Mystery Car

Robert Emslie November 27, 2015 Mystery Car


Today is my birthday. Yay, happy birthday to me. It’s actually you who will be getting a present however, in the form of a clue as to the identity of this week’s Mystery Car. That is that, yes it is one of the several hundred to grace the show floor at this year’s Los Angeles Auto Show. There’s also a gift receipt in the bag in case you want to exchange it. Good luck!

Image: ©2015 Hooniverse/Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

Hooniverse Asks: What Was the Last Console-Less Car?

Robert Emslie November 27, 2015 Hooniverse Asks


Hey there Hoons. Today is Black Friday and part of the Thanksgiving weekend so we’re going to have an extremely light schedule on the site. Since you’re reading this however, it’s likely that you’ve either already returned from your holiday shopping soirée or, more likely are eschewing leaving the house altogether today. That being the case, let’s do a little historical research, shall we?

You know, one of the primary purposes of a FWD drivetrain in a car is the packaging. It allows for a larger passenger compartment in an appreciably more compact size. Part of that is afforded by the lack of need for a transmission tunnel bisecting the interior. Some FWD cars have had completely flat floors. The 1988 Mercury Sable above is an example of a FWD car with only a modest hump, one that’s easily traversed should you need to slide over to the opposite window for a moment or whatever. As it’s a column shift it also lacks any form of console between the seats. Now, compare that to its modern analog, the current Ford Taurus. I know, it’s like going from a bandeau bikini top to a turtle neck?

There are lots of reasons why cars have seemingly all gone to seats split by a massive console – the popularity of floor shifters, available AWD, and the need to properly position passengers for the airbags among them. That’s all well and good, but it got me thinking, when did we lose the foot freedom we once had, and what was the last car to give up the fight? So, if you don’t have anything better to do today – football? pfffft – then let’s go on a hunt and see if we can track down the last car to offer a flat – or nearly flat floor. Are there any still being produced, or when did they last give up the fight?

Image: Spokane Craigslist

Last Call: Thankful for Excess Edition

Robert Emslie November 25, 2015 Last Call


If you live by the mantra that too much is never enough then this ’70s ad from Dunlop Tires will certainly resonate. The bike was (sadly) non-functional, but was made up of 12 conjoined 1,000-cc V-twins arranged somehow in a W configuration. I think it’s brilliant and I’m totally jonesing over those big-bore SU carbs. What I’m thankful for this year is that there are people out there willing to take a step beyond rational thinking, actually creating crazy rides like the one only imagined in this ad.

What are you thankful for this year, Hoons?

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged. 

Image: Silodrome

Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. 

There are cars and trucks that – sadly – are made of unobtainium. The reason is usually financial, however those situations often change allowing what was once out of reach to suddenly move to within our grasp. Last week we looked at the cars that you all pined for but couldn’t afford quite yet. We’ll compare and contrast in a sec, but first let’s ruffle some feathers.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., or as those of us who are typically hungry-hungry hippos like to call it, Turkey Day. That’s our traditional bird but there are many more that have been honored not with a day, but with a car or truck. That’s what we want this week – bird-named vehicles – especially ones that look like incredible deals. That way you could possibly, you know, flip the bird.

As always, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Since we’ve changed commenting systems, you may need to update your commenter account. Make sure you have a Disqus account – they’re free and easy to get – and then comment away.

Got that? Good, now let’s look at your aspirations and dreams.

… Continue Reading

Hooniverse Asks: What’s the Coolest Automotive Hidden Feature?

Robert Emslie November 25, 2015 Hooniverse Asks

Chevy Gas Cap

I always loved how the Bat Cave was accessed by a hidden switch under a sculpted head. In fact, I love all kinds of hidden features. That’s probably why I like the video games where you can shimmy shimmy cocoa puff around the map to find secrets squirreled away.

Cars too have hidden features. I’ve given one of the m away with the image above, which shows just how the hell you fill up your fifty-five Chevy. Others include umbrellas in Roll Royce doors and the wiper switch on damn-near every Italian car ever built, mama mia!

Today we want to catalog all the cool hidden features on cars and ask your opinion as to which one is the coolest. What do you think, what is the neatest car feature ever to play hide and seek?

Image: SuperChevy

Last Call: Another Sign of the Apocalypse Edition

Robert Emslie November 24, 2015 Last Call

texting sign

Look, I appreciate the street signs warning of ‘Slow Children’ after all, its the fast kids that are the real challenge. However, warning drivers of texting pedestrians is going a little too far. After all, isn’t inattentiveness a genetic trait? What better way to improve the gene pool! Just kidding, don’t hit anybody with your car, even if they appear to be dumb.

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged. 

Image: Imgur

Track Tuesday: Name That Track

Robert Emslie November 24, 2015 Track Tuesday

Screen Shot 2015-11-19 at 11.01.41 AM

Welcome to Track Tuesday where you are asked to identify a (maybe) famous race or test track from just one closely-cropped aerial image. This week, it’s a big blue pill! Good luck!

Image: ©2015 Hooniverse/Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

Exotic Expense: What Does it Cost to Drive a Used Gallardo?

Robert Emslie November 24, 2015 Hoonivercinema

Screen Shot 2015-11-23 at 7.38.36 PM

YouTuber Vehicle Virgins is both 21 years old and the owner of a 2004 Lamborghini Gallardo. Before you envision pissing in his OJ for those two seemingly incompatible facts have a look at his explanation of what that ownership actually costs. Spoiler alert, it’s really, really, really expensive. It is in fact a rather mature look at something most of us can only dream about as a route to the poorhouse. Be thankful you drive a cheap shitbox right after the jump. … Continue Reading

Hooniverse Asks: What Car Song Has The Least Car Savvy Lyrics?

Robert Emslie November 24, 2015 Hooniverse Asks


The Beach Boys released the single, Little Deuce Coupe in the fall of 1963. That ode to a hot rod stayed on the charts for an amazing 46 weeks and to this day remains one of the most accurate descriptions of a car, in song, ever recorded.

That of course makes it the antithesis of what we’re looking for today. Brian Wilson may have had a remarkable ear and an amazing affinity for accuracy in his car songs, but few other have been so exacting. That’s what we what to discuss today, your opinion on what are the least savvy car song lyrics – those from song writers who most obviously take the bus.

Image: eBay

Last Call: Hey Bulldog Edition

Robert Emslie November 23, 2015 Last Call

Screen Shot 2015-11-21 at 2.35.15 PM

You know there’s nothing better than sharing a favorite song with a good friend while on a road trip. It’s even better when the friend knows all the best parts. … Continue Reading


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