So. That was interesting, wasn’t it? What on earth do we do about this? … Continue Reading
We have a sad announcement to make from behind the scenes at the Hooniverse-Atomic Toasters Galactic Central Command. We have lost one of our own. One of the original group of commenters who followed us here to our new corner of the internet, back when we first started Hooniverse so many years ago, has passed away at a very young age.
You know, if you had asked me to predict this year’s winner, I can honestly say I would not have guessed correctly. I may have had my hopes, but I would certainly not have guessed it. With all the flashiness, the show, the look-at-me attention-grabbing of most of the other nominations, I would not have guessed that the most Hooniverse of all the nominations would actually take home the
green participation ribbon coveted trophy.
2014 has been, if anything, a confused year in the automotive industry. If anything, we have not so much lost our way, as we have found a few dozen others. The path before us, as automotive enthusiasts, is so splintered that we’re not quite sure what the future truly holds.
It’s that time of year again.
Actually, it’s slightly after that time of year, but in true Hooniverse fashion, this is happening right on the bleeding edge of whenever-we-get-around-to-it. But now that we finally have, it’s time to start this year’s round of nominees for the Hooniversal Car of the Year!
Today is an historic day indeed. After a hard-fought battle across multiple social media outlets, with campaigners and complainers alike making their cases loud and long to anyone who would listen, the polls closed last night as we all cried “Happy New Year”. Well, as we on the West Coast cried it, and the East-Coasties were crying “Happy 3AM”, but you get the idea.
And, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, it can safely be announced that we have a tie. When the polls closed at midnight, we had received exactly the same number of votes for SpeedyCop’s Spirit of LeMons and for the Worst Car in the World. I’m disappointed in all of you.
As such, I’m arbitrarily disqualifying everyone except the Bricklin. Hooray!
No? Sigh. Fine then. It is a tie, and for the first — and hopefully only, because we never came up with any rules about what to do in the event of a tie — time, there are two Hooniversal Cars of the Year. I thought we should make the owners battle to the death in a giant vat of pudding, but I believe that would put poor SpeedyCop up against a disturbingly-large K-Car Horde. We need a name for them. They remind me of juggalos.
Unfortunately, there is only one Participant Ribbon Exotic HCoTY Trophy, and when I tried tearing the ribbon trophy in half, it disintegrated into a handful of green threads and gold sparkles. So congratulations to each of you, enjoy your handful of shredded remnants shared trophy!
For everyone who voted… I hope you’re proud of yourselves. Now go to your rooms.
It’s been a busy year for the Hooniversal Car of the Year. We’ve had multiple nominees squeaking in at the last minute, including my own. We’ve had delays by spotty internet, busy work schedules, and dogs eating homework. All of these problems can be blamed on Glucker, and so they shall be. Everyone, point your fingers Gluckerwards, and give him frowny-faces of disapproval.
Okay, he wasn’t actually responsible, but on this side of the fence, it’s his fault anyhow.
If you haven’t already, you really must go back and read through the various nominations. The field is action-packed this year, and even features multiple malaise-era entries to keep the LeMons judges naughty-bits positively a-tingly. And a Subaru! With any luck, that will be the first, last and only time a Subaru ever gets nominated in HCoTY.
Here’s a run-down of the candidates, in case you missed them:
When I came up with HCOTY many, many moons ago, my goal was to give the award to a car that embodies the spirit of Hooniverse. Not necessarily the best in automotive engineering; not necessarily the most beautiful; not necessarily the best to drive, or the most luxurious, or the most comfortable. I wanted the award to go to the car that embodies the genuine love of automobilia that caused us to start the site in the first place.
My nominee this year, then, is the most perfect candidate I could possibly come up with, because it fits all those qualifications to a tee. It is not beautiful, it is not great to drive, it is not particularly luxurious nor comfortable (mmm, velour!), and it is absolutely not well-engineered. And after an hour with it, you’d never be able to choose another nominee.