Hooniverse Asks- What is the Greatest Motorcycle Name in History?

Robert Emslie May 22, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

Bonneville, Katana, Commando, Ninja, Express; just like their four-wheeled brethren, motorcycles have come with a lot of great, vivid names. Some recall famous races while others arouse an emotion akin to waking up with morning wood. There have been some great bikes over the years, and many of them have carried even greater names.

What you call a product can have as much to do with its emotional connectivity as does the physical manifestation. Occasionally a product takes off, perhaps in spite of its moniker – Apple’s women’s hygiene conjuring iPad being a prime example. But when it comes to bikes, rarely do the makers miss the mark in badging. After all, think of Honda’s Pacific Coast, a fully enclosed bike that only sold like two copies but can still evoked visions of leaning through turns on Highway 1 in Big Sur, maybe stopping at Nepenthe for a brief recharge before once again saddling up.

So, we all can agree that what something is called can drive its emotional positioning and even its place in the historical lexicon. With that in mind, and this being Two Wheel Tuesday – it is Tuesday, isn’t it? – which motorcycle do you think carries history’s greatest name?

Image: [moto ancienne]

63 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What is History’s Greatest Shared Platform?

Robert Emslie May 21, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

When it comes to designing cars, it may not come as a shock that all the money doesn’t get allocated across the car equally. Instead, each group- interior, steering, exterior lighting, etc, each gets a percentage of the overall development budget, and some are slighted to the benefit of others. That’s painfully evident when you get in a car that has great specs on paper – room, road competence – and then discover that the quality of the interior materials is on par with carnival tchotchkes.

One way to mitigate that is for various models across a manufacturer’s stable to share parts, all the way up to the basic platform upon which they ride. Ford’s a big believer in the mantra of the shared platform, having underlain damn-near everything they built in the U.S. during the late ’70s to early ’80s on the generosity of one Mr. Fox. The Fairmont, Mustang, Thunderbird, LTD, and Granada, plus their complimenting Mercury and Lincoln products, all shared basics of suspension mounting points and firewall design. A later version of this is Volvo’s P2 platform, the basics of which underpins such diverse products as that company’s XC90, the Lincoln MXS (Ford D3) and the Ford Flex (Ford D4).

And Ford is not alone in playing this game – GM has also practiced platform cloning, their products sometimes being referred to by their family design code – B-body, F-body, etc. And of course Volkswagen cranks out platform sharers across not just makes but nations – Skoda and Seat getting platforms from the German maker to clothe regionally. Sometimes this ubiquity of platform can breed out individual brand personalities, while other times it’s hardly even noticeable to either casual observer or even the driver. Considering that some makers do a better job than others at hiding all the similar bits, which shared platform do you think does the best job at keeping things under wraps?

Image: [best-selling-cars]

24 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What’s the Worst Car Fetish?

Robert Emslie May 18, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

If Ötzi the iceman is any indication, then humans have been marking their bodies with ink for more than 5,000 years. That 5,000-year old hunter is not only only the oldest known tattoo parlor patron, but as evidenced by the arrowhead in his back, he’s also the earliest confirmed murder victim. Several millennia later, we’re still inking and piercing and mohawking ourselves in an attempt to exhibit an individual sense of societal conformity. Oh yeah, and we’re also still offing each other like it’s a carnival game.

Personal expression is not limited to our personages either; in fact it’s extended to almost every accouterment we possess. We dress our cell phones in chic, expressive cases, and similarly embarrass our pets with sweaters, garish collars, and grooming that would shame Miss J. Alexander. And that fetish does not stop when it comes to our wheels.

Now, most of you very likely do not participate in any of this, car nuts being far less likely to care how their nether regions are coifed than the average person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t weigh in on what car adornment most catalyzes your rage and disgust. Perhaps it’s Carol Channing eyelashes, applied without consideration of the car’s personal shame. Or maybe it’s that bastion of redneck contempt for societal norms – truck nuts. Whatever the visual blight, which is your most hated car fetish?

Image: [carlashes]

111 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What’s Your Greatest Never Sold Here Lament?

Robert Emslie May 17, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

Did you know that you can’t easily buy ranch dressing in England? What’s up with that? I mean what the hell do the Brits dip their hot wings in while watching the Super Bowl? That’s just one of the obvious limitations of national borders, albeit one of the more egregious ones. Of course for those of us who get car-d ons the worse examples are all the iron denied an eager buying public because of concerns like safety and market viability.

