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Last Call: Stone Cold Edition

Robert Emslie January 10, 2017 Last Call 21 Comments

stone-motorcycle-1

Chris Zernia does custom bikes. He doesn’t do your ordinary custom bikes however as evidenced by this Honda CX500 with bodywork composed of Basalt. Yes, basalt, the stone. It’s a stone motorcycle. Zernia’s bike ended up being a top-three finalist in a contest run by the German magazine Custombike. Way to go Zernia!

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.

Image: Highsnobiety

  • Batshitbox

    It’s not very fast, but the handling will scare the schist out of you.

    • Alff

      They would have been even more successful if their riders had been boulder.

      • Well, it didn’t take long for me to regret my comment from three hours ago that I care about rocks.

        • 0A5599

          It has a relatively elevated seating position. Of course, it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

          • Monkey10is

            This is why we can’t have gneiss things.

  • Wayne Moyer

    So its going to be almost 60 here on Thursday wiht a low of 40. Which is very unusual for south central Pennsylvania at this time of year. I’m trying to decide if it’s time to wake the bike up or not. The risk is that the roads are still covered in salt (well a salt like substance), ash and junk which will make the really risky. The upside is that it will be good for the bike to get some miles on it over the winter. The same could be said for taking my Spitfire out as well. Which I am now starting to regret not putting on a battery tender. Of course the Spitfire is also buried under a bunch of stuff. Which is what you do in the winter around here. The Spitfire is over on the left in the image.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/52250d7f9554bea1dc090a492c83909544532256373402c493b3def26595e22f.jpg
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/60312d3e4b19fab64e20287c2b275588fabaab42460baa13dc1b17ea3a35c3d9.jpg

    • I think I see a Spitfire in there. Carmine red?

    • 0A5599

      A few years ago when I got an unplanned ambulance ride to the hospital, I learned that the first warm weekend in January is to orthopedic surgeons what Black Friday is to department store managers or April 14 is to tax accountants. Even if it’s a relatively minor spill that brings you to the ER, you’re going to wait 30 hours for your turn, then get cut open by a guy who hasn’t been off his feet in the last 30 hours.

      • Wayne Moyer

        That’s why I am worried to be honest. We have a school delay this morning because of ice. Which means the roads will be treated again. That will make them nice and treacherous on two wheels unless we have heavy rain before tomorrow.

    • Don’t let salt get all over that. You’ll regret it. I ruined a bike’s looks that way.

  • Lokki

    I wouldn’t take the Spit out for a drive, and I definitely wouldn’t take the bike, but it’s going to be a great day to put them out in the drive give them a good wash and wax. You’ll be the envy of all your neighbors.

    BONUS: You can drink a few beers while you putter around.

    • Wayne Moyer

      I could take the wagon out with the kids though and get it washed.

  • Lokki

    That bike is already slated for a COAL article.

  • Wayne Moyer

    I should have asked this last night. Would you guys have any interest in my writing a “Death of Victory” story for Hooniverse? This would essentially be a bookend to one I wrote way back in 2011 when I won this bike. Which I had to sell in 2015 when I was unemployed and has lead to the poor decisions with the HD’s. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8d7b860c7e6f5e41321fc00e82e9bd65f12accf2b891013cdd6d51a900772365.jpg

    • Lokki

      Think it would be very interesting…. impressions of the bike, the story behind its rise and fall in your fleet, and a comparison to the conventional wisdom Harley alternative…..

      Do it!

  • spotarama

    cos if theres one thing a CX500 needs its more weight, still at least no-one’s going to call it a plastic maggot any more
    and let me be the first to say it’s a chip off the old block
    i’ll show myself out

  • outback_ute

    Which would win in iron butt vs stone seat?

  • spotarama

    due to mrs spottys jeep living up to its (their) not unwarranted reputation, its back at the dealership for diagnosis of total failure, so they kindly gave us a loaner, not a jeep however (well they wouldn’t want their loan c ars breaking down too, would they)

    its a small Hyundai microwave or some model equally undistinguished, totally bland and quite unpleasant on the road (brakes are better than the holden though) until…..
    I now live at the top of a small range of mountains on the outskirts of the suburbs of the city I live in and one way home is a 6.5 km gravel road that winds up the side of the mountain.

    I remembered about a quarter of the way up why small FWD cars exist, what a blast, the holden is just bloody dangerous (still fun though) up that road, I had the microwaves arse end sliding round hairpins, power sliding the front , tons of fun’

    only problem is, the car only has 1400km on it, immaculate and shiny white, it now has a small collection of stone chips and the whole car is a dusty shade of brown

    on the bike today so tomorrow it gets taken up the 1.5km road that covers the same vertical distance, much tighter, steeper and gravellier