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Weekend Edition Craigslist: A Smart fortwo with Balls. Lots of Balls.

Pete Gaines March 2, 2013 All Things Hoon 21 Comments

WHY WHY WHY WHYSomeone did this on purpose.

[Editor’s Note: Ladies and Gentlemen, THE Pete Gaines…]

Dogs. Balls. Dogs. Balls. Smart fortwo. Dogs. Balls. I…I…there are just so many questions. Not necessarily questions I want answers to, but questions nonetheless. Let’s work through this together.

1) An observation. You don’t see a lot of Smart cars in the venerated pages of Craigslist. That’s why this stood out in the first place. Smart fortwo owners – I could be wrong on this, I try not to associate with Smart car owners – seem like the kinds of people to deal exclusively in trade-ins and with dealerships. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

2) It’s a “Smart fortwo Passion.” Nothing says automotive passion like a Smart fortwo.

3) Balls. Balls everywhere. Balls. Balls!

4) Dog. Who doesn’t love a dog? Nobody, that’s who. But, um, why is there a vinyl retriever wrapped on the side of a 2013 car with 700 miles on it in southeast Minnesota? NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

5) “Just need to move out of my garage.” At least it’s got standard-issue Craigslist excuse making. I suppose “wife wants me to get rid of my toys” wouldn’t work as well here.

It's Got BallsWARNING: Must have serious balls, or serious lack thereof, to drive this.

To recap:
A 2013 Smartcar in southeast Minnesota.
With 700 miles on it.
Covered in dogs and balls (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH “DOG BALLS.”)
On Craigslist. In Chicago.

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS. So few answers. If you buy it, lemme know, OK? This totally seems like a Hooniverse-demographic purchase.

  • Wolfie

    Subliminal message? Could this car be a Dog? So many questions so little time. Ran when parked?

  • $kaycog

    Yes, that would take serious balls to drive. This one would take more seriouser balls to drive.

    <img src="http://www.lotustalk.com/forums/attachments/f152/47010d1170803259-2008-smart-fortwo-deposit-hello_kitty_smart_8_500.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

  • Devin

    [youtube s0C6pxzx52I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0C6pxzx52I youtube]

  • Maymar

    I dig the Fortwo. My wife and I both love dogs. I'd drive this. I mean, I'd rather have the Mr T. Smart, but I'm down with something this odd.

    I might be afraid of a misguided Great Dane trying to play fetch with it, but hey, that's not so bad.

  • Manic_King

    This is the Smart photo thread yes?

    <img src="http://www.upload.ee/image/3115491/gulf_smart.jpg&quot; width="588">

  • Roberto G.

    With an MSRP from $12,500 to $18,000 and the cost of removing the wrapping (because you would remove the wrapping, wouldn't you?), it's not a big deal.

  • njhoon

    My guess is that it was won in a contest, he or she drove it until the novelty wore off. Now it is time to recoup the taxes he has or will pay on it.

  • Craiglist excuse: Buster died in car accident trying to catch a ball.

  • Devin

    I know of at least one Smart forTwo customer I want to associate with! He's also got an E-type.

  • I don't know what it is about this car, but that damn dog has been chasing me all day.

  • Hey, Pete Gaines too! We almost have the complete set.

    And the Smart? Could be worse. It would be almost completely valueless if it said Rover on it….

  • Kris_01

    With the colour and the ball motif, and the dog…. I wonder if this wasn't a PetSmart promo vehicle.

  • "Smart fortwo owners – I could be wrong on this, I try not to associate with Smart car owners – seem like the kinds of people to deal exclusively in trade-ins and with dealerships."

    Well, inasmuch as this guy:

    <img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3223/2802778951_d6fff60d1a.jpg&quot; width="400">

    is, in fact, this guy:

    <img src="http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/255894_10150230347574495_7159421_o.jpg&quot; width="400">

    I'll have to say yes, you may be wrong.

    As shown in the second photo, however, he does have big balls. Later that same day I helped paint the larger of the pair yellow.

    • Vairship

      It's good to see that in the second picture he removed the tarp from the rear-most hoop. Now approaching tear-drop shape, I'm sure the aerodynamics were much improved…

      • Actually the photo was taken just as Pete arrived at the track, before he got out and noticed the canvas had worked itself free on the way. He was chagrined to find its condition immortalized like this, but I think it adds to the charm.

  • Andy

    Some people really like playing fetch with dogs. The owner of this car just happens to like it a little more than other people. In my opinion it is 100x more tasteful than putting an aftermarket spoiler on a honda or installing a fart can on a 4 cylinder car.