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Weekend Edition: Twofer Hoon Meeting Pleasures

LongRoofian August 15, 2015 All Things Hoon, Weekend Edition 3 Comments


As it seems fellow Hoon Anti has been out and about cruising all over the European countryside with a bunch of buds (at least that is what that Book about my Face tells this olelongrooffan), this olelongrooffan thought a few sights of what this olelongrooffan has seen around the Ozark Mountains this past few weeks would be in order. And to share with my fellow Hoons the twofer experience also experienced. But prior to that, I have absolutely no freaking idea why this gooseneck flatbed with a bunch of hay bales on it has been parked in this vacant parking lot for the past five weeks. I spot it every day on my way to work right there on the strip that is Highway 76 there in the Purple Heart City that is Branson. And it is nowhere near Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede horse barn/restaurant.


Now this olelongrooffan suspects that there are not a whole bunch of my fellow Hoons who are roundy-round racing fans but I spotted this contraption parked outside another ubiquitous Welcome Center a few weeks ago just after the race where Danica Patrick (#10) and Dale, Jr. (Mountain Dew sponsorship) got all tangled up. I thought it was an interesting juxtaposition and pretty humorous, but then again that is just this olelongrooffan.


Over in front of some building under renovation, certainly not much progress has been spotted by this olelongrooffan in the past five weeks, but anyway I spotted this pretty sweet shorty Blue Oval 4×4 pickemuptruck. It reminds me of a story thejeepjunkie shared with this olelongrooffan about his son, theKid.

Yeah, yet another digression by this olelongrooffan.

Well, theKid is serving all of us in the US Army and, personally, this olelongrooffan is quite proud of him. All of the males in my family, brothers, pops, uncles and the like have served in some capacity, a claim this olelongrooffan cannot make. No judgement or commentary here. I’m just proud theKid is doing what he feels is best.

Anyway, after a year long tour in Korea and a month in the World Center of Racing, he was sent up to Alaska to defend whatever the hell we have going on up there. Well, as thejeepjunkie sold his trusty but rusty 4×4 Ranger pickemuptruck (my fellow Hoons may remember it as the one who hauled the “Charles Barrett Special” home from John’s World Famous Salvage Yard a few years ago), upon arrival in Alaska theKid needed a new means of transport in the limited civilian portion of his life.


And in true Hoon fashion (my fellow Hoons do remember the infamous t-shirt he was wearing the last time this olelongrooffan saw him on my Unexpected Road Trip Adventure), he merely opened up his trusty daily driver laptop and went over to every Hoons favorite vehicle buying website, yes, that would be the List that is Craigs, and started looking around for a 4×4 to replace that Ranger during the stark winter months that is the Alaskan climate.

Well, theKid found a 1984 Ford 4×4 pickemnuptruck similar to the one parked at that construction site. Now I say similar as the one he found was New Wave Two Tone. Yeah the hood was one color, each fender a different color and the bed was yet another. Not to be detered by this gorgeous, yet functional paint job, theKid called the owner to inquire as to its availability. He and the owner chatted it up about this old truck and came to an agreement about its condition and the purchase price. When theKid mentioned he would need to set up his transportation down to pick up this truck, the seller asked where theKid was. “Down by the river,” was theKids response. “Hell,” the seller responded, “my daughter and I are fishing right near you. Meet us at the boat dock at (wherever) and we’ll give you a ride to pick it up.”

And guess what, my fellow Hoons? In the same fashion as his dad and his uncles, that is just what theKid did. He packed a tool pouch and headed out to that boat dock, met the owner and his daughter, caught a ride to his new to him truck and drove that sucker back to his home there on the base. While in route home, he did experience an issue with the starter (IIRC) but merely hiked to the local parts supplier, got what he needed, performed the repairs and got home, Hooniverse style. And theKid is in his early 20’s. We need to get him here, stat.

Of course, when his mom, thesungoddess, got wind of theKid getting in a stranger’s boat, she was, in her fashion, extremely upset. Well, much like the times theKid’s sister wrecked a couple TJ Jeeps, thejeepjunkie was pretty laid back in his response. “Honey, theKid has been bulked up and trained to protect himself, do you think some old man such as myself or the olelongrooffan is going to fuck with him?”

And she quieted right down. At least according to thejeepjunkie. And as is related, theKid paid cash for it and when transferred out of Alaska, “if I can’t sell it, I’m not parking it, I am abandoning it.”


So, enough about that digression. Another time as this olelongrooffan was heading back to the “B’s Nest” in historic Rockaway Beach, I spotted this horse in the highway just a short ways from that not so historic newly opened Doller General store. A gentle reminder of the rural area I now live in and to Hoons of a certain age, Little Joe Cartwright. I thought about stopping but those thoughts were erased from this olelongrooffan’s mind when I spotted a couple of dudes in a big ass truck stop, gather up a rope from the bed of that truck and take off after that wandering pony. Yeah, redneck cowboys in big ass trucks bearing confederate flags are good for something.

So much for Hooniverse’s no politics policy.


Another time, this olelongrooffan spotted this Florida Roofed sedan out on the strip and thought about how out of place this Impala seemed. I thought about the likelihood of seeing one of these originating from the ShowMe State. Then I spotted the Fort Myers, Florida dealer Bill Branch Chevrolet logo on its ass end and knew the world was in order.


