Review: 2017 Nissan TITAN Platinum Reserve 4×4


Nissan’s original Titan, which I am familiar with because we used it as tow vehicle for our crap can racer, was a decent truck. It was a slightly scaled-down half-ton like the original Tundra. There was nothing wrong with it, just as there was nothing outstanding or special about it. It always was rather generic and remained that way through its twelve year life. This ordinary is perhaps best reflected in its combined 471,242 U.S. sales. That is much less than Ford’s annual average F-150 sales over that same time period.

The all-new 2017 Titan half-ton has a lot of room for sales improvement which is best achieved through innovation and originality. It started off well with the bigger Titan XD and its turbo-diesel Cummins V8. With it Nissan could have made not only a new half-ton pickup but they could have made a better pickup, a different pickup.

But Nissan didn’t.

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Paddock of 24 Hours of Lemons GP du Lac Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

thompson 2016 24 hours of lemons paddock

The 24 Hours of Lemons GP du Lac Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is history, and it was a hot one. More on our crappy performance later, as I am short on time now.

I am really short on time, so much so that I don’t even have the time to write anything. So, why don’t you just look at a whole bunch of random pictures I took on the paddock. Yes, that Golf is a modern homemade Golf Country 4×4 using OEM parts and it’s spectacular. Yes, that Pinto Cruising Wagon was dreamy. And yes, that GM PD-4106 was perfect.

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Wagon Wednesday: 2014 Cadillac CTS-V Sport Wagon

Kamil Kaluski August 10, 2016 All Things Hoon

cadillac cts-v sport wagon side 2014
When it comes to modern station wagons, the Cadillac CTS-V Sports Wagon and the Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG are the two most coveted ones. Both have powerful V8 engines that send their power to the rear wheels. Both handle and stop like proper sports cars but add the functionality of a long roof. Unfortunately we, as the American car buying public, have given up on station wagons. I will predict that some day wagons will once again become popular, but in the mean time we are all about cross-overs. Sad.

The good thing is that of the several hundred CTS-V Sport Wagons that were built, one is now on eBay. 556 horsepower, optional Recaro seats, Magnetic Ride Control, Brembo brakes, 19-inch wheels, it’s all there. If there is a downside is that it is equipped with the less desirable, but arguably better, automatic transmission.

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Craigslist: 2004 Chevy Impala Crapcan Racer

Impala Lemons front side

In its four years of racing our Buick has earned some respect from the other idiots doing this idiotic “racing” thing. In a race series were some cars don’t last a full race, or even fail to start at all, nine races on the same chassis is pretty unprecedented. Perhaps that is why in each race I see more and more GM’s W platform cars. They are relatively big, which makes them safe, they are cheap to buy and repair, and they are pretty quick.

Posted on northern New Jersey’s Craigslist is this ’04 Chevy Impala. It’s an Impala I know fairly well as I have raced against it and I know one of the people who used to race it – hi, Wayne! But there is something more interesting about this ad than just a description of crapcan racer and the sum of its parts.

Thanks for the tip, Howie!

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24 Hours of Lemons: The Buick Shall Race Again!!

Hoon buick thompson 2016

The 24 Hours of Lemons GP du Lac Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is this weekend! The Buick will be racing again, in its tenth (I think) race.  The race is at Thompson Speedway Motorsports Park, which is cleverly named after Thompson, Connectthedots, where it is located.

As usual before each race we have made a ton of changes and improvements to the car…

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Truck Thursday: Saab 9-3 Flatbed Car Hauler

saab tow truck flat bed

Caroftheday.com is a new website that can best be described a competitor to bring-a-trailer. The site features a different car, or two, each day. They feature the typical weird, rare, interesting, and obscure cars that we all love. Today COTD featured this Saab 9-3 that was converted into a six-wheel flatbed car hauler.

When we think of converting a car into flatbed hauler we can’t think of a better vehicle than the Saab 9-3, because Saab is the answer to everything. Unfortunately this ad omits several key features of the vehicle, such as everything. Seriously, this is the worst eBay ad ever. There only this one picture and no description. Too bad, because we have so many questions.

