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The Best Guy on Craigslist, Part 2: Four Early-’80s Imperials for $2000

1981 chrysler imperial for sale

Unfortunately for me, I’m resigned to believe that a solid-axle, rear-wheel-drive Detroit V8 powered car can only be so bad. I’m just a notch too young to have experienced the contrast between a humble but reliable late-70s Honda and a corpulent, shoddily assembled contemporary Buick. With that in mind, The Best Guy on Craigslist’s fleet of 4 Imperials for $2,000 seems like a recipe for an incredibly successful and classy LeMons squad.

While the early and late cars spring to mind most quickly, we must remember the Imperial name graced the graced one of Chrysler’s last RWD cars until recent times. Sharing a platform with the Dodge Monaco and (non-Corinthian) Chrysler Cordoba, the early-80s Imperial came with a TBI’ed 318 V8, 904 transmission and a ton of cheesy early-80s luxury touches like fake crystal and over-padded velour seats.

While these seem to be run-of-the-mill Imperials, a good theme might be to construct one into each version of the special editions they were available in, most notably the Frank Sinatra SE, which came with a box set of 16 Sinatra tapes.

Check out all the slant-nose glory right here: Four 1981-83 Chrysler Imperials for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

We’ve got one more post from this seller, but that’ll have to wait for Thursday…

The Best Guy on Craigslist, Part 1: 1472ci worth of Cadillacs for $1600

1976 cadillac eldorado for sale

Yours truly, fellow Hoon Eric Rood and Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil spent the weekend sweating our undersides off dispensing justice at the World Record Setting* Vodden The Hell are We Doing 24 Hours of LeMons at Thunderhill Raceway, which means I’ve got LeMons on the brain. Scheming some ideas for ridiculous LeMons cars, my mind circled in on using the Cadillac FWD architecture of a massive V8 mounted longitudinally over a mutant TH400 transmission with CV shafts exiting east-west. Uncovering a pair of Eldorados on craigslist was just the tip of the LeMony iceberg. Noticing the cars in the background, searching the seller’s phone number uncovered a septic tank treasure trove too awesome to be contained in one post.

To lead off, we’ve got a fleet of Fleetwoods Eldorados for a distressingly low price. The Seller has a pair of ’76 Eldos in one Craigslist ad, with a ’69 in another. the ’76s are 500ci-equipped convertibles, while the ’69 is a 472ci hardtop. Don’t let the displacement fool you, the smaller ’69 is definitely the most potent of the trio, but the low-compression ’76s could be freed of their emissions controls and still deliver torque by the ton at the low end. Those low compression lumps will run on our crappy California gas without begging for octane booster. Besides, the lower CR leaves open the possibility of running some mild turbocharging for an even more ridiculous setup.

Oh yeah, that ridiculous setup…I know the Scrubbing Bubbles VW is looking for a new home. If not “Scrubby”, a VW Van probably provides ample room to nestle that powerplant in the rear. Not to impugn the 70 year old Volkswagen design, but maybe something more recent like an Astro Van would work better. Or (duh) you could just run them in their FWD Boss Hoggian drop-drop glory!

Pair of 1976 Cadillac Eldorado Convertibles for sale – SF Bay Craigslist
1969 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

Tune in later for 2 more posts of awesomeness from the same seller…

*pending Guinness certification, which might take nearly forever.

Weekend at Beaulieu – 4 Sale: Matra-Simca Bagheera

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The massed ranks of visitors to the annual International Autojumble at Beaulieu Motor Museum includes folk from every possible different background, and this point is not lost on the exhibitors. Among the crowds there may well be somebody tentatively looking for their next project, so you’ll find motivated sellers of all kinds of decaying machinery vying to part the next willing optimist with their money.

The way I see it, the world is made up of two groups. Those who want to own a Matra Simca Bagheera, and those who already have one. Step this way if you’re a member of Group A.

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“SCARY Porsche 914″ Seller Wins Honest eBayer of the Week Award

1974 porsche 914 for saleThe Art of the Sale is putting a positive spin on every aspect of your ware. Rusted out? Pre-lightened! Seized motor? Great LSXFTW swap candidate! and so on, to the point no one takes you seriously. This seller does the opposite, almost daring you to pick up this car, as it’s so horrible:

THIS CAR HAS BEEN HIT MORE TIMES THAN MIKE TYSON , IT HAS MORE MILES ON IT THAN THE SPACE SHUTTLE , THE GLASS HAS VERICOSE VEINS , ITS ON CHEMO THERAPY FOR METASTASIZED CANCER , IT HAS SEVERAL HUNDRED MUD DOBBERS AND YELLOW JACKETS LIVING IN IT AS WELL AS A COUPLE OF SNAKES THAT ARE GETTING FAT ON ALL THE FIELD MICE THAT LIVE IN IT. IF YOU BUY THIS CAR AND PUT IT IN YOUR SHOP , THE NEXT MORNING YOU WILL EXPERIENCE WILD KINGDOM

1974 porsche 914 for sale (1)1974 porsche 914 for sale (3)

So…a typical sub-$1000 Porsche 914, then? In all honesty, it looks like it’d make a great LeMons car or first car for your least favorite kid (why no both?!)

