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Classic Captions – ’54 Lincoln Edition

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This week’s old-timey ad image contains not one car, but three differently outfitted 1954 Lincolns, skillfully chosen to show the car’s multi-faceted something-or-other. Or perhaps, they just happened to parked next to each other. What the ad men wished to convey is immaterial, of course, because what we’re interested in is what you make of all this — or more accurately, what witty thing you can make of it. Leave a comment, a narrative, a song parody, or even a photoshopped image below. You might achieve fame, fortune, and a minor mention in next week’s installment.
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False Neutral #16: She’s A Grand Ol’ Flag

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It’s an all-American episode in honor of Flag Day! Our Harley-riding Hooni-friend Wayne Moyer joins your three regular hosts for a spirited discussion of American bikes and the state of the American motorcycle industry. From Harley and Victory to Motus and Rokon, it’s a great episode — except for that unfortunate part when we lose Eric in a tragic house fire.

False Neutral – She’s a Grand Ol’ Flag

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Classic Captions – ’67 Chevy Nova SS Edition

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The third installment of the reconstituted Classic Captions Contest features a 1967 Chevy Nova, along with either a pair of very different twins, or perhaps two sides of the same woman’s personality. Which is it? That’s not up to me, but you. Provide a your explanation as to what’s afoot here in the comments. If you can manage to find a clever play on the scene and the car, you might be this week’s top vote-getter!

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False Neutral #15: Bikes, Cars & Everything In-Between with Bradley Brownell

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In this very special Hooniverse Podcast Network crossover event, Brad (aka Tub of the Cammed & Tubbed podcast) joins us for a Bradsport™-Infused discussion of the curious differences between the car world and the bike world. It takes a while for us to even get to our topic, as we discuss hipsters and coffee snobs first, and almost as quickly things take a left-turn into a discussion of Porsches. Eventually, we get around to talking about bikes. But regardless of what we’re discussing, everybody has a great time. Bradley is a genuinely nice guy and was terrific fun to have on the show.


False Neutral – Bikes, Cars & Everything In-Between, with Bradley Brownell

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Classic Captions – 1976 Mustang II Ghia Edition

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The reboot of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest two weeks ago was well received, and after skipping a week (due to the low traffic normally seen on a Monday holiday), we’re back with another vintage automobile publicity photo for you to mock get creative with. This time it’s the most malaise-y of Mustang IIs, the formal-roofed, puffy-vinyled Ghia notchback, at a small airport. Why is it parked on the apron, who are those men, and what is going on? That’s all up to you.
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False Neutral #14: Oddball Bikes

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After first catching up on what’s going on with the bikes in our garages, we explore the oddities of the motorcycling world: rotary, six-cylinder and turbo engined bikes, super huge and tiny bikes, and otherwise normal bikes with odd features.


False Neutral – Oddball Bikes

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False Neutral #13: Manx Dreams

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This week we focus first on visionary motorcycle designer and racer Michael Czysz, who passed away earlier this month. We then move on to discuss the legendary Manx TT. Many of Czysz’s achievements came on the island’s Snaefell Mountain Course on the Isle of Man. The 37.75 mile road course is home to the world’s oldest motorcycle race, dating back to 1907, and quite possibly the world’s most dangerous. Just weeks away from this year’s event, we delve into the Tourist Trophy’s storied history and unique stature, share a bit of Manx history, and discuss the effect of racing there over the years.

We don’t have bike photos for you this week, but here are few links related to this week’s conversation:


False Neutral – Manx Dreams

Classic Captions – 1962 Chevy Impala Wagon Edition

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After occupying this timeslot in the Hooniverse Monday morning schedule for nearly the past two years, Encyclopedia Hoonatica is being put on indefinite hiatus. Instead, I am resurrecting the much-loved Classic Captions series that was previously presented by former Hooniverse contributor Jim Brennan (aka UDMan). When our migration to the Disqus comment engine led to the Great Comment Massacre of ’15, Jim abruptly chose to retire the series after 164 fun-filled posts. Well, enough time has passed that I’ve decided to pick up the Classic Captions mantle and start anew. Encyclopedia Hoonatica may return as a regularly-scheduled feature at some point in the future. Or, it may not. (We’re here to cater to your motortainment needs and wants, so feel free to share your opinion on this change below.)

If you don’t know how the Hooniverse Classic Caption Contest works, each week I will feature an image that was once used in automotive print advertising, dealer displays, or brochures. It is your job to provide a humorous caption in the comments section that is some how tied in with the image. The following week, I will declare a winning comment, based on comment upvote totals — or perhaps my own totally inexplicable disregard for public opinion, if I should feel particularly arbitrary and dictatorial on a given week.

Since many of you are new to this, and even the long-time regulars are probably feeling a bit rusty, this week I’ve chosen an illustration of a 1962 Chevrolet Impala station wagon parked on a snow-covered shore and surrounded by SCUBA-equipped divers. It’s a slightly absurd choice for a car ad, and such an unusual scenario that some clever reactions should quickly come to mind.

False Neutral #12: Best Bikes For Your Buck, Part 2

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In this continuation of last week’s sesson, we talk about what good (and not so good) values are to be found at the high end of the motorcycle market, both new and used. Our picks encompass standard street bikes, adventure (and faux adventure) bikes, sport tourers and even three-wheelers, somewhat unexpectedly nominated not by Spyder owner Pete but by Garrett.


False Neutral – The Best Bikes For Your Buck, Part 2

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The Suzuki Kizashi One Year On: Still Honeymooning

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One year ago today, I took delivery of my 2011 Suzuki Kizashi GTS Sport 6-speed. It was a somewhat obscure and esoteric choice, especially since Suzuki had stopped importing automobiles to the United States. I did have a tiny bit of trepidation about what ownership would entail, but I also felt strongly that this was the right car for me. Fortunately, our first year together has been nothing but enjoyable. Nope, it’s not perfect. No car is, however, and this one is damn good — good enough to still put a smile on my face every time climb in and start the engine.

Okay, let’s be realistic. Nobody is going to go from a V12 Vantage to the Kizashi and be impressed. Likewise, if you’re used to Porsches or even Acuras, Suzuki’s flagship will seem exceedingly ordinary. But consider that I purchased my rare-as-unicorn-poop 6MT in damn-near showroom condition with less than 28,000 miles on the clock for under $12,000 OTD. When you consider the other options for a reliable daily driver available in that price range, the bang for the buck makes this car impressive.

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