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Hooniverse goes to PRI 2015

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Hi, I’m Eric Rood. You may remember me from such Hooniverse articles as “America is Just Swell,” “America is Still Just Swell,” and “Beef Casserole Doesn’t Taste Any Better Than It Looks, Sounds, or Smells.” I’m here today to explain to you the wonders of the Performance Racing Industry Show in Indianapolis, which I attended a month ago by renewing my Hooniverse media credentials and making some vague half-promise to Jeff Glucker to write about it for the site.

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HCOTY: Spark-Renault SRT_01E Formula E car

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Look, race cars are not popular with even the general auto enthusiast public and this one is perhaps even less popular than most. In my own head, I imagine this akin to Time Magazine nominating divisive or antagonistic People of the Year not because I dislike the Spark-Renault SRT_01. Rather, I see it as an object of poignant reflection on motorsports’ present and future.

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A Hooniverse swan song: Matching your lifestyle with the right Eagle

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This is a long overdue post and a tough one to write. Literally, it’s been difficult to write; I’ve started and revised it dozens of times. Also, notice that I didn’t say “story” or “report.” It’s a post and probably not a very good one and…

Look, I’m just here to say that I very recently accepted an offer to write elsewhere and, at least for me here and now on Hooniverse, things are just like Jeff Beck sang: “This is the end.”

That said, of all the hundreds of things I’ve written here in the last two years, my favorite by far was the Ford Tempo Buyer’s Guide in 2013 and I’ve always meant to follow that up. I struggled to figure out what completely unwanted car should be next and I eventually settled on the full line of Eagle, the orphaned brand caught between the worlds of failing American Motors Corporation and their pseudo-saviors at Chrysler. Follow the jump for the only guide you’ll ever need to buying an Eagle product.

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Rotten Rental [Van] Review: 2015 Ford Transit 250

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I’m going to keep this as short as I can since I only spent a bit over an hour driving this van and I don’t want to spend any more time writing this than I did driving it. So here goes: My sister lives in Chicago about 25 minutes from the Home of the Magnum. She and her husband used to live in Madison while she was going to grad school and I crashed at their place on several occasions, usually to catch a good rock show. When I stayed there, I was grateful for their trusty red couch, a cheap-but-impossibly-comfortable piece of furniture that put people to sleep on it faster and more thoroughly than three shots of Nyquil and a Netflix streaming queue filled with all nine (!) season of According to Jim.

Several years ago, my wife remarked that she’d like to have that couch if it were ever replaced and when my sister told me last week that it was marked for replacement, I immediately said yes. Visions of Sunday afternoon naps sprawled out on the now-a-bit-dingy couch are undeniable. Lacking the time to borrow a truck, I instead rented a van from the local rentalry. I had thought nothing of it and figured I’d get a run-of-the-mill Econoline, but I was excited to be greeted instead by a low-mileage Ford Transit 250.

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Motorsports Weekend Guide: August 28 to August 30

Eric Rood August 27, 2015 Motorsports

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Welcome to your Thursday look ahead to the weekend in racing. It’s a big weekend, as usual. IndyCar wraps up their season in California with heavy hearts while Europe hosts two raging championships. It’s also the weekend where American stock cars go completely bonkers on road courses for the final time this season. Follow the jump for more.

Pro tip: Keep this page open all weekend or bookmark so you have all the resources handy. Want more information on a series mentioned below? Click here for Hooniverse’s Massively Oversized Guide to Motorsports 2015, which will tell you all you need to know (and then some).

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CraigsList: Buy this GM Value Van for just 33 million Vietnamese Dong!

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That converts to $1,500 U.S., by the way, and I doubt the seller accepts dong. You can pick the 350-powered 1967 GM Value Van up in Ottawa, Illinois, just a couple hundred feet from the local adult bookstore and gentleman’s club. Click here if/when the ad disappears; here’s the full ad text:

“It used to be a vendor wagon it dont have none of the stuff left inside i think there is a hot dog roller from Wrigley field that i purchased 2 years ago when they upgraded. it has a great running 350 in it. fires up first turn every time even in the winter. Would be a great service truck. 1500 obo no trades cash only.”

 

[Source: Chicago CraigsList]

Bulgarian ‘racetrack’ was FIA safety apoplexy version of ‘Where’s Waldo?’

Eric Rood August 20, 2015 Motorsports

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The Bulgarian Touring Car Championship was a short-lived race series in, as you may guess, the country of Bulgaria. As you may also guess, Bulgaria is a country that is a bit short on racetracks, having only Race Track Dracon, a fittingly austere circuit. So how does a race series exist in a country with no racetracks? Why, you make one out of the streets of a city like Veliko Tarnovo. Follow the jump for video of the race from onboard Atanas Bozhilov, Jr.’s (aka The Other Junior) Toyota Yaris, as most of the cars look to be B-segment hatchbacks.

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Motorsports Weekend Guide: August 21 to August 23

Eric Rood August 20, 2015 Motorsports

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It’s Thursday and that means a look ahead to the weekend in racing all around the world here on Hooniverse. One of my absolute favorite races is this weekend at a tiny, oft-forgotten Welsh racing circuit while the big-dollar series both here in the U.S. and abroad will be racing (much, much) faster cars at more profoundly famous tracks. After a couple of relative duds the last two weekends, the next few days are packed full of open-wheel, stock car, sports car, vintage, off-road, stage rally, drag, and sideways racing. Follow the yump for all the details on who, what, where, when, and how (to follow).

Pro tip: Keep this page open all weekend or bookmark so you have all the resources handy. Want more information on a series mentioned below? Click here for Hooniverse’s Massively Oversized Guide to Motorsports 2015, which will tell you all you need to know (and then some).

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Motorsports Weekend Guide: August 14 to August 16

Eric Rood August 13, 2015 Motorsports

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Welcome to the opening paragraph of this weekly post, which I’m trying to cut as short as possible so I can go outside to see what little I can of the Perseids meteor shower from my light-polluted suburban abode. This weekend: About $800 Bajillion in racecars make people wince a lot, two wheels still good, and total stock car overload. Read more after the jump.

Pro tip: Keep this page open all weekend or bookmark so you have all the resources handy. Want more information on a series mentioned below? Click here for Hooniverse’s Massively Oversized Guide to Motorsports 2015, which will tell you all you need to know (and then some).

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Project Regretmobile Dodge Magnum, Part 1: An elegy for sensibility

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This is Kevin. Kevin doesn’t know why he’s agreed to help me.

I am not a smart man.

We must get that out of the way here because it will make understanding the rest of this story so much easier. This is going to be a long build story about me, Eric Rood—a complete idiot whose mushy brain is filled almost entirely with Bad Ideas—and my struggles with building a $200 1979 Dodge Magnum XE to race in the 24 Hours of LeMons. Naturally, I’m already two months behind on telling the story of this Personal Luxury Coupe.

This Last of the B-Bodies.

This Malaise Era Mopar Orphan (Mop-phan).

This rusting 3,900-pound albatross.

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