$960, auction ends Friday: 1974 Porsche 914 – eBay Motors

1960 Ford F100 Panel Wagon, Because Vans are Too Mainstream

1960 ford panel wagon for sale

Oddly enough, Ford didn’t introduce the Falcon Econoline Van until 1961, so if you wanted a Ford box on wheels in 1960, this was your only option. This panel wagon, based on the third generation F-100 truck sports an early straight-six and three-on-the-tree. If the setting of the photo shoot weren’t a giveaway, this one’s a “ran when parked” special, having spent 12 years in the weeds. Prior to parking, the engine was rebuilt and a new clutch fitted. Alas, the rear main seal is shot (some rebuild…) and it’ll need a full going through to do more than sputter and set the tall grass on fire. The good news is it doesn’t get much simpler than a straight-six Ford pickup. The bad news is there are no pictures of the back of the interior. Spiderwebs, hornets’ nests, dead hobos or a ’70s sex grotto are all within the realm of possibilities.

Leaving out those possibilities, let’s think about what we could do with this thing. Think time’s over: Camping Rig is the proper answer. While I’m a big fan of period correctness, originality isn’t my cross to bear. Instead, I’d grab the 4×4 chassis of a number of Ford trucks being parted out on Craigslist and swing that sweet, sweet heavy duty drivetrain right into place. A good set of mud tires, a winch and a locker or two and you’d be good to wander to the ends of the earth in your rolling hobo mausoleum/sex grotto.

Two final details: the seller’s asking $2000 and also suggests that this would “make a great first truck for a teen”…which is both terrifying and awesome at the same time.

1960 Ford F100 Panel Wagon – Stockton Craigslist

Volvo V50 T5 MT AWD Flood Car is Quite the Swedish Siren

volvo v50 for saleIn the ’00s Volvo went through an awesome phase, moving on from all FWD automatics to offering a few great vehicles in turbocharged manual transmission AWD form (see also: V70R). Alas, People in General have terrible taste in cars, so very of them were willing to plunk down Volvo’s painful asking price for three pedal turbo wagons (Three Pedal Turbo Wagon: also a great band name). That’s why the $3500 price on this ’07 V50 (T5MTAWDFTMFW) had my jaw on the floor. Then I noticed the picture set has copious amounts of snow in the background. Cars with months-old pictures usually have a back-story. In the case of this Volvo, that back-story involves a big girl named Sandy and an influx of saltwater up to about the level of the shifter.

volvo v50 for sale (1)volvo v50 for sale (2)volvo v50 for sale (3)

The seller does a good job of listing what’s known and unknown in terms of electrical system corrosion, highlighting some major hurdles in the project to turn this back into a runner. Specifically, the main fuse box (which is apparently so over-engineered it needs dealer reprogramming to work again) will need replacing, along with most of the interior electronics. Based on the description, I can’t help but think this would be a great candidate for race/rally car conversion. Gut the (dried out, but suspicious) interior, replace the destroyed circuitry with something simpler, add a megasquirt or other stand-alone ECU and head for your local rallycross event.

On the other hand, why not pull the drivetrain and make the world’s most awesome Pinto Cruising Wagon?

2007 Volvo V50 T5 AWD MT for sale – eBay Motors

MGTD Kit Car With Limo Stretch Is Horrible, Yet Oddly Intriguing

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The MG-TD was and is a very desirable vehicle. That’s why Fiberfab and other kit car companies successfully sold knockoffs that could be easily bolted to a VW floorplan. Today, those VW-powered kit replicas are largely considered to be, um, “less desirable.” So, what would make it better? The same answer as any other car: a limo stretch! American Eagle Motors in Virginia is offering this “one of a kind” custom stretched Fiberfab TD replica for an undisclosed sum. The price is listed as “Call Us”, so maybe they’re so desperately lonely they’ll give you car just for calling and talking a while. More pics and details after the jump.

Would you want your bride or prom date to show up in this?

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Weekend Edition Last Call – A Lincoln Limousine with an open view…

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Let’s call it a Weekend with this very unusual Lincoln Town Car Limousine… This is a 1988 Lincoln Town Car Limousine that was converted by Southampton Coachworks in Farmingdale, NY… and I think it had the tin top on it when it was converted, but now it’s an open view Stripper Show, complete with a Candy Cane Pole…

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Weekend Edition Quick Hit – A 1974 GMC Sprint SP 454; The Other El Camino

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Welcome to the Sunday Edition of the Hooniverse Weekend, and I am going to start with an unusual car based pickup that you don’t see a lot of anymore. This is a GMC Sprint, which is really nothing more than a Chevrolet El Camino with different identification. As I highlighted in one of my Obscure Muscle Car Posts a few months ago, the Sprint SP was the performance package, similar to the El Camino SS. This one is a later version than the ones outlined, with a honkin’ 454 under the hood, but the asking price is in never never land…

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Pinto Cruising Wagon Twofer – Buy them before I end up living in them!

I’ve got a sick attraction to the Pinto Cruising Wagon. It’s so very of its time. Plus, a Pinto is a remarkably buildable platform, being light and easily accommodating a Ford smallblock or any of the descendants of The Pinto Four Cylinder, be they later Ranger motors or 2.3L turbos. I’m told there’s some crossover there to Mazda and Volvo motors as well.

But I get ahead of myself; let’s focus on the cars at hand. Yes, plural: two Pinto Wagons. One’s a run-of-the-mill two door wagon, the other a proper Cruising Wagon. The price? $1000 for the pair. I’m hyperventilating at the idea of being able to run a two car, ten person LeMons squad. I’m thinking a split theme: the Cruising Wagon is a crew of late-70s Quaalude-popping, polyester jumpsuit wearing scumbags, obviously. The brown wagon will be their contemporary Bible-thumping, sweater-wearing Moral Majority folks on a quest to save their souls. Chick tracts will be mandatory.

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