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The Best Guy on Craigslist: Packards, Hudsons, Lincolns and a Trio of Fieros

A couple weeks back I started what was supposed to be a trio of posts about The Best Guy on Craigslist with a quartet of Imperials and a pile of big-engine Caddies, but before the third post could run all of his ads disappeared. Now that they’re back, I figured I’ll highlight everything this guy has to offer, rather than rope you along. In totality, this guy’s collection/accumulation/hoard/junkyard is in pretty sorry shape (as many of you noted on the previous posts). However, if you look past the dirt and grime, there are a number of great powertrains to be donated or LeMons/low-budget builds to be made. Hit the jump for a collection of (what used to be) classy, heavy hitters

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The Citroën to End all Citroëns? 5 Door CX 25 GTI Turbo 2

Tim Odell September 25, 2014 For Sale, Terrible Ideas

1988 citroen cx gti turbo 2 for saleWhen visiting Hanzel’s Auto Body Works for Seconds Saturdays, I make a point to marvel in the inherent weirdness of Citroëns. Leaving aside questions of actual performance, they’re designed so completely differently from their contemporaries. Adding to the baseline of that weirdness, today’s example is so rare it shouldn’t exist. Made at a time of waning sales late in it’s model run, the CX Series 2 Turbo was the ultimate top of the line. This example routes all 168 horsepower through a manual gearbox, and the gauge cluster tells us it’s an actual US model. Atop that pyramid of incroyable, it’s in Michigan with nearly no rust and a decent price.

1988 citroen cx gti turbo 2 for sale (1)1988 citroen cx gti turbo 2 for sale (3)1988 citroen cx gti turbo 2 for sale (4)

Rest assured, it needs work. The wiring is doing that thing that 80s European car wiring does, leading to weird nonfunctional circuits despite seemingly good connections. Pretty sure Painless doesn’t have a kit for this a Citroën CX, so plan on doing some interesting debugging (though you could use a universal harness to do the whole car). The front seats have been swapped for something, but look fine and would only be an issue for a purist.

At the current bid of $2,125, you’d be stealing it. While nowhere near as sportif, the this thing’s as rare and example of cool engineering as an UR-Quattro or early BMW turbo or M car. What’s it worth?

1988 Citroën CX 25 GTi Turbo 2 for sale – eBay Motors

Does it Get More Early 80s Than an EXP?

1983 ford exp for saleLate Malaise Era Ford earns points in my book for trying a bit of everything. They milked the ancient Falcon chassis all the way out to 1980 while simultaneously giving us the Fox and Panther platforms and threw the 2.3L turbo all over the place. With neither Henry the II or Iaccoca to lead, things got a bit wacky. The sporty-ish 2-seat EXP was apparently designed with stylish, childless singles or couples of early 80s in mind, though it’s hard to imagine the prototypical yuppies taking it seriously. That front end is giving me a some bad feels, man.

1983 ford exp for sale (1)1983 ford exp for sale (3)1983 ford exp for sale (4)

Today’s example deserves a serious look from anyone looking to pick up a relatively cheap sporty(ish) car that only car geeks can identify. Reserve’s already met at a little over a grand. There’s already one in LeMons, campaigned by the RUN EXP team, so at the least you’d need to come up with a new theme. They’re mechanically identical to all other first-generation Escorts, so parts are still available for cheap, possibly even an Escort Turbo swap is in order? Then again, this one’s got only 41,000 miles, and is said to be in near-pristine condition inside, with recent mechanical service. Tempting…

1983 Ford EXP (Escort) for sale – eBay Motors

Inboard Brakes, Lucas Electronics and Fiberglass Damage, Oh My!

Tim Odell September 23, 2014 eBay Insanity, For Sale

1977 lotus elite for sale

97% of the world’s Lotus Elites are in hopeless project condition in the back lot of some shop/tow yard that has no idea what they are. I might’ve made that statistic up, but it can’t be far from the truth. Perhaps they’re acquired in hopes of scoring a chassis in which to drop a big-block, powerglide and nine inch into; when the futility of doing so in a fiberglass “backbone” chassis car becomes apparent, well…it sits.

1977 lotus elite for sale (2)1977 lotus elite for sale (3)

This one doesn’t look too hopeless, with minor front fiberglass damage (from towing, no less). According to the seller the engine “appears to be rebuilt internally”, which really raises more questions than answers. The seller spends most of their description focusing on cosmetic details like trim or the interior. We can take this to mean the car’s not a hopeless pile of congealed fluids that needs everything or, well, that it is.  At least it has all four aluminum wheels and maybe a fifth one to be found somewhere! (?)

