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Holiday Weekend Truck Edition: It’s ‘Murica After All

As there is a Big Assed Birthday Party going on in these here United States of America, this olelongrooffan suspects postings will be a bit light this weekend. I don’t know about my fellow Hoons but this olelongrooffan likes to get my Hooniverse fix no matter what the occasion so please enjoy the following this Holiday Weekend. We’ll be back in force next week.

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So, once again, this olelongrooffan missed out on attending the 417 Coffee and Cars this weekend. Well, technically that is misstated. I did travel the hour or so up to the Queen City of the Ozarks to attend this monthly held function. However, by the time my longerroof got me there, the rainstorms had commenced and the somewhat impromptu event was breaking up. I did see my first Woolsley in person (almost a Mini only prettier) but failed to capture an image of it as it was exiting the event in the rain. I was trying to figure out what to do next when I remembered the Big Ass GMC Motorhome campout was this week down near my new home town. A quick check at the digital numbers on the dash of my longerroof, I realized that by the time I got back down there in the rain it would have broken up by then. Well my fellow Hoons, this olelongrooffan was sorely disappointed but decided to retrace a route my longerroof had taken me on a whiles back to check a pretty cool old boat seen that day.

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Yeah, just down the street from that Jeep custom building shop, similar to the one I had seen here, the Zebulon Pike was sitting out in the storage yard of the Bass Pro Shop’s custom fabrication shop. This is the shop that builds a lot of the decor for Bass Pro stores around this here nation of ours. [edit: and Canada, too.]

Yeah, that old boat has quite a storied history and Johnny Morris, the owner of Bass Pro hasn’t quite figured out what to do with it.

I guess that even if you are worth over five billion dollars, spending a cool million on the restoration of an old boat is just a bit much.

After all, a boat is just a hole in the water you sink money into.

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Please excuse this olelongrooffan for this diversion but I kinda wanted to include this interesting side note (at least this olelongrooffan thinks so) about the founding of Bass Pro Shops. Johnny Morris’s father, John Morris, Sr., during the Prohibition had the foresight to buy up nearly all of the, at the time, worthless liquor sales licenses in this area. Hence, when Prohibition was repealed, John Morris, Sr. had a near monopoly on liquor sales. As Springfield, Missouri is located between many major metropolitan areas to the north and lots of the “417 lakes” in the area, a stop at one of Morris’s Brown Derby liquor stores was almost mandatory on a trip to the lake. Johnny Morris convinced his Pop to give him some space in one of the stores located in a former Ramey’s grocery store in which to sell his fishing gear. Well, Hoons, that was all it took. Bass Pro Shops soon followed and has prospered ever since.

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And for just a bit of trivia that will never earn this olelongrooffan one red cent.

Back in the mid 80’s I worked on the first Bass Pro Shops Outdoor Worlds built here in the Queen City in an old Handy Dan building on south Campbell Street. A bunch of us were about 2/3’s the way completing the installation of a unique ceiling three stories in the air from a scissors lift when Johnny did a walk through. He looks up and tells the Project Manager that he didn’t like what we had spent nearly a week working on and to tear it out and install something else. That Project Manager then instructed his Superintendent to make that happen. It was then this olelongrooffan decided I wanted to be a Project Manager, not the guy hammering the nails some thirty feet in the air on that hi-lift.

I also worked retail at a Brown Derby Store during my college years schleping wine at the Brown Derby International Wine Center.

Finally, if my fellow Hoons clicked on that Johnny Morris link earlier you will have noticed that one of the images across the top of it shows a set in one of those Bass Pro Shops containing an Advance Design truck. Prior to Bass Pro acquiring those trucks, they were seen in Old Navy clothing stores.

Yeah, not one red cent.

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But that is not what this post is all about. No, this olelongrooffan spotted another somewhat unique Top Kick on my way back to the cabin on Laughing Lane I call home these days. You may remember that a similarly based Top Kick was spotted by this olelongrooffan a whiles back, although that one was in ‘Burban form.

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Now this TopKickPickEmUpTruck doesn’t possess nearly any of the adornments that Topkickburban had. I mean for what the hell would a Hoon use this beast? There isn’t even a trailer hitch on the ass end of it. And that damn bed is to high to haul a fifth wheel/gooseneck trailer.

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And there are no saddle gas tanks on it and the lack of chrome state this is an entry level beater. Seriously, is this a real offering by GM or yet another Hillbilly Hack Job. Holy Cow, did this olelongrooffan just create a meme?

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The paint on the cab section didn’t match that on the flare sided bed of it. And for 8,500 bucks, can I at least get a back seat? This may provide graverobber with his next NCOP. This was a sure fire disappointment. I mean, even that Topkickburban had a spoiler up top.

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But this olelongrooffan will say this about that. With that muffler, the driver will certainly get an exhaust note to remember.

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But all was not lost by missing the sighting of that GMC Motorhome gathering. This olelongrooffan did spot this “shorty” while out and about.

Images Copyright Hooniverse 2016/longrooffan

  • Wayne Moyer

    Am I the only person looking at the boat and wandering how I could turn it into an RV?

    • Rover 1

      And I’m probably not the only one looking at the GMC and thinking that doesn’t look like a nearly forty year old vehicle.

      And I should get one.

      • Wayne Moyer

        That’s because it is the only RV that was designed that way from the ground up instead of a body dropped onto a truck frame. The GMC works very well.

        • Rover 1

          Why hasn’t some one else copied it?

          • Wayne Moyer

            Because enough other manufacturers had it covered in the off markets with vehicles that were decent enough. People like Winnebago and such. So it was a one-off thing.
            It’s pretty cool though because it has things like a Olds 455 and Toronado powertrain.

          • outback_ute

            You could probably do something comparable with today’s low-floor buses, to achieve a usefully-low overall height. I’d imagine it would be popular with older RV’ers.

            I’m not sure why, but on first read I thought your earlier comment referred to the Topkick!

      • Ross Ballot

        There’s one for sale by my parents’ house. Been there a while. Need to snag pictures…

  • Cool_Cadillac_Cat

    Wow! Both Zebulon Pike and a Handy Dan reference in the same article!!!!

    ‘Scuse me while I gather my brains after a head ‘splosion.

    As a bonus, those GMC motorhomes were really amazing.

  • Batshitbox

    WORLD’S BIGGEST PICKUP TRUCKS
    (also, world’s cheesiest soundtrack)

    Jeremy Clarkson can go drown in a bucket of Tea, issa fortha July!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtX8AUiaWX4

  • desmo

    …or to turn it into a hydrofoil.

  • 1977ChevyTruck

    It’s funny you should mention Advance Design trucks, especially considering that I have a 1954 Five-Window emblazoned on my chest at the moment.

    https://www.marks.com/en/categories/mens/casual/tops/t-shirts/product/chevy-1911-t-shirt-39500.html#39500%5Bcolor%5D=CHARMX