Own LeMons Legend Spank’s Award-Winning Renault R10

Tim Odell August 28, 2014 All Things Hoon

renault r10 for lemons car for sale

You now have the opportunity to own one of the best and worst LeMons cars in history: Spank’s Renault R10. The lead image should make the best/worst descriptor self-evident, we’ll elaborate to point out that it’s a terribly slow car that captures the essence of LeMons so well it won the top honor: the Index of Effluency.

But there’s more than just a terrible way to spend four figures, the ad is so well written. As purveyors of low-end craigslist and eBay finds, we wade waste-deep through the written effluence of the semi-literate. Not so with this listing. A mere sample from the lengthy listing:

It’ll be ok. It’s just some pictures. It can’t hurt you. See? It’s a screen. Go ahead and touch it. Go ahead.
See? It’s just a screen, just like I said– a screen. You can scroll and look at the pictures. They’re just pictures. Just pictures on a screen…
But you don’t have to live your life that way. You know– looking at pictures on a screen. I mean, you know, ANYONE can do that. You don’t even have to get dressed to do that; you can be, like, naked looking at pictures on a screen. Heck, probably a good percentage of you are darned close to naked right now. Sitting there, looking at pictures on a screen. Pictures that show there’s fun to be had out there in the world. You know– out there in that natural sunlight.
Do something.
Be somebody.
Buy this.
The opening bid is $2,000, with a buy-it-now of $4,350. For the full price, he’ll include delivery and entry to the upcoming “Vodden The Hell Are We Doing?” Thunderhill race in September. Yes, a seriously awful “$500″ car is going to cost you nearly $5 grand. Once you add up the price of a cage, seat, tires, brakes and other generally exempt items, a car of air comes in between $3 and $4k. A prepped (but awful) car plus entry for $4,350 is actually a pretty good deal once you split it between 4-6 people.

Tempest Tuesday: Don’t Call this 1962 Pontiac a Muscle Car

Tim Odell August 26, 2014 eBay Insanity, For Sale

1964 pontiac tempest for saleSo odd, that two cars embodying What Could’ve Been and What Unfortunately Was would bear the same name: Tempest. The 1964 Pontiac Tempest LeMans GTO defined the muscle car (despite Jim’s efforts to do otherwise): midsize car with a full-size engine. The success of the utterly conventional, not even that original GTO convinced GM that baby boomers would keep buying sloppy straight-line cars as long as they kept the cool options packages and badging, regardless of actual performance.

Alas, just a few years prior the Tempest was part of a grand experiment at The General: ground-breaking engineering that evolved beyond eight cylinders, three automatic gears, leaf springs and solid axles. The Y- and Z-body “Senior Compacts” from Chevy, Buick, Pontiac and Oldsmobile all touted interesting technology. The Corvair had a rear-mounted air-cooled engine with optional turbocharging. Buick and Oldsmobile had the aluminum 215ci V8 with optional turbocharger and methanol injection. Pontiac offered a high performance 194ci 4-cylinder cleaved from half a 389ci V8. All four The Tempest and Corvair shared a rear-mounted transaxle with independent swing-arm suspension and the Temptest used a flexible mid-shaft and torque tube that curved down to give a flatter floor.

This ancient article from Paul Niedermeyer at The Truth About Cars elaborates so I don’t have to. I share Paul’s opinion that it’s a bit of a tragedy GM decided to abandon this line of technology completely as a result of some teething issues, given where it could’ve led.

1962 pontiac tempest for sale (1)1962 pontiac tempest for sale (3)1962 pontiac tempest for sale (4)

Anyway, today’s example is a red-on-white 4-cylinder, 4-speed example that looks damn nice. The seller offers almost no information (hence the digressive diatribe), and it’s in Wisconsin with modern California plates. The $9,500 asking price is high by our cheap-ass standards, but not out of line for a nicely configured example of a rare car. Were I building a car collection, I’d definitely be on the lookout for a Y-body like this to include.

1962 Pontiac Tempest for sale – eBay Motors

Hooniverse Asks Bonus: Is to Bad to Part Out an Otherwise Functional Vehicle?

Tim Odell August 25, 2014 Hooniverse Asks

1974 Jeep Wagoneer

When searching for relatively rare parts from relatively rare vehicles, often times buying a donor vehicle is the most efficient way to get what you need. For me, I’m eyeing this 1974 Wagoneer for its front and rear axles. However, the intact “Razor” grill, AMC 360, TH400 transmission, Dana 20 transfer case and various other easily removed pieces will net an additional few hundred bucks. Lastly, the steel of the carcass puts it in the $200-300 range for the scrap yard. I’d probably get my axles for $0 plus or minus a hundred bucks.

But then again, there’s only so many of the unflared, pre-wood, truly classic looking Wagoneers out there. I’m sure rust-belters are already cursing me through the screen. This one’s rough, but for the price it could be fixed up a bit and serve honorably for a few more decades. I hate seeing pictures from old junkyards, with (literally) piles of cars that we’d all (hopefully not literally) kill for today. I’d hate to be part of that, just to make a few bucks.