$850 with no reserve! Auction ends this evening!

1977 Lotus Elite for sale – eBay Motors

Submit Wrenching Tips/Garage Hacks, Win Money and Hooniverse Bragging Points

Tim Odell September 18, 2014 All Things Hoon

garage hacks

Who here is has some cool DIY tricks and could use $500? Like, all of you, right? Through the month of September Valvoline is taking submissions for “Garage Hacks”, basically little tips/tricks that you use to make DIY wrenching go better. Sound familiar? In fact, I already submitted my previous wrenching tips like putting wrenches on carabiners or writing the date/mileage of an oil change on your filter.

The, ahem, mechanics are as follows: take a picture and add a short blurb describing your “hack” and post it on facebook, twitter or instagram (@valvoline) with the #GarageHacks tag. The best submission each week gets a $500 gift card. Take a look at the submissions here. Knowing you guys, I fully expect a Hooniverse readers to put the existing submissions to shame.

So much so, that I’ve already got some Valvoline swag to giveaway for a submission from here. If you submit something, post a link to it in the comments here. Highest voted comment here gets a hat, shirt, and an unexpectedly cool wooden box.

[So yeah, if it seems like we're participating in a social media marketing campaign, that's because we are. There's some more cool stuff coming up because of it, and compared to all the nonsense that comes across our inboxes this is right up our collective alley. Certainly better than some alternatives... - Ed]

The Best Guy on Craigslist, Part 2: Four Early-’80s Imperials for $2000

1981 chrysler imperial for sale

Unfortunately for me, I’m resigned to believe that a solid-axle, rear-wheel-drive Detroit V8 powered car can only be so bad. I’m just a notch too young to have experienced the contrast between a humble but reliable late-70s Honda and a corpulent, shoddily assembled contemporary Buick. With that in mind, The Best Guy on Craigslist’s fleet of 4 Imperials for $2,000 seems like a recipe for an incredibly successful and classy LeMons squad.

While the early and late cars spring to mind most quickly, we must remember the Imperial name graced the graced one of Chrysler’s last RWD cars until recent times. Sharing a platform with the Dodge Monaco and (non-Corinthian) Chrysler Cordoba, the early-80s Imperial came with a TBI’ed 318 V8, 904 transmission and a ton of cheesy early-80s luxury touches like fake crystal and over-padded velour seats.

While these seem to be run-of-the-mill Imperials, a good theme might be to construct one into each version of the special editions they were available in, most notably the Frank Sinatra SE, which came with a box set of 16 Sinatra tapes.

Check out all the slant-nose glory right here: Four 1981-83 Chrysler Imperials for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

We’ve got one more post from this seller, but that’ll have to wait for Thursday…

The Best Guy on Craigslist, Part 1: 1472ci worth of Cadillacs for $1600

1976 cadillac eldorado for sale

Yours truly, fellow Hoon Eric Rood and Murilee Martin aka Judge Phil spent the weekend sweating our undersides off dispensing justice at the World Record Setting* Vodden The Hell are We Doing 24 Hours of LeMons at Thunderhill Raceway, which means I’ve got LeMons on the brain. Scheming some ideas for ridiculous LeMons cars, my mind circled in on using the Cadillac FWD architecture of a massive V8 mounted longitudinally over a mutant TH400 transmission with CV shafts exiting east-west. Uncovering a pair of Eldorados on craigslist was just the tip of the LeMony iceberg. Noticing the cars in the background, searching the seller’s phone number uncovered a septic tank treasure trove too awesome to be contained in one post.

To lead off, we’ve got a fleet of Fleetwoods Eldorados for a distressingly low price. The Seller has a pair of ’76 Eldos in one Craigslist ad, with a ’69 in another. the ’76s are 500ci-equipped convertibles, while the ’69 is a 472ci hardtop. Don’t let the displacement fool you, the smaller ’69 is definitely the most potent of the trio, but the low-compression ’76s could be freed of their emissions controls and still deliver torque by the ton at the low end. Those low compression lumps will run on our crappy California gas without begging for octane booster. Besides, the lower CR leaves open the possibility of running some mild turbocharging for an even more ridiculous setup.

Oh yeah, that ridiculous setup…I know the Scrubbing Bubbles VW is looking for a new home. If not “Scrubby”, a VW Van probably provides ample room to nestle that powerplant in the rear. Not to impugn the 70 year old Volkswagen design, but maybe something more recent like an Astro Van would work better. Or (duh) you could just run them in their FWD Boss Hoggian drop-drop glory!

