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Classic Captions – Twin Triumphs Edition

Welcome to another edition of the Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest, wherein we show you an old advertising or promotional photo, and y’all come up with witty, clever, and snarky — or in rare cases, profoundly moving — quips to accompany it.

Looking back at recent contests, I realized that the past six have featured women somewhere in or around the vehicle, half of them in swimsuits. Lest people accuse me of pandering the Hooniverse’s predominantly male readership and their tendency to go there in their comments whenever possible, I present you with this human-being-free photo of two ’70s Triumph roadsters in a bucolic glade surrounded only by God’s wild creatures. I am confident that nobody can twist this into something crass and unseemly.
…NO, WAIT! I didn’t mean that as a challenge, really!

743_t6031Our Tatra 603 contest was two weeks ago due to my habit of waiting until the last minute a family emergency (everything’s fine now; thank you for asking). And, as I mentioned above, the ladies in the photo prompted “the usual.” Rust-MyEnemy is on a streak, having one the last two vote-fests, this time with:

“… He described it as long, kind of slim and rounded at the end, with a little eye in the middle. I took a look at it and he was right.”
“Yes, it sure is a wierd looking car.”
“Car? Oh, right. Yeah, his car’s funny looking, too. “

Perpetual high finisher Alff took second place in the voting:

Eastern European style, while not unappealing, is different than what is seen in the West. Consider, for example, how close together the headlights are.

Waddaknow, two winners whom I have both met personally. RL win for the win!

  • “So that’s the new TR7 prototype over there.”


    “Supposed to replace us both some day, I hear.”


    “Enough of this peaceable kingdom. You go left, I’ll go right, and we’ll introduce it to the shape of things to come.”


    –Excerpt from the British children’s classic, “How the Wedge Got Its Shape.”

  • Wayne Moyer

    A Spitfire and a TR6 walk into a zoo and notice the lack of a Stag.

    • Batshitbox

      I’m going to Herald this as the best caption.

      • Wayne Moyer

        You really feel that this meets the Standard’s of Hooniverse?

  • P161911

    Six of these things will try to kill you. The other one is a zebra.

    • Wayne Moyer

      As a Spitfire owner I resent that remark. Although my daughter would tell you differently since the car has tried to kill her twice with my only my driver skills getting us out of the situations.

    • Batshitbox

      What about the cameleopard?

  • Alcology

    I would not have won the deadpool based on that photo.

  • Victor

    OMG ! WTF !

  • Batshitbox

    “A Tiger!?! In Africa?!?”

  • “Your local Triumph Dealer.
    it’s Where the Wild Things Are.

    Or are we just Lion?”

    • Worse, you’re a Cheetah.

      • Vairship

        Irrelephant! Now watch me undo ze bra…

  • XRSevin

    In the village, the peaceful village, the Triumphs sleep tonight…

  • Wayne Moyer

    British Leland has gone a long way to be eco friendly and offset the oil less of each of their cars.

  • smalleyxb122

    The difference between “Two British sports cars, a jaguar, and a tiger…” and “Two British sports cars, a Jaguar and a Tiger…”


  • P161911

    More rare than any endangered wildlife, a rust free Triumph, last seen in 1976.

  • Monkey10is

    Wherever they parked, Siegfried and Roy never had to worry about locking their cars…

  • Lokki

    A TR-6 and a Spitfire somehow find themselves in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by wild dangerous animals.

    The TR-6 says, “Do you think we should run?”

    The Spitfire replies, “I don’t think so; I’m not very good at that”

  • Fuhrman16

    “Alright, which one of you Canley blokes put these Triumphs in our Land Rover ad?”

  • rMac

    As soon as the others mates show up we can get on the Ark.

    • Maymar

      And so it was, Noah led them all onto the Ark two by two. Even the Triumphs, for he needed one for spares.

  • 1slowvw

    Triumph over the natural world with your Spitfire….and if that doesn’t work you can always try the TR6.

  • H Vaughn

    Dad, if that tiger ate you up. . .
    Yes, son?
    What bus should I take home?

  • XRSevin

    Remember, you don’t have to outrun the cheetah; you just have to be faster than the Triumphs.