So…are we–the havers of tools, skills and driveway spaces–obligated to save the weakest of the classic herd? Or are we free to prey upon them, as nature intended?

Classic Skin on a Great Chassis: ’64 Suburban on a ’02 Diesel 2500HD Chassis

1964 suburban diesel swap for saleWhile scheming about my own Wagoneer, my escalations of “if you’re going to fix ______, you might as well upgrade to ______” often end with the idea of transplanting the majority of a modern 4×4 into/under it. This tends to make more sense in the context of swapping a late-’70s, early-’80s chassis under a ’50s-’60s era truck, as they use simpler technology and often mounting points are shared. Today’s example stretches that gap, dropping the body of a ’64 Suburban on an ’02 Chevy 2500HD diesel chassis.

You could spend copious quantities of cash upgrading hardware before you’d have the power, efficiency, steering, brakes and drivetrain beef offered by this swap. Unfortunately, there are a few details I’d do differently. The wheels and tires scream 90s show truck, while some narrower, hub-capped painted steelies would be more period appropriate. Getting a current-gen electronics to play nice with old gauges is no small feat, so I sympathize with the seller’s choice to transplant the new dash into the old truck. Unfortunately, the aesthetics of it need some work; early ’00s GM wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of interior design.

 So…then there’s the price. I’m not sure who the buyer of a $31,000 custom truck is, but that’s well outside my budget for a vehicle that’s still going to be a project no matter how well executed the swap is. He does strong suggest we make any offer, though…

1964 Suburban on 2002 2500HD Diesel Chassis – eBay Motors

Are We Missing Something? Surprisingly Cheap ’71 Unimog 404

1971 unimog 404 for saleHaving evolved from farm truck to its current heavy duty hardware, there’s no denying Unimog’s place as the ne plus ultra of 4x4s. Wrangler, CJ, Land Rover or FJ guys all quit slapping at each other with limp wrists to acknowledge its superiority. Unfortunately, most examples that come up for sale are later, massively heavy-duty examples from a German fire and rescue crew or the like. In fact, that’s exactly what our own Dearthair test drove so many years back.

It’s with great excitement, curiosity and a little skepticism that we present this 1971 Unimog 404 (there’s a “404 Not Found” joke in here somewhere but I’m too tired to make it…). There are no obvious condition or maintenance issues. The seller’s gone through a lot of recent maintenance, per this response to a question:

Yes original gearing. Never had it on highway I’m told they can go 60 but that would be winding it up. The only issue is all the gauge and switch info is in German or whatever. I don’t know what all the switches do. I have done all hard stuff (front axle seals mega bitch, etc) engine front oil seal has a very small leak, a few drips after running. I don’t think it is worth fixing. Everything else I have gone through. It also has a compressor for trailer breaks that works but I cut off the belt because unless you wanted to pull trailer with air breaks or to power air tools it’s just a drag on the motor because it pumps all the time.

That response really makes me want to buy it just to equip it with “MEGABCH” vanity plates.

Bidding’s at just $9,600 as of this writing, which is a damn good deal for a vehicle that could drag your house down the street in low range.

1971 Unimog 404 for sale – eBay Motors

What to do with an Engine-less FJ45 Wagon?

1965 toyota fj45lv wagon for saleAs a California resident and total Jeep fanboy, the FJ40-series Land Cruisers don’t set my heart aflutter the way they do those from saltier, less sunny climates. They’re everywhere out here and always have been. However, we get into the oddball models and things get a notch more interesting. Here we have a remarkably rare 1965 FJ45LV Wagon in halfway decent shape, just minus the drivetrain. The tailgate is removed due to some rust issues, but otherwise it’s typical surface-wear type rust.

I guess the tricky part with a rig like this is whether it’s best to restore it in stock(ish) form or build it to your liking. Dropping in a Chevy drivetrain is pretty much a one-weekend affair–in fact, I’d wager there are more Chevy-swapped FJs on the road than originals, at least in the US. But really, if you wanted a Detroit-powered 4-door 4×4, there are plenty of those around. Maybe keep it in the family and drop in a TRD supercharged 5VZFE from a later Tacoma? Maybe a UZFE?

fj45 for sale (2)fj45 for sale (3)fj45 for sale (4)fj45 for sale (5)

The reserve’s unmet at $5700, which seems like a lot for a project truck with no drivetrain. Then again, try finding another example in better (or any) condition…