Pair of 1976 Cadillac Eldorado Convertibles for sale – SF Bay Craigslist
1969 Cadillac Eldorado Convertible for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

Tune in later for 2 more posts of awesomeness from the same seller…

*pending Guinness certification, which might take nearly forever.

“SCARY Porsche 914″ Seller Wins Honest eBayer of the Week Award

1974 porsche 914 for saleThe Art of the Sale is putting a positive spin on every aspect of your ware. Rusted out? Pre-lightened! Seized motor? Great LSXFTW swap candidate! and so on, to the point no one takes you seriously. This seller does the opposite, almost daring you to pick up this car, as it’s so horrible:

THIS CAR HAS BEEN HIT MORE TIMES THAN MIKE TYSON , IT HAS MORE MILES ON IT THAN THE SPACE SHUTTLE , THE GLASS HAS VERICOSE VEINS , ITS ON CHEMO THERAPY FOR METASTASIZED CANCER , IT HAS SEVERAL HUNDRED MUD DOBBERS AND YELLOW JACKETS LIVING IN IT AS WELL AS A COUPLE OF SNAKES THAT ARE GETTING FAT ON ALL THE FIELD MICE THAT LIVE IN IT. IF YOU BUY THIS CAR AND PUT IT IN YOUR SHOP , THE NEXT MORNING YOU WILL EXPERIENCE WILD KINGDOM

1974 porsche 914 for sale (1)1974 porsche 914 for sale (3)

So…a typical sub-$1000 Porsche 914, then? In all honesty, it looks like it’d make a great LeMons car or first car for your least favorite kid (why no both?!)

$960, auction ends Friday: 1974 Porsche 914 – eBay Motors

You Could Do a Lot Worse than this 1987 Fiero GT

1987 pontiac fiero gt for sale I’m curious what cars my kids will think are awesome classics. “Fearful” might be the more accurate adjective, given how uncool my dad finds the station wagons I love so much. If I hear a post-millennial kid talking about a “sweet classic Fiero”, I could probably wrap my head around it if it’s as cool as today’s example. This 1987 Fiero GT sports a 2.8L V6, manual transmission and aftermarket digital dash conversion. It’s nearly as 1987 as you can get (still a little short on neon accents).

1987 fiero gt for sale (1)1987 fiero gt for sale (3)

The car has 114k miles, but received a remanufactured motor from Jasper about 20k ago and 15 years ago. He drives it 600 miles from Pittsburgh once a week, which is nothing to sneeze at in a 27 year old orphan GM vehicle. I’ll admit to having never driven a Fiero, so I can’t comment on whether the Citation suspension this ’87 sports is as awful as contemporary reviewers stated or if it gets a free pass on account of its age. The $2,200 OBO price, black over not-vinyl with a V6 6MT combination has my interest piqued, but thankfully tragically it’s far away in Ohio. Any midwesterners wanna take a look?

1987 Pontiac Fiero for sale – eBay Motors

I’m Thinking of Flipping this Jeep (but not in the typical way…probably)

1966 jeep cj5 for saleIt’s long been my goal to have my car hobby pay for itself, but probably never become a day job. Over five years, Hooniverse has helped towards that goal, but I’m also looking to get into a little more of a hands-on approach. I recently took a friend’s car from non-starting, non-running basket case to decent cheap commuter and made about $1200 in the process. The Missus is encouraging me to roll that forward…

Which is how this ’66 CJ5 caught my eye. Yes, it’s a total basket case. However, the seller’s asking $800. With a negotiated discount, that’s about the part-out-and-scrap value of the collective parts. Meanwhile, a crappy running CJ5 is worth around $3k. This one’s ugly, but has potential to get some attention with the 350 swap and…well…the 350 swap. There’s next to no information about whether that motor’s seized or an afternoon of work away from running. Same with the rest of the drivetrain. Might be little more than a lawn ornament for all we know.

1966 jeep cj5 350 motor

Assuming there’s a salvageable drivetrain in there, the nice part about a rough CJ5 is that expectations are low; more typical cars have failure points like A/C, stereo, doors, windows, glass or a roof, but not here. If I can get it running, turning and stopping, it’s already doubled or tripled in value. While I’m at it I might throw the wheels and tires (and maybe axles) from my Wagoneer under it as an excuse to get new ones. Oh, and I’d need to get a replacement title.

Would it be a well-sorted “buy it and drive it across the country” grade vehicle? No, but it’d be one cool 4×4 saved from the scrapyard and a good starting point for someone else’s fun project driver.

1966 Jeep CJ5 for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

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