Pish-posh I say. Let us have it all and let God sort ‘em out. Or something like that. Whatever the reason, not having certain cars in your country of choice can be a right pisser. Sure, as Antti has shown us, resourceful types take matters into their own hands and pretty much run what they brung. But not all of us are that capable. Or are willing to extend any effort at all for that matter.

And so, for those of us unable to make our dreams come true, which car or truck is the most dreamy? Is there one car that you worshiped from afar – across an ocean perhaps? If so, which one do you most lament not being sold where you could actually buy it? You know, if you actually had money?

Image: [freebestwallpapers]

163 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What’s The Worst Miata on the Interwebs?

Robert Emslie May 16, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

We don’t all agree upon everything. That fact is evidenced in the availability of Twinkies and Ding Dongs, which are both scrumptious. But one thing about which we are almost universally in agreement is that the Miata is the go-to car for pretty much anybody. Seemingly imbued with teflon-like ability to defy owner stereotype, the Miata is acceptable across a broad spectrum of driver types. Dude’s car? Sure. Chick wheels? Absolutely. Gay men? Lesbians? Liberals? Conservatives? It’s as though the little Mazda just can’t say no.

Even you could, or just may currently, drive an MX-5. In fact, just like the ubiquity of the car’s appeal, Mazda’s agreeability to sell the car to anyone with cash in hand or a credit rating over 600 means there’s plenty out there from which to choose. And both of these factors have led to an explosion in personalized Miati. Thing of it is, while we can all agree on how great the Miata is, very few of us would concur with the customizer’s individualistic descisions.

And that leads us to today’s quest which is – as a public service – to find the most egregiously modified Miata in existence. Most likely it will be on the Internet, as that seems to be their natural habitat, but we won’t constrain our search to that vast, but limited, resource. No, should you have happened upon – and snapped a few pictures of – an MX-5 that’s sporting reverse Lambo doors and a Hello Kitty motif then by all means do share. After all, if there’s one thing we should all be able to agree upon, it’s what not to do to a Miata.

Image: [moesrealm]

93 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- Is the New Camaro a Mullet-Mobile?

Robert Emslie May 15, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

Like the Mustang before it, the original Camaro maintained a persona associated with the likes of Mark Donahue, Roger Penske, and both SCCA and IROC associations. And then something happened. Maybe it was the ungainly rubber bumpers. Or perhaps it was just how simple it was to add shackle extenders to the back end, along with big meats and maybe some Krylon flames. Whatever the reason, the Camaro became the poster car for PBR-drinkers the world over.

Now I know what you’re saying, the third and fourth generation of GM’s bow tied F-body was NOT just about the mullet, and in fact they were just shy of the Corvette in the pantheon of American performance. And to that, I call Bull shite as the Scots are wont to say. Look, the Camaro lost its way, and for a while there it attempted to lure the ‘Vette over to the dark side as well. Unlike the Mustang which Ford has cultured almost without exception from its birth, Chevy seemed to eager to disown its pony car, even sending it to the cornfield for a while.

But you can’t kill a hero, and the Camaro rose from the grave a couple of years back, resplendent in first-gen evoking bodywork and a mechanical resume that puts even its cross-town rival to shame. After all, what red neck worth his bootleg Skynyrd cassettes would drive something with independent rear suspension? But what of the future of Chevy’s current take on the pony? Will the new Camaro suffer the same fate as its mid-life progenitors? What do you think, has the current Camaro escaped becoming a mullet-mobile? Or, is it all business in front and . . . well, you know?

Image: [pelicanparts]

44 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What Do You Picture Yourself Driving in Ten Years?

Robert Emslie May 14, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

When I was an adolescent, I had a list of cars I planned on owning approximately 10 years hence – once I had a steady job and could manage a stable of 8 or 10 cars. Well, reflecting on that list (which I won’t share), it appears I had extremely plebeian tastes and little concept of where such a collection would live. But that kind of anticipatory planning is always half the fun for a car enthusiast. Plus it’s a lot cheaper than actually buying all that stuff. But the biggest revelation of that list was how far reality landed from my earliest expectations.