1965 Toyota FJ45LV Land Cruiser Wagon for sale – eBay Motors

1956 International Travelall: Bring ALL THE THINGS to ALL THE PLACES

1956 International travelall 4x4 for sale

Apologies for the memey title; it’s late. While Jeep lives on as the brand synonymous with Barbie 4x4s, International gave them a run for their money back in the middle of the century. Case in point? This Travelall Model S120, which looks like a medium-sized bus with rare-for-the-time four wheel drive. I’ll be 100% honest and say no one here knows much about these, so there’s not much to add. Even the requisite Wikipedia search tells us they the S120 is the heavier-duty option and that straight six is a 220ci unit (probably making something like 90hp). I fully expect commenter Scoutdude to weigh in with more details and perspective.

international travelall 4x4 for sale (1)international travelall 4x4 for sale (2)international travelall 4x4 for sale (4)

So, what you see is what you get: a bus-like thing that you could spend countless dollars and hours restoring to original, or a canvas to create your own camping/mountain lodge shuttle/gigantic family off-roading masterpiece. It’s sitting with 1 day to go an a $5,500 Buy-it-Now.

1956 International Travelall S120 4×4 for sale – eBay Motors


Partially Reconstructed Espada For Sale Two Months Later

Tim Odell August 12, 2014 eBay Insanity, For Sale

1971 lamborghini espada for sale

Back at the end of May, we marveled to see one of the roughest Lamborghini Espadas in recent memory sell for $78 grand. While the Jalpa, Jota and Jarama take podium in the oxymoronic Bargain Lamborghini contest, Espadas aren’t supposed to be that expensive. The plot thickens today, as the same overpriced car from a little over two months ago is back on the Bay of e. In the previous listing, the majority of the interior sat next to the car in piles, “ready to go in”. It appears the current seller installed all of those bits along with glass and trim. Additionally, they’ve upgraded from “turns over” to “running, but needs carb and fuel system work”.

$78k seemed expensive for a pile of parts with potential. The bidding’s at $20k with an unmet reserve as I type this; I wonder what they’re hoping to get for their trouble? $85? $90? $100 grand? What’s the rattiest (but now slightly less ratty!) Lambo around worth? Auction ends this weekend!

1971 Lamborghini Espada for sale – eBay Motors

$16,000 BMW CS Coupe Might be the Cheapest Intact One You’ll Ever See

1974 bmw 3.0 cs coupe for sale

We should do a Hooniverse Asks about what car is so beautiful you don’t care how much pain it will cause you. Such is the BMW E9 CS Coupe for me. Unless properly addressed, their rust issues are terrifying. The interior tends to degrade horribly in the presence of excess dryness or moisture, they’re not all that fast and many are automatics. But dammit man, they’re so gorgeous. Tragically, examples with the correct drivetrain and minimal bodywork issues range in price from a nice E46 M3 to a new F80.

1974 bmw 3.0 cs coupe for sale (1)1974 bmw 3.0 cs coupe for sale (2)1974 bmw 3.0 cs coupe for sale (4)1974 bmw 3.0 cs coupe for sale (5)

So, at a $16,000 asking price, this not-quite-perfect-but-not-quite-hopeless E9 tantalizes. It’s had the engine upgraded to a later 3.5L M30, has 30 years of service records, and a claimed absence of structural rust. Sure, it’s still got the three-speed auto, but there are no shortage of donor four or five speeds to be dropped in. Then again, for 16 large, one could buy a large fleet of nearly mechanically identical 6-series’ at about $2k each. Or, you know, a decent M3. But they wouldn’t be as pretty.

1974 BMW 3.0 CS Coupe for sale – SF Bay Craigslist

1960 Ford F100 Panel Wagon, Because Vans are Too Mainstream

1960 ford panel wagon for sale

Oddly enough, Ford didn’t introduce the Falcon Econoline Van until 1961, so if you wanted a Ford box on wheels in 1960, this was your only option. This panel wagon, based on the third generation F-100 truck sports an early straight-six and three-on-the-tree. If the setting of the photo shoot weren’t a giveaway, this one’s a “ran when parked” special, having spent 12 years in the weeds. Prior to parking, the engine was rebuilt and a new clutch fitted. Alas, the rear main seal is shot (some rebuild…) and it’ll need a full going through to do more than sputter and set the tall grass on fire. The good news is it doesn’t get much simpler than a straight-six Ford pickup. The bad news is there are no pictures of the back of the interior. Spiderwebs, hornets’ nests, dead hobos or a ’70s sex grotto are all within the realm of possibilities.

Leaving out those possibilities, let’s think about what we could do with this thing. Think time’s over: Camping Rig is the proper answer. While I’m a big fan of period correctness, originality isn’t my cross to bear. Instead, I’d grab the 4×4 chassis of a number of Ford trucks being parted out on Craigslist and swing that sweet, sweet heavy duty drivetrain right into place. A good set of mud tires, a winch and a locker or two and you’d be good to wander to the ends of the earth in your rolling hobo mausoleum/sex grotto.

Two final details: the seller’s asking $2000 and also suggests that this would “make a great first truck for a teen”…which is both terrifying and awesome at the same time.

1960 Ford F100 Panel Wagon – Stockton Craigslist


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