Home » All Things Hoon » Currently Reading:

For Sale: Speedycop’s Geo Metro Stretched Limo

Kamil Kaluski September 8, 2014 All Things Hoon 15 Comments

geo metro stretched limo rear side

Somehow the limousine industry has totally overlooked the Geo Metro as a perfect candidate vehicle to be stretched. Its advantages are numerous, too! It says that its occupants have taste but are fiscally and environmentally conscious! They demand the best but are not willing to pay for it! They’re confident in who they are and they don’t need an ego-magnifying Bentley! They prefer to slowly experience the journey and not focus on the destination!

If I just described you, I have some great news!

geo metro stretched limo front side

From the ad:

1992 Geo Metro LIMO!!! One of a kind! GREAT MPG! – $2500 (Brandywine, MD)

Ever wanted a totally unique custom car, but thought there was no way you could possibly afford one? Now you can! This 1992 Geo Metro limo is believed to be the only first-gen Metro limo in existence. That’s right, it’s one of one. As if that alone wasn’t enough to make it super valuable, think of the provenance: This car has been driven by some of the greats* in the racing world** (full disclosure: by greats* I mean LeMons Chief Justices, and by racing world** I mean the 24 Hours of LeMons series). It has even turned a lap on the famous Shenandoah course at Summit Point! Granted, it wasn’t racing, and you wouldn’t have really noticed a speed differential if it had been, but still. . .

Nothing screams race car like a 1 liter engine with three cylinders of fury, hauling around a nearly four foot stretch on a four door econobox, with seating for you and seven of your closest little friends. Have long flowing dark hair and a penchant for spending years napping on end? You and your undersized entourage can all ride in style! Want to single-handedly end climate change? This thing is so frugal I haven’t needed to add gas in the last two years! Of course, it hasn’t been driven more than a few times during that period, but still. . .

The 5 speed transmission has close ratios to keep you right in the sweet powerband, and the clutch is so new and strong it can spin a mighty 12″ radial tire on dry asphalt. To say this thing slams you back in the seat with raw acceleration would be an extreme understatement. Or maybe that’s an extreme overstatement. Either way, you’d be making a statement—one that says “HEY! LOOK AT ME! I’m saving the planet AND riding in style and comfort!” Okay, sort’ve in comfort. I mean, the windows and door locks are manual, there is no working AC, the stereo eats cassette tapes and only puts out like 5 watts, and the ride isn’t exactly on par with a Town Car, but still. . .

Think of the endless hours of labor it required to create this incredible one-off limousine. Think of what that labor would cost. When you finish laughing, compare that figure to my incredible bargain-basement asking price of $2500. Is it done professionally? Not really. Is it structurally sound? Well, it hasn’t broken in half yet. The previous owner commuted on heavily cratered and pocked Detroit streets with it for years. It looks solid. It doesn’t seem to flex at all. I’ve run 7-8 people around in it myself. If that isn’t proof that it’s well executed and will never fail you, I just don’t know what is. I mean, a custom stretch is always best left to the pros, but still. . .

It has a clear title in my name. It runs and drives well. It only needs minor work, and I wouldn’t be scared to drive it cross country right now. It’s priced really low. It has lots of room. It gets incredible mileage. It is arguably the nicest first-gen Metro limo on the planet. If you snooze, you will lose, because this thing will sell quickly. I have far too many cars, and far too little cash. This one is almost never driven, so it might as well go. I had planned to cage and race it, but I have enough unusual race cars in the works already. I might regret selling it someday, but still. . .

First $2500 cash

geo metro stretched limo side hummer

If you own a limo company, you simply must add this to your fleet!

[Source: Washington D.C. Craigslist]

  • Now we know the answer to the question, "What do you little maniacs want to do NEXT?"

    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d6/Movie_poster_for_Weird_Science_%281985%29.jpg"&gt;

  • dukeisduke

    Er, Speedycop?

    • You may have noticed that the website was down for some time. We had all kinds of errors occurring… one of those included the letter y randomly disappearing from out titles.
      Weirdest. Thing. Ever!

      • dukeisduke

        LOL! But seriously, I did notice a weird database error message when I tried to hit the site last night. Weekends don't seem to be kind to Hooniverse lately.

  • smalleyxb122

    It looks like it would be difficult to park. Or at least it did until I ran the numbers. A 4 foot stretch on a 4-door Metro gives it a wheelbase roughly 10 inches shorter, and an overall length nearly 3 feet shorter than my truck. So, it might be a handful to maneuver into a spot, but it should fit in a standard parking spot, and, at just over 17 feet in length, it would fit, albeit snugly, in most garages.

  • "Nothing screams race car like a 1 liter engine with three cylinders of fury…."

    Rounded up to the nearest liter, I agree.

  • Speedycop

    Sold it yesterday. I have new builds to pay for, and the thing was just never used. Thanks anyway Kamil!

    • D'oh!

      • Eric Rood

        Every time I post a LeMons car for sale, it sells before the post goes live.

    • Felis_Concolor

      And here I was thinking it would be a great candidate to spruce up, then wait for Ford to make its turbo 3-pot available as a crate engine kit. More than double the horsepower would make it really stand out among the stretched Metro crowd.

  • Vavon

    Not bad, but I would rather have a 2005!

    <img src="http://www.autogekken.nl/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Peugeot_2005.jpg&quot; width=640>

    • Rover_1

      Specially the ' Peugeot Sport ' version.

    • Felis_Concolor

      To use the modern vernacular: I see what you did there.

  • Aaron RIes

    I want to do this to mine so bad