It’s been a busy year for the Hooniversal Car of the Year. We’ve had multiple nominees squeaking in at the last minute, including my own. We’ve had delays by spotty internet, busy work schedules, and dogs eating homework. All of these problems can be blamed on Glucker, and so they shall be. Everyone, point your fingers Gluckerwards, and give him frowny-faces of disapproval.
Okay, he wasn’t actually responsible, but on this side of the fence, it’s his fault anyhow.
If you haven’t already, you really must go back and read through the various nominations. The field is action-packed this year, and even features multiple malaise-era entries to keep the LeMons judges naughty-bits positively a-tingly. And a Subaru! With any luck, that will be the first, last and only time a Subaru ever gets nominated in HCoTY.
Here’s a run-down of the candidates, in case you missed them:
- Antti decided to make everyone else look bad, and jumped in like a keener with the first nomination, and it’s an AMC, a matte-black Rebel from hell. But if it’s a rebel from hell, doesn’t that make it good?
- Lord Haining followed up soon thereafter, nominating the Queen Mum’s Jaaaaaaaaaaaag, and distinguishing himself by being the only person to use Microsoft Paint in his nomination. Gold star and knighthood for you, sir.
- Tanshanomi, meanwhile, got clever, nominating Antti’s newly-purchased Polo. Antti wanted to nominate it next year, once he’s learned to work on it, but Mr. Shanomi knew that by then, the car would be scrap. Best to nominate it early.
- If you didn’t read the LongRoofFan’s nomination of a ‘58 Nomad… go and do so. It may be enough to sway my own vote, that’s all I’m going to say on the matter. Damn, that thing’s pretty.
- Mr. Ith, meanwhile, took the easy way out and nominated a LeMons racer, the always impressive FX32. There is no doubt it’s an impressive creation, but has the LeMons card been played? Well, that’s for you, the readers, to decide.
- The Chief Blooger decided to channel his inner Andrew Lloyd Webber in nominating a beautiful Morgan Three-Wheeler. Fortunately, he left out the singing and dancing. This year.
- In a thumb in the eye of the LeMons Chief Justices, who have labelled it “The Worst Car Of All Time”, Eric Rood nominated the internet-infamous K-It-Forward Racing K-Car. If the prize were a tactical nuclear strike, I’d totally vote for this car.
- Kamil’s nomination of SpeedyCop’s Spirit of LeMons Cessna seems almost obvious. Really, the only things working against it are the few dozen other SpeedyCop creations. We might just do better nominating SpeedyCop for a Hoonitarian Sainthood.
- Bradley Brownell (BB to his friends, not because of his initials) makes a compelling argument for a twin-engined MINI. I just can’t help but wonder if it made an already-amazing car better, or worse?
- At that point, in a fit of madness, Sajeev and the Saucy Minx nominated a… Cadillac… or something. Look, just scroll down to $kaycog’s comment. That sums it up altogether.
- Mr. Brennan then threw the gauntlet down with the coolest hearse we’ve ever seen. And it’s based on the old RoadBastard Wagon that I do so dearly love. It’s tough to say no to that…
- And after that, in a nomination I’m sure we can all agree is clearly the greatest of the lot, I nominated the Bricklin SV-1 that I spent a warm summer afternoon taking from a pile of parts to a running, road-worthy… uh… pile of parts.
- Phillip must have somehow missed my nomination, and without realizing the futility of the gesture, then tossed his hat in the ring with a Subaru. Go easy on him, he’s young and foolish.
- And, at the last possible minute, forcing me to postpone the voting post by just a bit, commenter MSZ jumped in to nominate his friend’s Pontiac Trans Am. Even if the car doesn’t deserve the nomination — and I think it does — the story absolutely does.
But all my opinions mean nothing. It’s a short voting period, with the voting closing at the moment 2013 ends here on the Pacific Coast. And for simplicity, we’re following Wheaton’s Law this year: Don’t Be A Dick. Campaigning is always okay, but when it becomes spam, it’s just not. Simple example from a few years ago: we had a group of enthusiasts jump in in support of one nominee, while an entire nation jumped in for another. That was still fine, right up until people started trying to hack the vote. Hopping through IP addresses to dupe our security, trying to reverse-engineer the blocks. If I see anything that looks questionable, I’ll simply remove that candidate with no warnings whatsoever. So Don’t Be A Dick, and we’ll make it easy.
So, pick your winner:
Who deserves to be named the 2013 Hooniversal Car of the Year?
- The Lemons-Racing K-Car of Epic Awfulness (29%, 352 Votes)
- Speedycop's Spirit of LeMons (29%, 350 Votes)
- The AMS Performance Chevrolet Hearse ("Madness") (8%, 100 Votes)
- Whitey the '94 Subaru Impreza (5%, 63 Votes)
- The 1975 Bricklin SV-1 of Awesomeness (5%, 59 Votes)
- The '58 Nomad Daily Driver (4%, 47 Votes)
- The LeMons-Racing FX32 (4%, 47 Votes)
- TWINI the Twin-Engined MINI (4%, 47 Votes)
- The Theatrical Morgan Three-Wheeler (3%, 41 Votes)
- Ken's 1979 Pontiac Trans Am (3%, 39 Votes)
- The Matte Black Rebel from hell (3%, 38 Votes)
- The Teal-Coloured WTF Cadillac Thing (1%, 16 Votes)
- The Queen Mum's Jaaaaaag (1%, 14 Votes)
- Antti's Not-Yet-Broken Polo of Great Potential (1%, 11 Votes)
Total Voters: 1,215