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Caddy and Lincoln joined in Holy Matrimony

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Weddings are huge events in Poland. Not unlike everywhere else, everyone who is getting married wants to be driven to their wedding is something prestigious, classy, memorable, and obviously pricey. In post-communist Poland, a Rolls-Royce would be most solid choice, but there were none to be found. Mercedes would be a good alternative, if it wasn’t for the fact that old cheap one were as common as VW Golfs. So, if you wanted something with more bling, something that no one else had – what did you get?

You got a big-ass Caddy!

Everyone in Poland kind of knew what a Caddy was. Even if they did not see them real life, they have seen them in Godfather, and Reagan had one, so to many this must have been the best vehicle in the world.

Now imagine you’re guy who is starting a wedding car business in post-communist Poland. It’s a great money maker, if not for the fact that everyone started doing it, but it required some upfront capital. Let’s say you convince your whole family to go in together on a Caddy. That car will be bought used in United States by your surgeon uncle who is in the U.S. working as truck loader because it pays more. The vehicle will be fixed up by his physicist friend who is working in a U.S. body shop because it pays more, and then shipped to Poland.

But money is tight, so you want the cheapest best looking car there is. You don’t care about the title, accident history, or performance, just as long as it looks good from twenty feet away and is able to move on its own power. That is what I think happened to the above pictured Cadillac, which somehow ended up with a Lincoln Two Car (or a Mercury Grand Marquis?) front-end on it.

But don’t think that this kind of phenomenon is strictly limited to Poland. Nope.

Image source: Zlomnik.pl

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The Carchive: The 1975 Colt Celeste

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It’s high time that we took a step back from the motoring cutting edge to reflect on the good, the extremely bad and the irretrievably ugly that has gone before, and take a few moments to contemplate whether intents were delivered or promises were broken. To discover how we got from the past to the present, we need to start in The Carchive.

Last week we started this years ball rolling with a look at the car that ushered in a new era of total adequacy for Korean cars, the Hyundai Stellar. Today we head a little further back through the mists of time to 1975, when a new, exciting force in Coupe’s appeared on the scene. The Company was Mitsubishi, the brand was Colt, and the car was the Celeste. Behold the magnificence after the jump.

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Car I.D: On Seeking Clarity When I Killed My Senses.

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I had quite a lot to drink this Saturday night. I was taking part in an annual Wassailing festival, drinking plenty of warm mulled cider and singing incantations to any apple trees within earshot who happened to be listening, with the dual aims of increasing this year’s fruit harvest through spiritual means, that and getting royally slizzard.

I can report considerable success in the latter (I’ll keep you posted on how the apples turn out), and the late phases of the evening saw the whole group of us grinning our way through the program of music and dancing, until our conscious mindsets were quite a long way removed from reality. It was as I was headed towards this higher state of being that I found myself out in the car park and confronted by a piece of car that I genuinely didn’t recognise. I actually began to panic. I’m usually so completely immersed in the world of cars that I can identify pretty much everything at all likely to be found on the road with my eyes closed, my nose blocked and my ears taped shut. Yet here I was looking at a section of sheet metal that, as far as I was concerned could have come from outer space.

I was losing it. My brain had turned to mush. I don’t do drugs (er, aside from alcohol and caffeine) but I was quite clearly tripping.

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Video: Hungarian car gathering for Jalopnik

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We like our Eastern European crapcans over here at Hooniverse. And so do the folks at Jalopnik, as this video right here testifies. As the Jalopnik guys, visiting Budapest, wanted to see a gathering of cars that you don’t usually catch over on the other side of the pond, they got what they asked for – and it being Hungary, a ton of Suzuki Swifts as well. That’s pretty much the national car of Hungary by now.

The first thing you lay your eyes on is an Alfa Romeo Montreal. Then, Matt Hardigree professes his love of the Ford Sierra and the Ford Ka, Tarvis Okulski drives a Tarbant, there’s a Lotus Omega and a Zaporoshets; it’s a pretty cool sortiment of anything that could appear on a random car day. Take a look!

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Video: Ariel Atom on the street and on the track

ACE Performance is a northeast Ariel Atom retailer and a good friend of Hooniverse. One of their clients is Henry Cipolla who owns an Ariel Atom and has it serviced there. His driving time is split equally between street and tracks. The two got together to make two videos about this amazing vehicle, check them out.

(Another clip after the jump)

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The Carchive: The 1989 Hyundai Sonata

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If you enjoyed our regular delves into The Carchive last year, you’ll probably easily tolerate them in 2015. For the uninitiated, this feature (which tends to be posted at slightly irregular intervals) is more-or-less unique in its scope. Nowhere else on the internet does anybody take the time to fillet and digest forgotten, worthless brochures for forgotten, worthless cars. In some cases the comments section fills with emotional outpourings as nostalgia is sparked; more usually there’s total radio silence punctuated only by the occasional drifting electronic tumbleweed.

One thing’s for sure, you can take it as read that todays offering exemplifies the sheer class of product that you’ll be reading more about on this wavelength in the year to come.

Welcome back to The Carchive.

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Weekend Edition Last Call – How about a 1962 Falcon Wagon that will tear up the Quarter Mile…

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This is the last call for the weekend, and I just found this video of a 1962 Ford Falcon Wagon… pretty Plain Jane looking, complete with dog dish hubcaps, that will do 10 second runs on the quarter mile. Make the jump to take a look at this amazing Falcon, and tell me what you think of this car…

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Two Polish Junk Yards

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Last October I went to Poland. While there I took care of some personal stuff, visited family, met up with the man behind zlomnik.pl (I frequently feature pictures from that awesome site) and of course did some car-related things. One of them was stopping by a junk yard that was just outside of Warsaw. It was really random, we were just driving by it in my father’s Lada Niva and I decided to stop in, see what’s what and how similar/different it is from American junk yards.

The second set of junk yard pictures was taken by my Polonez owning cousin Darek. He drove some place far away to a junk yard that specialized in FSO parts, where he picked up various trim pieces and some doors for his car. Check out all the images after the jump.

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The Carchive:- The ’64 Plymouth Barracuda

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It’s absolutely miserable outside, so what better to do than lock the doors, pour a warm beverage and snuggle up with a pile of nice, easily digestible car brochures from some dim and distant point in the past?

That’s what I did this weekend, and among them was this somewhat tattered launch brochure for the Plymouth Barracuda. Take the jump to remember just what unique qualities the Other pony car had to offer.

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The Carchive:- The Jaguar 4-Door range of 1976

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It’s that time of the week again where time stops, rewinds and we suddenly find ourselves surrounded by salesmen. Today they’re wearing kipper ties and bell bottoms, and they’ll probably offer me a scotch if I sign on the dotted line for one of their shiny new 1976 cars. Before I can make my decision I have to sit through all their promises and claims. Some things truly never change. Welcome to The Carchive.

Last time around we were driving in middle-class Luxury, Japanese style with the 1979 Nissan Laurel. Today we’re going a little way upmarket and speaking in hushed tones. We’re back in Britain, and we’re in a Jag.

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