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Classic Captions Contest: 1981 Honda Quint Edition

honda quint

Disclaimer: There’s so much adventure happening in this faded 1980s Honda press photo. So, so much. We last left off with Kamil’s go at the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest featuring Jaguar’s new F-Pace luxury crossover and a lot of questions. After dropping $4,495 down, Walt looks content with his $498 a month lease for the next three years. Nice high top Chucks, Walt. I’m at a loss for words though, when it comes to analyzing his companion’s face. Is she upset about having to wrangle all three (count ’em) dogs together for this picture that Walt demands to use for their family Christmas Card? Nothing says happy holidays like a brand-new Jag after all.

Before that Jag’s check engine lights beacon, let’s look at a few of our favorite captions.

“Sure, you’ve got the clothes, the purebred dogs, the Jag… but you’re still in New Jersey.”-I_Borgward

“It’s meant to show the F-Pace as an all-round Luxury-Sport-Utility car that’s classy but also has a sweatpants & trainers side. Except it really comes across as ‘Dear John, I’m shagging the dog walker. Yours, Camilla.'”-Batshitbox

“We couldn’t find a corgi in time.”-Borkwagen

Labor Day is approaching, and I hope all of you take time to enjoy some form of outdoor recreation. Essentially a five-door hatchback Civic, the Quint was built by Honda from 1980 to 1985. Quints exported to European and Southeast Asia bore the name Quintet, while the Aussies got their own version under the Rover nomenclature. The 1.6-liter four-cylinder breathed about 80 horsepower and teamed with a three-speed automatic or five-speed manual transmission. Nature-y folks, the granola and flannel enthusiasts like yours truly, love hatchbacks and wagons. They’re perfect. We can effortlessly haul all of our gear around for a weekend spent exploring at Wind Cave National Park or a day trip to hike through Wisconsin’s stunning Driftless Area.

The scene here is a capture of pure outdoors-y swag. Thick knit sweaters, coiled climbing rope, binoculars, a backdrop of craggy peaks and of course drinks of probably whiskey in-hand. Use the comment section below to paint the dialogue.

  • Sjalabais

    “If we had taken the Subaru we wouldn’t have to walk the last stretch. Let’s just set up the tent and get drunk.”

    /don’t drink and climb

    • P161911

      “We didn’t bring the tent, there wasn’t enough room. We had to leave the cooler too. Why didn’t we just take Bob’s Suburban? We could have all chipped in for gas.”

  • Vairship

    “Those stuck-up snobs keep ignoring us. Alright Bob, gently but firmly nudge the rear bumper. The car will start rolling and bump them right off the cliff!”

  • I_Borgward

    I told those guys they’d never get that FIAT all the way up here.

  • Maymar

    For just £3,995, I got the hood, the trunk, the whole damn thing.

  • Rover 1

    This is the sports version of the Quint, you don’t need binoculars. Remember S Quint!

  • “They said that the helicopter was coming back to bring us down. I should be able to see it by now. Why can’t I see it? I don’t want to be stuck up here all night with those three.”

  • Rene Curry

    They have accepted the Millennial internet challenge to get to their next destination while only using a folding map.

    • Wayne Moyer

      How timely and accurate.

  • outback_ute

    I can see my house from here!

  • Victor

    Lets finish our drinks , grab our backpacks then push this junk over the edge.

  • Van_Sarockin

    All this manly effort, and I still can’t see any foxes. Not even an Audi.

  • tonyola

    “I think we’re lost”
    “Oh well, have a drink”
    “So where do you think we are?”
    “See that mountain off in the distance? We’re right on top of it!”
    “I think I’ll have a drink too…”

  • danleym

    Hey, I think that’s a woman over there! Funny, since I bought this Honda this is about as close as I can get to them…

  • H Vaughn

    “I came for the hot air balloon landing but now they expect me to pack it up. It’s a real bringdown.”

  • Alff

    Seats five if the rear passengers have short … pants.

  • Wayne Moyer

    “See right there. That’s where I am going to aim when the VTEC kicks in yo!”