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Hooniverse Asks- What’s the Worst Auto Dealership Name You Have Ever Seen?

Robert Emslie March 1, 2013 Hooniverse Asks 73 Comments

Dick Beard

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Thus rationalized Juliet her clandestine booty calls with a member of her family’s arch rivals. Only a teenaged girl could make such an argument. I on the other hand would argue that names are important, especially when one is counting upon one in the attempt to sell something.

I recently heard a story about restaurants trying to pass off pig rectums as fried calamari. I shit you not. It seems that as fried calamari doesn’t have all that distinctive a flavor – typically being smothered in cocktail sauce or lemon juice – the diner’s experience mostly comes down to texture. There apparently isn’t that big a difference in that attribute between sliced up squid and a pig’s poop chute, when similarly prepared. Still, if instead of calamari on the appetizer menu they listed  “fried pig bung” I think that pretty much everybody would choose the mozzarella sticks instead.

I bring this up because such unfortunate names can taint (sorry about that) the relationship between car buyer and seller. Now, car dealers like Kal Worthington have nothing to worry about, as who doesn’t want to go see Kal, go see Kal, go see Kal, and maybe watch him eat a bug? It’s a whole ‘nother thing entirely to have to admit you bought your Impala from Dick Beard. No offense, Dick. 

That’s just one questionably chosen dealer name that might have you looking at the competition, have you come across others that seem equally as poorly considered? What is the worst car dealership name you’ve ever seen?

Image source: Socialphy

Currently there are 73 comments on this article:

  1. Ansible says:

    Does it have to be a car dealership? Hearing ads for this RV company growing up, always confused me.

  2. Maxichamp says:

    There is a local used car lot called Nemesis Motors.

    • IronBallsMcG says:

      The town certainly adds a little extra.

    • Devin says:

      Of course they painted it as a rainbow, of course.

    • TX_Stig says:

      Ha! I was thinking about posting that one. They're still in business down in Dickinson.

      • marmer01 says:

        Yes, they sell Subaru. too. Back when I was growing up down there they would put a metal dealer logo on the cars with the word "GAY" in large capital letters and "Dickinson, Texas" on the next line in much smaller letters. It was quite common to see Pontiacs and GMC's driving around where the G-A-Y had been deliberately broken off and "Dickinson, Texas" was still visible.

        • TX_Stig says:

          Indeed. The best ones were the Azteks. There seemed to be a disproportionate number of those that were sold at Gay.

  3. pj134 says:

    <img src="http://www.prlog.org/10509323-brown-daub.jpg&quot; width="300">

    It's always sounded like an incontinence issue to me.

  4. engineerd says:

    <img src="http://i21.ebayimg.com/07/s/000/77/63/df4c_1.JPG"&gt;

    I don't want to know what it caught on.

  5. chrystlubitshi says:

    I know it's RVs, not standard automobiles; however that just makes the name that much worse.

    <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3qiteJ-yxK4/T767A4kycpI/AAAAAAA4VK4/il23S26tteM/w350-h100-n-k/photo.jpg&quot; width="500">

    <img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sKRvUqpt9Qs/UNYL1ZildwI/AAAAAAAAAwM/wcIHaZZdow8/w179-h100-n-k/2012-12-22&quot; width="500">

    EDIT: and now I read the very first comment posted… sorry for the duplicate. I like the first pic with the slogan "where fun begins"

    • TurboBrick says:

      LOL… "Where the fun begins!"

      Yeaah… so I decided to buy a boat instead, because I didn't feel like getting bent over the sawhorse by the folks at the RV dealership…

  6. Impalamino says:

    I'm partial to the Dick Witham chain of dealerships in northeast Iowa.

  7. I always thought this was silly.

    <img src="http://pictures.dealer.com/f/fbgroup/0184/174f85e040463872015ad36df9bf661c.jpg&quot; width="400">

    I guess I shouldn't talk though, my father had a short lived company called Buy-Wise products. Yep, owl logo and everything.

    • pj134 says:

      I worked for a Freddy dealership for a few years. He's pretty damn nuts and, while he doesn't exactly sound like Nixon, everyone's impression of him does.

