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Opinion: Your Vape Pen Went Through My Tire And You’re A Nitwit

Eric Rood March 3, 2017 All Things Hoon 23 Comments

I’m not always an angry human being, but after getting raked over the coals to have a fuel pump replaced in my wife’s 2011 Chevy Malibu 10 days ago, I was less than enthused to run over some knob’s errant vape pen with the same Malibu on Wednesday evening. What was normally a four-minute drive to pick up my daughter turned into a four-minute drive with a 15-minute scissor-jack tire change because some genius left a vape pen in the middle of a residential street.

Knowing that I’d be out some money and also knowing the jackass whose vape pen stuck in the sidewall would never be found, I did the only thing I know: Screamed into the void of the internet. Yeah, it’s probably pointless and stupid, but if’s there a better use for CraigsList than pointless and stupid posting, I want nothing to do with it.

[Source: Me on CraigsList]

  • P161911

    Oddly, I have noticed that the now preferred medium to sell sub $5,000 cars to those of questionable intelligence and finances is now Facebook, not Craigslist. I recently sold our 2004 Trailblazer and got about 5-7 responses off of Facebook for every one that I got from the Criagslist ad.

    • “…to sell sub $5,000 cars to those of questionable intelligence and finances is now Facebook…”

      Okay, two things: (1) My finances are not all that questionable, thank you, and (2) I’m still not getting a Facebook account; I’ll keep shopping on Craigslist.

      • P161911

        I think Facebook is only for “normal” cars, your eclectic tastes are safe on Craigslist.

        • If it’s only for normal cars, then why do I keep hearing that Facebook is so popular?

    • Alff

      You must live in a better area. In KC, the sub-$2K car group is hot.

      • P161911

        I had plenty of people offer me $2,000 for the vehicle that I had advertised for $3350. The last one I said sure, “but I’m keeping the engine, transmission, doors, wheels, and tires.” He got pissed for some reason. Don’t ask stupid questions if you don’t want stupid answers.

    • Batshitbox

      Ugh, Craigslist Flakes are bad enough, are Facebook Flakes worse?.

      • P161911

        Thanks to Facebook’s instant messenger feature, yes. At least you can see pictures of the flakes you are dealing with. I had 2 or 3 messages in Spanish. NOTHING about me suggests that I would speak Spanish.

      • The fact that you can find out exactly who they are makes no difference. You’d think that the anonymity available thru a CL transaction would make people flaky, but for some odd reason, I’ve had waaaaaay more issues with local Facebookers that I could literally say hi to the next time I go to Safeway.

        • P161911

          I sort of disagree. If I see a profile picture with lots of prison grade tats or an obvious fake profile, I just ignore their messages.

  • David Peterson

    Hilarious. Get any takers?

  • Batshitbox

    I went on Craigslist Rants one time because one of my favorite Boston punk bands, who had a decades long reputation for not playing shows they booked, and for playing shows without publicizing them, had once again bagged on a planned show in San Francisco. I thought I was just blowing hot air into the void but the venue evidently monitored Rants and saw their name. They contacted me and assured me the show was merely postponed because of a broken arm.

    So you never know. I doubt you’ll get takers on the scissor jack battery (those Jackass-type shows are a thing of the past) but someone might pony up $50 for the pen.

    • Van_Sarockin

      What band? And no way you’re getting my pen.

      • Batshitbox

        The Freeze

  • dead_elvis, inc.

    This absolutely deserves clicking “best of” on CL!

    I don’t do a lot of stereotyping, but there are solid reasons the nickname “douche flute” applies to e-cigs & vape pens. I see their use as the smoking equivalent of coal-rolling bro trucks. Plenty of shared demographic.

    • P161911

      I just call e-cigs adult pacifiers. Especially true for those that wear an e-cig on a lanyard around their neck.

  • Alff

    Brah, why’d you trash my vape?

  • Ol’ Shel’


    First-World problems.

    Vote in some politicians who understand that nicotine is addictive and destructive, and are willing to ban it forever.

    or, STFU.

    • LeaksOil

      If only drugs like cocaine & methamphetamine were made illegal then finally all those people would stop using them,…

      …oh wait …

    • The Rusty Hub

      You’re right. From now on, I’ll only write about cars in the Third World.

      • Alff

        I hope your first post is a drive test of a Hindustan Ambassador.

        • The Rusty Hub

          Me too.

    • I_Borgward

      Did someone get some politics on their shoes before they came in here?