My Citroën Xantia Break is my first Citroën and my first wagon. And as of today, it’s my first car to leave me stranded. That’s right, the Xantia just put the Break in “Break”, which obviously is a French term for “Not the Berline”.
After completing a 1300-km drive around Finland this past weekend and successfully bringing me home with the cargo area stuffed with Ikea mirrors and quality German wheat beer, the Xantia was unbearably dirty again. I had spent one evening buffing it to a presentable shine, so having it sit in my parking spot covered in cack was something I needed to sort out, at my earliest convenience. So, as I had thrown my girlfriend the keys and let her drive to the supermarket, I suggested we take a trip through the carwash nearby. This proved to be a mistake.
As the carwash programme ended and the Xantia was seemingly sparkly again, I turned the key. Idiot lights came on as expected, but crucially – no start. No starter whine. No click. Nothing. What?