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Malaise Era Press Photo: Mercury Monarch Model or Mannequin?

Eric Rood September 19, 2018 All Things Hoon 19 Comments

We’re here to answer all of the big questions here at Hooniverse. And here’s a big one: Is the model that is, uh, “perched” on a 1980 (I think) Mercury Monarch Coupe a real person in an incredibly awkward pose or a mannequin that has been very ungracefully placed in a press photo? Regardless, this Monarch—the Granada’s forgettable slightly-upmarket cousin—came with a base price of $5,262 with the optional Ford 302 V8 making an earth-shaking 130 horsepower plus the coast of the Malaise Era-beige Landau roof (a mere $118) and some classic rally-style wheels ($310). The giant Mercury hood ornament is free of charge.

  • neight428

    Even this shitbox coupe looks good to an eye used to seeing jellybean CUV’s.

    • Zentropy

      Honestly, I see potential here. Ditch the Landau roof, drop in a Ford crate engine, revise the bumpers, update the suspension, throw on some 18s. This could be interesting, if not outright cool.

      • Tank

        or hell, keep the wheels as is and just get more aggressive tires

  • “…a 1980 (I think) Mercury Monarch…”

    The Monarch lost its round headlights for the 1978 model year, so this one’s a ’75-77. Narrowing it down further is tricky. Were the aero mirrors available as an option before ’76?

    • eric rood

      It’s almost as if I did this with minimal research.

      • Research? I’d have thought the transition year for Monarch headlights was common knowledge.

  • I kinda like the lines of the Granada/Monarch coupes but with out the ugly padded top. Lots of hot rod mods available for this platform. Could be a real sleeper. Can’t tell if the model is real or not but was the pose an inside joke?

  • tonyola
    • Zentropy

      Hell yes.

  • anonymic

    I tried dropping this picture into Google Images, apparently this is a Lincoln Continental Mk V.

  • Tank

    out of curiosity I decided to look to see if there was any for sale (not like I have the room or money for a project) and found this…. Did a gator bite this car??

    https://classics.autotrader.com/classic-cars/1975/mercury/monarch/101016202

    ps. Sorry, I know this isn’t Last Call

    • eric rood

      Florida Man, bath salts, etc.

      • Tank

        I found it on another auction site, apparently there was an engine fire. Maybe firefighters did that to get the hood open?

  • Shingo

    Not a bad looking car at all. But it drives like a 1960 Falcon, because it is.

  • Harry Callahan

    Is she dry-humping that thing?

    • Radar Love

      They call it artificial intelligence for a reason ..

    • Alff

      Just pushing it, Truth in advertising laws in the 70s required that pose.

  • Lokki