Last week, the day this olelongrooffan experienced the first of this Twofer experience, I spotted this pair of Branson city cops across the 76/65 intersection riding on a pair of CanAm trikes. Other than the city of Daytona Beach, Florida, this olelongrooffan has not seen these utilized as police vehicles.

So what was that Twofer experience this olelongrooffan is referring to?

Well, over the five plus years this olelongrooffan has been granted the highly desirous key to the Hooniverse vault, I have had the pleasure of meeting many of my fellow Hoons. HoondaVanDude and his son out a a wonderful day at the track at the World Center of Racing; skitter, an engineer on the DeltaWing race car team who for a Hoonimas gift bestowed upon this olelongrooffan some cool ass racing posters in the garage area of the Daytona International Speedway during a Roar Before The 24 experience; a Miata autocrossing racing dude in his cool ass race car; Jim Yu down in FantasyLand; and Bradley at a Rolex 24 a whiles back; as well as many others. Well this day I was honored by meeting fellow Hoon contributor, Marcal and Mrs. Marcal as well. Yeah, Marcal, et al, relocated from the Pacific northwest to the center of our great nation and made the detour to visit this olelongrooffan while in the area. Thanks Marcal and Mrs. Marcal, this olelongrooffan is honored by that experience. A Corvair experience is in our future.


And on the way home that day, this olelongrooffan spotted this CJ3B turning into the parking lot of that aforementioned Dollar Store I pass by twice a day. Of course, I had to whip a Ueee to head into that parking lot to have a chat with its owner. Well, it turns out that owner, who lives less than three miles away, has owned this ride for over 25 years. When this olelongrooffan mentioned how great of shape it was in, he responded, “Yeah, in the time I’ve owned it it has had three tubs and two frames.” I got a chuckle out of that as thejeepjunkie has been known to rebody and reframe a few CJ’s in his time.


So, the second part of this Twofer post is this.

Last week this olelongrooffan received an email at my personal email account from a name I had not previously recognized. “We’ll be down in your neck of the woods (okay, those are my words) next week and would love to meet up with you.” Of course, this olelongrooffan responded in the affirmative. And from whom would those words emanate?

Well my fellow Hoons, it was none other than our Two Wheeled, Encyclopedia Hoonatica friend, Tanshanomi and the wonderful Ms. Tanshanomi. And they rolled into that museum I call home these days just in time to chat it up with this olelongrooffan for a few minutes before their pontoon boat out on Table Rock Lake was ready for their Hooning pleasure. And what a pleasure it was.


And it was on the way home that evening that this olelongrooffan spotted something rather unusual and that would be a fire truck on a hook. In typical fashion, this olelongrooffan had to whip a Ueee to see what was up. Well, it turns out the rear end had gone out on this firefighter and it needed some assistance from a shop up in the Queen City of The Ozarks. I asked that wrecker driving dude if he needed to remove the half shafts from it prior to toking that 35 miles north. “Yeah, otherwise the transmission would explode.” Well, this olelongrooffan didn’t question the fact that the rear axle on this beast was shot, how could any movement affect the transmission? One of the few times this olelongrooffan kept my mouth shut.


And a little later, just down a ways, on the lakeshore, at the local stop and rob, this W123 was spotted. It has caught the attention of this olelongrooffan previously and as I needed a few things, I stopped in to gather up a half gallon of cow’s juice to supplement my daily coffee intake as well as my TonyTheTiger intake. As I was checking out, the only other customer in that place was waiting for his chimichonga to be prepared. I turned to him and asked if that was his W123 out front. He looked at me in surprise at my reference of it as that and responded in the affirmative. “I own four others as well.”

“You are a real sadist aren’t you?” was my response.

We both cracked up laughing and parted ways with a smile on our faces and a perk in our end of the day experiences.

In summary, it was a great pleasure to have a Twofer Hoon meeting experience. This olelongrooffan is flattered with the fact that fellow Hoons go out of their way to meet this olelongrooffan. Thanks.

Oh yeah, one of the things that Tanshanomi shared with this olelongrooffan was about how many of our fellow Hoons this olelongrooffan has been able to meet.

“The only other Hoon I have met was Rust My Enemy when I was in London, England a whiles back.”

So the only other Hoon the esteemed Tanshanomi has met is the equally esteemed Chris Haining?

This olelongrooffan is honored to be included into that fraternity.

Images Copyright Hooniverse 2015/longrooffan

  • mve

    My wife and I really enjoyed perusing your place of business, and were delighted to meet you. I’m glad that everything is looking up for you. I told the missus I am a little jealous that you have a cabin in Rockaway Beach.
    I resisted the urge to take pictures of everything inside your museum, but I thoroughly enjoyed looking at everything. It was funny to point out car after car that someone in my family had owned at some point in the past.

  • bus plunge

    That CJ3B— it sounds like it like the hatchet that George Washington used to chop down the cherry tree (which I happen to own).. oh sure, the handle’s been changed a few times and the head was replaced a while back….I got it on the List that is Craig’s ….I made a steal on it!

  • William Robinson

    The tow truck operator was saving himself some time laying on his back yanking the drive shafts out of that heavy water laden pig. Removing the axels and capping them is much easier and accomplished the same “don’t grenade the tranny” mission.