That’s most likely the case even today, and not just for me. I’ll bet that you have planned your goal cars and perhaps even your daily drivers for both the near future and (no pun intended) down the road. And not being Marty McFly, it’s likely that you don’t have a clue what that actual future holds.

Still, as I noted it’s fun to dream and who knows, should you be especially tenacious and singularly focused, maybe those dreams will come true, after all Jiminy Cricket. Whether fanciful or not, what do you envision yourself driving ten years hence? Do you see yourself in a highly efficient hybrid on weekdays and a 427 Cobra as compensation on the weekend? Or, ever the stoic realist, do you plan to still be driving that in which you’re planting your butt today?

Image: [householdname]

66 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What American Car had the Most Impressive Italian Re-bodying? (Design Week)

Robert Emslie May 11, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

There’s a song that Irving Berlin composed for the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun called Anything You Can Do. A duet, the lyrics escalate competing accomplishments finally culminating in a climactic sharpshooting contest. While both the Broadway musical and Annie Get Your Gun are uniquely American, it’s pretty apparent that when it came to the styling of popular American car models, the design houses of Italy embodied the sentiments of that song.

Whether Corvette, Mustang (above), or others, there have been a plethora of American iron clothed in the finest of Italian tailoring. Most of these have been one-offs, although some – like the Pininfarina-styled Cadillac Allante – have been built in numbers. As most were show cars, many exhibited designs that were polarizing and unsuitable for American streets. Many were attempts for the design house to make its name better known in what for a long time was the most lucrative automotive market in the world. Almost all are provocative enough to be memorable.

But which is the most memorable? Or, more succinctly, which is the most impressive re-clothing of an American car by a notable Italian design house? That would be the biggies – Bertone, Pininfarina, Zagato and their ilk. Like an ugly duckling turned beautiful swan, what American car do you think had the most breathtaking reimagining by an Italian designer?

Image: [cartype]

50 Comments

What would you ask Wayne Carini of Chasing Classic Cars?

Kamil Kaluski May 10, 2012 All Things Hoon, Hooniverse Asks

You may know Wayne Carini as the host of Chasing Classic Cars on the Velocity Network. Wayne is also the owner of F40 Motorsports in Connecticut, along with a restoration and body shop associated with it. I have been to a monthly Cars and Coffee and an Open House at F40 Motorsports and always had a great time. I promise to make it out there some time this year.

Last year I had an opportunity to chat with Wayne and actually had a drink with him at a bar. He is a super nice guy, and needless to say is very knowledgeable. This Friday I will be attending an Autonomous Vehicle Conference at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Wayne will be there too. Being that we have so many lovers of old and unique vehicles here, is there anything that you hoons would like me to ask Wayne?

Also, Hyundai CEO John Krafcik will be there. He is basically the man responsible from for turning Hyundai from an econobox maker to the company that it is today. I can’t promise that I will get a chance to interview him but if you have any questions for Mr Krafcik, please post them here too and I’ll try to get some answers. Thanks.

[Image: poptower.com]

17 Comments

Hooniverse Asks- What is the Most Unfortunate Design House-Styled Production Car? (Design Week)

Robert Emslie May 10, 2012 Hooniverse Asks

Francis Ford Coppola directed The Godfather, Godfather II and Apocalypse Now. He also is responsible for Bram Stoker’s Dracula and One From the Heart. Apple Inc. brings us the iPhone, the iPad, and may have either saved or destroyed the music industry, depending on who you ask. That tech giant has also flubbed the move to online data storage – known to pasty geeks as The Cloud – not once, not twice, but three times so far.

That’s all preamble to set the stage for today’s Design Week Hooniverse Asks in which we want to know for what design heavy hitter proved to be the biggest strike out? Design houses live or die on their work, and those efforts need to both be iconic and representative of their ethos, as well as not making people throw up a little bit in their mouths.

Since one-off show cars are so wildly disrespectful of the need to appeal to the mass market we’re going to stick with design house artwork that clothes actual production cars. I know that I cheated that requirement in the lede photo, the Rolls Royce Hyperion being not just one of Pininfarina’s less proud moments, but also something that will (thankfully) never see even limited production. But that’s me and I get to stretch the rules because I’m the one who makes them up. For, let’s keep the mis-fires to cars and trucks – and whatever else you can find – that someone outside of the 1% could reasonably expect to buy. What do you think is the worst Design House designed production car?

Image: [clutchd]

78 Comments

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