      I used to walk around the store singing the slogan, "Get to know Beeeeeeeaaaaaaannnnnnnsssss!……..FREDBEANS!" impersonating him. It cracked me the hell up anyway.

    • zsvdkhnorc says:

      I regularly buy from Samuelson's Buy-Wise auto parts in Vauxhall, NJ. I don't think they were as short-lived as you thought.

  8. marmer01 says:

    My wife says there was a Flatt Tire company in Des Moines.

  9. I_Borgward says:

    My all-time favorite car dealer name, bar none: Lyman Slack, of Portland, Oregon. Lyman! Slack! I had a prized license plate frame from them on my Wildcat, which I stupidly forgot to remove before selling it. <sigh>

  10. Scandinavian Flick says:

    There aren't really any egregious ones that I can think of around here. Certainly none as great as what's been posted so far. But this one always makes me chuckle a bit when I see it on a new Fit or something…

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/LZEchiM.jpg"&gt;

    Nothing against the Fit, really. Just not exactly what I immediately picture when I hear the term "Manly".

  11. Tanshanomi says:

    Even though it had closed by the time I was growing up in Buffalo NY, people still made jokes about Humpus Motors.

    <img src="http://www.tanshanomi.com/temp/Humpus_Desoto.jpg"&gt;

  12. PotbellyJoe says:

    Kosty's KARS in Paw Paw, MI

    Can't find anything about it now, but when i was a kid in Kalamazoo, I always thought that he could have come up with a more fortunate name…

  13. Batshitbox says:

    <img src="http://www.bostonnightclubnews.com/herbchambers/herb-chambers-flying_1.jpg&quot; width="500/">

    Driving around Boston kinda baked one evening when Vikki riding shotgun chuckles and says, "herb chambers". I'm like, wha..? That car in front of us, it says 'herb chambers'. Couldn't keep a straight face when I saw one for weeks afterwards. Good times.

    Still, I'd rather have herb chambers than the

    <img src="http://www.womenofuniversitycalendars.com/UK_Sponsors/index_files/stacks_image_6.jpg"&gt;

  14. stigshift says:

    TITTY HO MOTOR COMPANY. Game Set. Match. I give you- http://www.tittyhomotorcompany.co.uk/

  15. Tomsk says:

    <img src="http://images.jambase.com/fans/KenGrodyFord/KG.jpg&quot; width="500" />

    Unfortunate surname is unfortunate.

  16. dropgate says:

    My BMW was originally sold here. I took that plate frame off right after I bought it.

    <img src="http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2010/12/13/8025209/PP%20BMW%20Front.jpg&quot; width="600">

    • Scandinavian Flick says:

      Just be glad they didn't put one of those dealer stickers on the paint… I've seen a number of those around here.

    • Mister X says:

      Ha, This guy is purchasing 70 feet at the end of an alley in my small town 3.5 hours N. of San Francisco, a true car guy.

  17. Lou Hall says:

    How about Crook Motor Company? http://www.crookmotors.com/About

  18. duurtlang_ says:

    I used to drive past a dealership run by a guy named Tiny Cox. It was his real name. Clearly his native language wasn't English.

  19. GSP51 says:

    Doesn't exist any more … Wonder why? … and it was actually a very good dealer: Dickoff Chevrolet

  20. Mad_Hungarian says:

    There's a whole bunch of Dick Dyer dealerships in and around Columbia, SC. That's bad enough, but if you go looking for Dick Dyer Mitsubishi you'll find this: <img src="http://admin.nakedlime.com/images/Sites/Site20811/Document/DickDyerMitsu-Moved2.jpg"&gt;

  21. Mad_Hungarian says:

    Then there are the ones that are just too clever for their own good, like Fairlane Ford in Dearborn, and there used to be a Chevy Chase Chevrolet but it appears to be gone now. Pity. Saturn dealers were almost all named "Saturn of [city]", but unfortunately there never were Saturn dealers in Jupiter, FL or Mars, PA that I know of.

  22. jjd241 says:

    A gugle of "funny car names" produced this… http://www.worldwideinterweb.com/item/1848-funnie

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