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Our Cars: Suzuki Kizashi
Welcome The Town Cow’s Successor

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From the time I formally introduced myself to the Hooniversalist faithful, my main ride has been a ’91 Lincoln affectionately dubbed the “Town Cow.” And along the way, I’ve chronicled its long, sad decline into beater-dom. I’ve also on several occasions expressed my unabashed affection for the underrated, star-crossed Suzuki Kizashi. Well, eleven days ago, I became the owner of a 2011 Kizashi GTS Sport, and my motoring world has pretty much been turned inside-out — in the best way possible. … Continue Reading

Project Car SOTU: 1984 Toyota Tercel 4WD

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When we purchased this 1984 Tercel for $1k back in 2011 I made a thread on FinalGear entitled “Restoration. How hard can it be?” Unfortunately Richard Hammond wasn’t nearby to shout “Don’t say that!” Still, even though the restoration isn’t anywhere near finished we have made some progress.

Only for it to be killed by entropy.

For example, the pic you see above is the one a less-reputable used car dealer would use to frontline an ad (or the one a writer would use to make a point). A cab driver had its way with the other side, because of course it did.

… Continue Reading

Project Audinary- So close, So, So far

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Last year you were introduced to my erstwhile daily-driver turned nothing-to-lose street weapon. Project Audinary, a 1998 Audi A4 1.8t that I have owned for seven years. It’s covered seventy thousand miles in my custody, and at 120K elapsed is due its second cam-belt change.

My intention was to kill a whole flock of birds with one stone.  I know there’s something awful going on concerning the oil and the coolant and the fact that they seem to be on rather better terms with each other than I’d like, leading to disgusting emulsified yellowness in the expansion tank. So I’d like to get to grips with this first, and the cambelt. Once I’m satisfied that the car is healthy enough to be a sensible proposition to have money thrown at it, I can start looking at far sexier things like remapped ECU’s, uprated injectors and higher-PSI turbos.

For now, I’m having a go at walking before even attempting to run.

… Continue Reading

The Aston Martin Vulcan
An 800hp Carbon Fiber Track Assassin

Jeff Glucker February 24, 2015 Announcements

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You know I love the Aston Martin brand. I’ve been fortunate to drive pretty much every vehicle they produce in a variety of driving situations. It’s not a stretch to say that I’ve become quite acquainted with what’s possible when behind the wheel of an Aston Martin vehicle.

Well, there’s a new Aston Martin model… and it should warp anything that I thought was possible when piloting a machine wearing the AM wings. It’s called the Aston Martin Vulcan, and it’s here to steal your heart while devouring your soul.

… Continue Reading

Submissions Thursday: Back from the Dead

Tim Odell February 12, 2015 Announcements, Featured

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Hooniverse‘s all-amateur cast gives us our unique character, but limits us as well. Simply put, we’ve only got so much time for the site. We tend to go with what we know: I’m all about my projects and your future projects, for example. It’s a good mix, but even the tastiest smoothie with the same eight ingredients gets old after a while. That’s where you come in. Maybe you have aspirations of making several dollars as an automotive writer or maybe you went to a cool car show and took some pictures. It’s not uncommon to think you’ve got a whole blog’s worth of writing in your head, but run out after only a few posts. Either way, we’re interested in what you have to share.

…but that doesn’t mean we’ll write up just anything you send in. A few tips:

Car show pictures: get there early for good lighting and fewer people. A bunch of shoulder-height, 10-feet away shots of a cool car with a crowd around it doesn’t quite cut it. Get down on one knee, frame the shot, capture the details and try to talk to the owner about the car.

Skip the rant: we’re not interested in your 1200 word tirade on how BMW’s lost its way or Kids These Days do/don’t care about cars. Framing your rant around some personal anecdote doesn’t change its ultimate destination (falling off the bottom of the inbox, unread).

Builds: Love them. If we had a real budget, I’d do nothing but build awesomely perverse cars all day.

Ownership experiences: Great. Nothing deflates Forum Logic(c) quite like a well-reasoned ownership report from someone who actually owns a car and actually uses it.

I Did a Thing!: This gets tricky. I date myself with the phrase, but we don’t want the car blog equivalent of flipping through someone’s vacation slides. Point is, your coast-to-coast roadtrip might’ve been an incredible experience…but there’s no guarantee reading about it will be. (Presumably) no one’s assigned to read Hooniverse, so be sure to write it up in a way that gives readers a reason to keep reading.

