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Craigslist: “Just $1666 per car!” is Our Kind of Math

Tim Odell October 17, 2013 For Sale 65 Comments

lead 1622

In the late 80s and early 90s luxury imports were adapting to a new definition of luxury. It was no longer sufficient to build excellent driver’s cars (BMW), those that’d last forever (Mercedes-Benz) or simply were a Jaaaaag (Jaguar); customers demanded features! Car phones, CD players and 57-way adjustable seats became the badges of yuppie honor. Additionally, ever-more-advanced engines replaced stalwarts dating back to the ’60s and ’70s. Needless to say, some of those technologies haven’t survived the intervening 25 years unscathed.

…which is why we can sympathize with this Craigslister who’s selling his ’80s-90s collection of 15 cars for $25,000. We’ve got one Lotus, six MBs, one Buick, four Jags, two BMWs and an Alfa Romeo after the jump.

[Source: Miami Craigslist]

Jaguar XJS

The list almost speaks for itself:

1991 Lotus Elan M100 Silver /Black/Black Superb body

1980 Mercedes 450SLC White/Tobacco Euro car
1987 Mercedes 420SEL Black/Pal Daily Driver
1988 Mercedes 560SEC Convertible White/White/Burgundy 75000 all original Palm Beach car
1990 Mercedes 560SEC Cabernet/Burgundy nice car
1980 Mercedes 450SEL From the movie “Bart got a room” Yellow/Pal Look at the movie…just like it was
1983 Mercedes 300CD Coupe Black/Pal

1984 Buick Riviera Charcoal/Grey 53k mile car from a barn in Kansas

1983 Jaguar XJ6 Black/Black Palm Beach car with 88k miles ran great
1987 Jaguar XJ6 JRG/Tan Parts car
1991 Jaguar XJS Convertible Black/Black/Magnolia 39000 mile car
1994 Jaguar XJ12 Black/Magnolia

1990 BMW 750iL White/Pearl Beige No paint work all original 
1989 BMW 750iL Sirus/Pearl Beige

1991 Alfa Romeo 164L Green/Tan Stunning car

But the seller manages to deliver in a tone that’s equal parts fed up with crappy CL buyers and a collection that’ll bankrupt him with Bosch relays before it appreciates appreciably:

The first $25000 takes them all. No negotiation. If you can’t do this transaction in 10 minutes then don’t call me. If you do not have $25000 in Cash then do not contact me. Principals only! If you are not interested in all then pick out what you want and leave the rest same price $25000.

The included pictures don’t provide many details, nor do they seem to the pictures of the actual cars that are for sale, so you’d have to inspect them all in person at the seller’s storage unit (which he’ll rent to you). Since we all know these cars are never prone to expensive failures, a cursory once-over should do the job, right?

100 tacos for 100 dollars 15 cars for $25,000 – Miami Craigslist


  • dukeisduke

    Wow, six Mercedes, and not a one with the crappy 3.8l V8 – excellent.

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      Only the best!

  • dukeisduke

    The pic of the Riviera is from a brochure. My favorite is the black 300CD, but I wonder if its picture is from a brochure – it looks too perfect.

    • stigshift

      Just guessing, but I don't think Miami is widely known for it's majestic mountain scenery.

      • dukeisduke

        The only mountain in Florida I'm aware of was the man-made one at Charles Foster Kane's palatial "Xanadu".


    • Especially since the photo is obviously not in Florida.

    • ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

      He might have edited it, but now at the bottom Bruce says only the first image is the actual car for sale.

  • Kind of glad I don't live in Miami.

    • Bruce

      Don't be a hater…Miami rocks!

      • Not hating Miami. Hating the fact that I don't have a place to park 15 bargain-priced semi-desirable cars, at least not indoors. I mean, I could put them out by the still, but then the goats might start eating them. This is the midwest after all.

  • dukeisduke

    Does he need a quick 25Gs to cover some legal representation?

    • It's Miami, so maybe a drug debt?

      • Bruce 305-244-5790

        It's funny. I have live in Miami for 25 years and I don't even know anyone personally who does drugs let alone is a drug dealer. I guess Miami is just a drop shipment location for your home town. No time for haters!

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      Great guess and almost right!

