The Park Bench Racing Team (PBRT) will be back in action this May at the The Real Hoopties of New Jersey race taking place at New Jersey Motorsports Park in Milli-Vanilli-ville, New Joyzee. Our continually evolving and always improving ’02 Buick Regal “race car” is the same it has always been, because it’s difficult to improve on perfection. We therefore expect the same perfect mediocre performance and promising but always somewhat disappointing, at least trophy-free, result.
Our team captain is the awesome guy named Andy, who you’d know only if you ever met him. He’s got his shit together and really runs the team. Then there is Rafal, our fastest driver, who is very handy and quickly solves our constant problems, but best communicates with his hands and grunting noises. Then there is me, the guy who takes pictures and bribes the judges with food. A new addition to the team for this race is rookie George Kennedy who is an automotive journalist (Boston Globe, Boldride, Autoblog, US News, CarGurus, etc), which means he will probably be a shity driver and bound to make a visit or ten to the penalty box.