What’s in it for you? A lot of people just love the ego/portfolio boost from having their stuff published. We love those people too. If the intangibles don’t quite do it for you, we’d be happy to throw some swag your way, courtesy of the miscellaneous stuff our PR friends send us or maybe a Hooniverse decal or shirt.

If you’re interested, hit us up at submissions@hooniverse.com

(Picture completely unrelated aside from being awesome. Copyright Daisy Odell/Hooniverse.com)

Win a Jeep offroading trip to the Rubicon Trail

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We here at Hooniverse like to think we’re capable of anything and we like our vehicles similarly capable. We also like working with our partners and friends from the web when they have a sweet contest involving extremely capable vehiclse that might appeal to our favorite Hoons (That’s you!). In a perfect world, this would involve traversing the Mecury’s dark side in a Willys MB, trying to stay in the shade of the impossibly close Sun.

Unfortunately, nobody’s sending a war-surplus Jeep to Mercury yet (Please call us back Elon Musk; it’ll work), but we’ve got the next best thing from our friends over at Jeep Wrangler aftermarket specialists Extreme Terrain: the chance to win a three-day, expenses-paid guided offroading trip for two on California’s Rubicon Trail in a custom Wrangler. Follow the jump for more.

… Continue Reading

In Memoriam Of One Of Our Own

Deartháir February 2, 2015 Announcements, Featured
Joe Lynn, aka chrystlubitshi.

Joe Lynn, aka chrystlubitshi.

We have a sad announcement to make from behind the scenes at the Hooniverse-Atomic Toasters Galactic Central Command. We have lost one of our own. One of the original group of commenters who followed us here to our new corner of the internet, back when we first started Hooniverse so many years ago, has passed away at a very young age.

… Continue Reading

Announcing the 2014 Hooniversal Car of the Year!

The Prestigious Hooniversal Car of the Year award!

The Prestigious Hooniversal Car of the Year award!

You know, if you had asked me to predict this year’s winner, I can honestly say I would not have guessed correctly. I may have had my hopes, but I would certainly not have guessed it. With all the flashiness, the show, the look-at-me attention-grabbing of most of the other nominations, I would not have guessed that the most Hooniverse of all the nominations would actually take home the green participation ribbon coveted trophy.

… Continue Reading

One of you should join HOT ROD – They’re hiring…

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One of the greatest channels on the You Tubes is, without question, the Hot Rod Garage. Hosts David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan have announced that they are looking for a new person to join their team and deliver piping hot video awesome.

To apply, you’re going to need to make a video of your own. Once you post it to your own channel, comment on the above video with a link to your own video. The Hot Rod team will find it and whittle down some finalists with help from their viewers.

Now is your chance to put your knowledge to work for actual money… and get a leg up on what I do, for no money. Seriously, someone reading this would probably be a great fit for their team since you all know way more than the average car guy or gal.

Hooniversal Secret Ninja Claus: Part… something

Jo Schmo December 8, 2014 Announcements, HSNC

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Welcome back to HSNC, the thirty-third of Nevuary!  Shall we play a game?

Whelp, it’s that time of year again.  A time of giving.  A time of receiving (maybe… if you signed up last year and did not participate move on.)  Rules are same as always. Contact me via ninjaclaus@atomictoasters.com and I will match you up with your secret victim and someone else will get your contact info to send you nefarious… uh stuff.  You can also follow us in our Facebook Group, however I won’t be accepting requests there this year.  It is a logistical nightmare to match FB and non-FB participants.  There is no cap on this because who really puts a value on car related crap right?  Someone might get a hubcap from a retired LeMons car, someone might get a brand new Xbox with the latest Forza on it, and, hopefully this year everybody gets something.  I have a list and I am checking it twice.  I know who has been naughty and nice so if you signed up last year and didn’t follow through you will have to send two crummy gifts this year to participate.  Anywho, this is fun for a bunch of people so ifn you wanna play, then play.   It’s my bad that I am late getting this going so I will run this all the way up through new years if you guys want (I have reports that some of last years people finally received gifts as late as last month.  Better late than never?)

Merry Hoonimas everybody!

~Hooniclaus

 

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