      • Bruce 305-244-5790

        PS the only organized crime I know of down here is the State of Florida. Liars, thieves, criminals of every type…right here running this place! But they are one rung up the food chain from the degenerates in the US House of Representatives…

      • monkey_tennis

        So, next guess:

        Are you needing $25,000 in a hurry in order to personalise your new Porsche?
        <img src="http://www.nameyourporsche.com/_media/press/thumbs/th-name-your-porsche-bruce-2.jpg&quot; width="600">

  • scroggzilla

    If there are no Nigerian Princes involved, than I believe we've located the Hooniverse Motor Pool.

  • GTXcellent

    There is something very off about this entire add. Only 1 of the pics is of one of his actual cars, the rest are stock photos. If he's that desperate to unload all of these cars, for the total price he's asking, I'd think he could get that from a dealer, especially a buy here/pay here shady outfit, or even a larger pawn shop. Why bother with Craigslist at all? Why the need to get rid of them all in one fell swoop? Are there title issues, or even titles at all? Are the rest just basically parts cars? Is he a Nigerian prince?

    • If only the Hooniverse had a blogger who travels throughout Florida to check this out.

      • dukeisduke

        *looks around*

      • If only…

        • Who?



          Who are you fooling?

          But this olelongrooffan may just be able to pull something together.

          I'll need a couple day though.

          Let's see. My 2014 Rolex tickets might be at risk though.

          • uhh .. no. I realize in Florida this probably isn't the sort of thing you even cross the street for. Go see really cool stuff at Rolex.

  • Neen85

    Maybe you are buying just the one car and getting 24 stock photo 8×10" pics?

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      15 real cars…no show cars although the 1988 560SEC Convertible is close. The 1990 BMW is no paint work and immaculate in and out. The Alfa is a star. The 420SEL is really nice. And a movie car…the 450SEL is from the 2008 movie "Barts Got a Room"…just like in the movie…buy the movie…I did…I think I may be the only person who ever did. The movie cost $2 million to make and grossed $38,000. Ouch! But the car is cool. The rest all have a storry and social redeeming value. A true once in a lifetime offer. And no Nigerian princes involved! Still looking for a real buyer with $25000 in cash…no checks or savings bonds…lmao.

      • BobWellington

        Why are you unloading them like this? I'm just a curious fella.

        • Bruce

          Looking to close a deal on all the cars and get rid of the warehouse…not interested in tire kickers and strokers to waste time…time to go!

  • dukeisduke

    I should get a cashier's check for $100,000, send it to him via UPS…

    • stigshift

      I see no flaws in your plan…

  • I need to interview this guy for Hooniverse!

    *Powers up 14.4 modem*

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      Please call me for an interview…I welcome it!

      • I got your email response. Let me come up with some questions tonight. Thanks, Bruce!

  • cruisintime

    $1750.00 per month to park 15 cars? Sounds way out line for that much space. Also something smells about this whole deal.

    • Bruce

      $1750 for a 3800 square foot warehouse with private access. Great deal for South Florida…bad deal if you are in Montana!

  • <Insert Bugs Bunny sawing off Florida .gif here>

    • dukeisduke
      • Dean Bigglesworth

        It seems you managed to make it a link instead of embedding it..

        <img src="http://gifs.gifbin.com/florida.gif&quot; </img>

        • dukeisduke

          How do you embed an animated gif?

          • Same as a .jpg, with img tags.

            • Sorry for the threadjack, but I have a question for you. Over on the Facebook Peugeot group, someone found your Flickr stream of a car hoarder's collection that contained a 205 GTI and some R5 turbos, among other things. They're wondering whose collection that is.

              Edit: Nevermind, someone who knows him chimed in.

        • Bruce

          I wish it was that simple!

  • Van_Sarockin

    If the cars were in rather good condition, this could be a winning bet. Not too many dogs in the bunch. I predict a tragic flaw in this deal. I too like to deal with folks who don't think too long and hard about forking over $25 grand in cash.

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      The world is full of mavens of the car business. It is easy to sit on you fat a$$ and poke shots at other people. If it takes you more than 10 minutes to make your mind up on this deal it is not for you or me. I am tired of tire kickers and brain surgeons who have everything figured out. No time for mind %uckers. Just need a real person with real money and some ability to make this deal a winner. Keep up the great work poking fun at everyone else…no doubt you live in the Midwest…It's why I escaped to Florida 25 years ago. Same ^ssholes as everywhere else but at least we have nice weather!