ADAC Shows How Cars with Keyless Entry Systems are Stolen

Kamil Kaluski August 4, 2016 The News!

ADAC (Allgemeiner Deutscher Automobil-Club e.V.), the German automobile club, created a simple video that shows how cars with keyless ignition system are, or can be, stolen. The video says that the thieves use a laptop computer as a range extender to the key. They show an example of how the thieves are able to break into someone’s home, get the signal from a key that is some distance away, inside the house, and fool the car into thinking that the key is inside of the car.

The auto club used the same tactic to “steal” the car of unsuspecting cafe goers. The club further states that they were able to access twenty cars made by twelve different manufactures that the club was evaluating at the time using this method. The club stops short of saying specifically which automakers are prone to this type of theft. Former Hoon contributor Bozi Tatarević, recommends”storing your proximity key fob in a small Faraday cage-type pouch to reduce the risk of theft.” Or you can just, you know, drive something old and cool.


My Summer Car – Games That Make You Go Hmmm

Our, formerly, own Eric Rood sent this in.

I watched it.

I had no idea what I watched.

So I asked him.

He answered.

It’s a video game where you ostensibly build a Datsun Cherry over the course of the summer of 1995 in Finland, but mostly you just fuck around drinking beer. It’s like a hyper-realistic car guy simulation where you have to assemble the POS from a bunch of parts in your garage.

Well, there you have it.

1996 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme is Wide and Turbo

Oldsmobile turbo front

The world of tacky add-ons and bolt-on crap can turn any decent vehicle into a cheesemobile that even the Jersiest Jersey shore bros would find offensive. But here is this old Oldsmobile, a vehicle that I thought was always kind of cool looking, with a ton of this crap added on and I… kind of like it. Dare I say, with a few minor changes, I may even love it.

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Mustang GT350 Inflamed on Track

Kamil Kaluski August 1, 2016 Motorsports

ford mustang gt350 fire

Interesting story found on the book of faces about a man, his Mustang GT350, a track day, and fire. The below is not affiliated with Hooniverse, we’re just passing it along.

It was the last session of the day, I had no idea it would come so close to being my last session ever…

On April 30, 2016 I was running a track event in my 2016 GT350 Mustang at Roebling Road. Being my second track event in the car I was slowly gaining confidence in the car and more especially myself. This was the most capable car I had ever driven on track and she was fast. I spent most of the day creeping up on my abilities behind the wheel and was nowhere near the capabilities of the car.

The forecast was hot and muggy so the organizers of the event announced that drivers of streetcars wouldn’t have to wear long pants. So I wore my standard everyday shorts and t-shirt along with my helmet and gloves.

I had been on the track about 15 minutes of the last session when I experienced a catastrophic engine component failure. This caused a massive oil leak. The oil ignited on the exhaust. If this wasn’t bad enough, the oil fire caused the main fuel line to rupture. At this point, the bottom of the car was fully engulfed. The fireball was two lanes wide and trailed behind the car at least 25’.

I had just exited the last turn onto the front straight when all hell broke loose. I was following a BMW and had just been given a “point by” to pass. I checked my mirrors and initiated the pass. As I’m accelerating pass the “yielding” BMW I was able to go from 3rd gear into 4th gear. This would have me running 125ish MPH as I was about to merge back in front of him. When I checked my mirrors again I saw the large fireball.

My first reaction was “Oh no, what’s happened to the BMW?!?”. Before I could even finish that thought I realized that the flames were coming from me. My very next thought was “Oh fuck, I’m on fire.” I knew I needed to get off the track, but the pit wall was to my right and the “racing line” and other fast cars were on my left. I lifted and started trying to slow the car down.

The heat from the flames must have been very intense as the brake fluid boiled and the brake pedal went to the floor. So now I’m still running 100+ MPH on fire with no brakes. By now I’m past the pit wall and I’ve made my way on to the grass running along side the track.

Continue reading HiPo Joe’s Charles’s post on Facebook.


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