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Classic Captions – 1971 Nissan Cherry Coupe Edition

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One of the amazing things the Internet age has brought us is the ability to interact more expansively with cultures other than our own, to increasingly become World Citizens, as it were. In this case, one random click of my mouse was all it took to discover this warmly-hued photo from the Japanese-market dealer brochure for the Nissan Cherry line-up. Prior to DARPA allowing all of us to wander around in their series of tubes, the odds of any of us in North America or Europe laying eyes on this particular image would be much, much slimmer. It makes me wonder where these two bright youngsters are today, now in their mid-’60s at the youngest. Is the Western-looking male still living in Japan? Did she continue modeling? Did the photographer ever figure out how to properly color-balance his shots? What fender on the Cherry rusted through first, and which scrapyard melted it down into chunks of pot-metal? So many unknowns. But there’s one thing we do know: you guys will find plenty here to riff on in the comments.
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False Neutral #28: Rusty Spokes

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This week Pete’s old friend and long-time riding buddy Rusty Spokes joins the crew. We discuss his new Africa Twin including Honda’s DCT with somebody who actually rides one this time, and how it compares to his V-Strom 1000. We ask him about his past bikes and future riding experiences. Meanwhile, Eric rode a BMW C650GT scooter in Canada.

Past Hooniverse articles starring Rusty:


False Neutral – Rusty Spokes

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Classic Captions Holiday Bonus – 2014 Honda Grom Edition

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It’s Labor Day in the USA today, which means most Hooniversalists are out somehwere, eating grilled food and hopefully blasting around in a boat, in their car, or on their bike. But for those of you who are in other nations, forced to work today, or simply don’t go outdoors, here’s a bonus edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest for you.

I’ve been holding onto this image for a while, unsure of what kind of response it might generate. It’s only a couple years old, so it’s not exactly “classic,” and bikes in general are a bit of a niche interest on the ‘Verse. But today is a bit of a throwaway, site-traffic-wise, so why not? It’s such an interesting throwback in this era of political correctness and liability fears: here’s a manufacturer’s press photo showing rider doing a burnout while a morsel of cheesecake (fresh from filming a Busch Beer ad, I’d guess) looks on enthusiastically. As for the significance of the ceramic dog and the pop-up shade tent, your guess is as good as mine. In one nod to modern litigiousness, the rider is admittedly pretty ATGATT.

Surely, there are a couple of clever captions for this photo already popping into your head.
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False Neutral #27: Ride That Thing!

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So many of our recent conversations have been about bikes — colors, prices, configuration, wrenching — that we decided it was time to talk about, you know, actually riding the dang things. Before we get to that, we discuss Kawasaki Zephyr 750s and Garrett’s troubled cruise in our “old business” segment. Then, Eric, Garrett, and I delve into the risks, rewards, and hassles of riding motorcycles, from commuting (and why none of us does it too regularly) to the differences between two and three wheels, to day trips and multi-day tours. Skype and audio equipment issues did their best to thwart our efforts this week, but in the end we managed to put together what I think turned out to be a better-than-okay episode.

The YouTube video I mention that demonstrates SMIDSY crash avoidance is embedded after the jump.


False Neutral – Ride That Thing!

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Classic Captions – 1979 Ford Van Edition

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You can count on Classic Captions to bring the retro. Today we risk overdosing on it, with a gale-force assault of ’70s cliches: multicolored tape stripes, porthole windows, white spoke wheels shod with Goodyear Polyglas tires, and that’s just the vehicle! To that, add such tastefully period touches such as the Honda XL dirtbike, a white cowl-neck knit top, wicker platform wedges, plus a director’s chair and a folding web lawn chair. Stare long enough and you can almost hear strains of England Dan and John Ford Coley emanating from an unseen cassette player. The only question is whether it’s a Sanyo or a Panasonic. If you can’t come up with a clever witticism in response to this, your creative juices have turned to powder inside you, like the blood of those victims in The Andromeda Strain. Or perhaps you’re just young enough to have no idea who England Dan and John Ford Coley are. Um…were.
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False Neutral #26: Bold New Graphics! Part 2

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In the conclusion of our discussion about color schemes, graphics, and racing team liveries, we look at Italian bikes and cruisers, before things go further afield (as usual). The merits of gold paint, Buells and mauve racebikes are pondered. Eric goes down a disturbing Japanese Internet rabbit hole, and Garrett follows him.

As always check out pictures of the bikes we discuss on the other side of the jump — 31 this week!
WARNING: several TDR250 images cannot be unseen.


False Neutral – Bold New Graphics! Part 2

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Classic Captions – ZAZ 968 Zaporozhets Edition

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Certain types of ads are richer veins of Classic Captions gold than others. For example, advertising images for malaise era luxury cars, anemic ’80s domestic “sporty” cars, and overly trendy ’90s cute utes each promise a giggle of anticipation even before you’ve seen the ad in question. Now, let’s add to that list Eastern Bloc cars. Communist promo photos of the Soviet era tirelessly mimicked the bright, cheerful sophistication of Western consumer advertising, which only highlighted the somber oppressiveness of life behind the Iron Curtain and the crudeness of the cars built there. This marketing image could almost depict a happy Floridian at Cypress Gardens in the early ’70s. But not quite. Even if the viewer blots out the Zaporozhets, something remains just a bit off. It’s like they were trying a little too hard. And that awkwardness should make it easy fodder for your cleverest comments.
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Thurston Howell Thursday: Jag Stretch Limo

Peter Tanshanomi August 18, 2016 Quick Pics

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When a friend’s daughter recently got married, she and her new husband were whisked away from the church in this Jaguar stretch. I was simultaneously aghast and kinda jazzed at the uniqueness of it. From the general concept to the execution, such as the missing side molding on the added section between the doors, it seems to require a thoroughly misguided concept of what constitutes social status and prestige in order to enjoy. As such, it’s my second favorite ironically cool wedding limo EVAR.

False Neutral #25: Bold New Graphics! Part 1

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Pete, Eric and Garrett are all in attendance this week. After we discuss the current (and prospective) contents of our garages, we explore motorcycle graphics in response to a listener suggestion: production paint schemes, factory race liveries, and various motorcycle makers’ iconic graphic signatures. This episode is on the shorter side for us, but with the overwhelming number of motorcycles we talk about, I thought it best to split it; there are nearly twenty photos of bikes below as it is, and that was a conservative listing! This week we concentrate mostly on Japanese sport bikes and dirt bikes, before moving to European bikes and cruisers next week.

As mentioned in the podcast, be sure to check out the super-duper awesome “I ♥ Sundown Stripes” Facebook group.

My 2010 Hooniverse obituary for Molly Sanders can be found here: Molly Sanders: The guy who programmed your brain


False Neutral – Bold New Graphics! Part 1

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Classic Captions: 1986 Chevy Camaro Z-28 Edition

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This is the part where I introduce this week’s photo and point out a few things to get you excited about developing a witty caption. I mention something cringe-worthy about the car, or point out something about the surrounding image set-up that is hokey, faddish, dated, nonsensical, or annoying.

Obviously, none of that be necessary this week.
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