  • dukeisduke

    I found the Bugs Bunny gif, but it won't play. 🙁

  • Manic_King

    What colors/hues are "Pal", "Cabernet", "Magnolia" and "JRG" (Japan Racing Green?). Magnolia I guess is green.

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      FYI…Pal is short for palomino…a medium tan which was very popular interior color. Cabernet, I am sure a 5th grader could tell you is a red wine…as in Dark red metallic. Magnolia is a light cream color taken from the color of the blooms on the Magnolia bush. My guess is anyone buying 15 cars for $25000 would have guessed better…good try though. I like your style!

      • BobWellington

        I don't think I ever saw a question about wine on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?".

      • Preludacris

        I personally would have guessed anyone trying to sell 15 cars for $25k would bother to take pictures of the cars.

      • Manic_King

        OK, thanks for info. FYI, there's also many white Cabernet wines so keep your snark. I'm thousands of miles away, in Europe, so I'm not buying your cars. I hope you find buyer though who takes care of these cars.

    • Rover1

      Pal- Palomino, an orangy tan, the interior colour of the yellow W116
      Cabernet- winey red eg metallic red Miata or Buick ,or on interiors, the colour Mercedes calls Ox Blood.
      Magnolia -(as used in British car interiors) a pale creamy tan,
      And in the UK, certainly around London JRG means Jewish Racing Gold, a pale metallic gold, often called by others, Champagne and commonly seen on non German prestige cars near Golders Green, London.The, perhaps slightly offensive, acronym is a play on the dark green name of BRG, British Racing Green. Think 1930s Bentley at LeMans for that one. these two acronyms have been confused suspect

      • Bruce

        JRG is Jaguar Racing Green, BRG is British Racing Green two different colors offered on Jaguars
        BRG has always been a racing color on Jaguars, Bentley and other British Marques.
        The interior color of the W116 is Tobacco – a darker brown than tan.
        Mercedes interior color in Dark Red is Burgundy in these years.
        Cabernet is a winy red metallic Mercedes color on the exterior.

    • TurboBrick

      Cabernet is a shade of Burgundy made outside of France.

  • ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

    Bruce is throwing in the towel? Well duh, half the cars aren't even German at all!

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      Owning a british car is an unfortunate illness I have…it is very much the same as being a masochist…only not as satisfying. What can I say…I am seeking help!

      • ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

        Oh man this is great surprise, I can't wait for Jim's interview! You're alright, sometimes people come here all flaming when their CL or ebay listing shows-up, but you have sense of humor. Anyway, the Bruce thing, long ago at [redacted] (long story – another web site) fine German engineering and style was dubbed Bruce, so I made a joke that bombed. Have a good one Bruce and good luck moving the cars.

        • Bruce


  • Joe Btfsplk

    I suppose folks wouldn't be interested if he showed the cars as they most likely are… covered in bird shit and dust with flat tires, missing parts and dented bodies. And, let's not forget the Florida sunburned interiors and peeling paint.

    • Bruce 305-244-5790

      Come on Joe…lighten up. The cars are stored in a warehouse and most are covered. There are several really nice cars and some need a little work. Aside from the parts car all run or can run with little effort. This is a terrific opportunity for someone who wants to make an effort. A little work and the buyer comes out of this deal with several "free" cars. But this is a deal for someone willing to do a little work…not sit around on their fat ^ss and crack on things they have no knowledge about. No doubt you are a tea party republican! And from the Midwest. Gag me!

      • BobWellington

        Not sure why you need to bring politics into it.

  • BlackIce_GTS

    Anyone interested in a group buy? I can take one, maybe two if there's a few buyers in the exact opposite corner of the country (to which I am adjacent) and we get a good deal on shipping.

    Not too picky, I'd buy any of these with a roof. Or the Lotus.

    • Bruce

      Incredible deals in shipping right now out of Florida to the north. Snowbirds are flocking her by the thousands. The contract sometimes three years in advance to ship their cars. Lots of trucks leaving Florida empty. Right now $350 to NYC…$300 to Chicago. $150 to Atlanta. Next spring ad a thousand to those numbers!

      • Bruce

        Sorry for the typos!

    • Bruce

      If you get together a group buy I will apportion the prices to match the $25000 package price and facilitate shipping.

    • C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

      Dude, no kidding!!!

      I'd happily give both the '91 Jaaaaag XJS 'vert and the '94 XJS V12 a home, as well as both 560 SECs.

      Between the four of them, I should be able to keep at least one mobile, at all times.

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