Quantcast

Home » Last Call » Currently Reading:

Last Call- That’s How My Mom Rolls Edition

Robert Emslie February 20, 2013 Last Call

Mom Rolls

Cruisin’ down the diamond in my twenty-oh-four, jockin’ the bitches, slappin’ the hoes. . . 

Image: ©2013 Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

Currently there are "32 comments" on this Article:

  1. Alff says:

    If you must have a family truckster, this isn't bad. Like the fender treatment. Now, get thee to the painter and have him shoot that door handle.

  2. Scandinavian Flick says:

    I have been seeing an increasingly large number of slammed/modified minivans recently. Especially Odysseys. I suspect that it is due to the more recent population of tuning enthusiasts producing offspring as they grow older.

    I can't bring myself to hate them…

  3. Savant_Idiot says:

    That looks like a third of the minivans here in the San Fernando Valley. Matter of fact, that picture could have been taken here in the foothills North of downtown L.A.

    All the baby mamas be bumpin' in they rides…

    Please forgive the Ebonics/slang/vernacular.

  4. Preludacris says:

    To add to the comments above, this popped up on The Chronicles (arbiter of cool in Honda-land) yesterday.
    <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8235/8487886560_fb0159d7d8_o.jpg&quot; width="600">
    "Meanwhile, in Japan…." <a href="http://stickydiljoe.com/2013/02/18/absolute/” target=”_blank”>http://stickydiljoe.com/2013/02/18/absolute/

  5. stigshift says:

    I read a great line here today from a CL listing. "Rides like shit. Imagine a forklift". I'm sure that done with a proper suspension, one of these would be both pleasant to look at AND drive.

    • Scandinavian Flick says:

      They're remarkably quick now too, with the V6 pushing ~250hp…

      • I Think Not says:

        Yup. Especially once nicely broken in.

        I win the on-ramp merging derby all the time via manual shifting (yeah, I'm that guy) and good timing. Just Monday, I surprised an NA miata driver who didn't downshift quickly enough to beat me to the yield. Even after he woke up (I could hear his fart can exhaust screaming), the Ody continued to pull away. I suspect the Miata's lightness wasn't enough to overcome his power deficit.

        The Ody will pull hard to the top of third (~93), but then acceleration tapers off in 4th and 5th. The disadvantage of such a large frontal area, right?

        I have bumped the speed limiter at 120 once on an abandoned stretch of rural GA interstate. Apart from the wind noise, there was very little indication that the van was working very hard to cruise at that speed.

  6. Rust-MyEnemy says:

    2013; A Stanced Odyssey.

    Like the original it's interesting to look at but difficult to really understand.

  7. POLAЯ says:

    That's not how my mom rolls…

    <img src="http://opinionaided.s3.amazonaws.com/201207/5000f59da2baee095d000012_ref.jpg"&gt;

    It's because of my mom's rolls

  8. PotbellyJoe says:

    I sold a number of Siennas when I was in sales. They were easy to sell and I could convert a lot of Highlander buyers to them. Anyway.

    We had a few customers in NY/NJ that would buy the XLE Limited Sienna and put rims on them along with other modifications.

    I liked them more than the run-of-the-mill Mommy-mobile and quite frankly they were a better all around vehicle than a 4Runner or Sequoia when it came to daily driving. Save the trucks for people who need to tow, or go over things.

    <img src="http://www.airsociety.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/toyota-sienna-auto-customs-bagged-air-ride-suspension-stance-slammed-van-013.jpg&quot; width=500>

  9. I Think Not says:

    Since I still need my minivan as a carrier of people and things, I would likely not lower it (given the budget and the missus' permission), but some 19" BBS CF wheels look pretty great, and I'd put some heavier duty struts and (if available) sways to sharpen the ride up a bit.

    Something about BBS… do they make a bad looking wheel?

    <img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-WuXN318FiG4/USY79Ad9EkI/AAAAAAAADqc/FpXdmz0wTwk/s1016/2005+Honda+Odyssey+EX+with+BBS+CF.png&quot; width="75% height=" 75%'="">

    • $EX¥ HAMMER says:

      needs more wheel, less tire. and i don't ever recommend that. i think you've found the one application that would cause me to violate my principles!

      bbs makes great wheels, some of their designs are better than others depending on the application. in my humble opinion, you would be better off with a more traditional bippu style wheel than the ones pictured above. you should also ditch the mudflaps and roofrack. you can get sideskirts and maybe a front lip, but i'm not sure about the latter as they will probably me made to fit the jdm bumper and not yours.

      lower could be more functional if you manage to do it right. consider ease of cargo loading if the height of the rear deck was a couple inches close to the ground. ingress/egress would be easier for small children and aging dogs. aerodynamics would benefit slightly increasing economy and reducing fuel consumption… feel free to use that when making your case with the missus.

      • I Think Not says:

        Pretty in-depth analysis there, chief.

        But I've never gone for the JDM style wheels, and Kansas roads are nasty, so I really would want some sidewall on the tires.

        As far as lowering goes — the Ody is not a 4×4 as it is. I scrape the front and rear overhangs all the time.

        And I like my mudflaps and roof rack! A van can have nice wheels and upgraded suspension without going full retard.

  10. $EX¥ HAMMER says:

    full retard? what makes you say that? the white JDM van pictured above is 100% and the original picture of the blue/silver one is about 75% there. so full-retard and 3/4 retard by your terminology.

    i think you could probably take it to semi-retard without too much drama. regional roads being objectively better/worse is a common cop-out. my cressida isn't slammed but it's about as low as it can functionally be. 90% of the time that's fine due to what you'd probably call "good roads," but there's always an exception that voids the rule and makes the whole "good roads" vs. "bad roads" a moot point. even if it's man-made i.e. steep driveway or speed bump. or miles of construction with crudely-poured asphalt detours and uneven lanes.

    if kansas roads are that bad, i've seen some badass lifted minivans on mudtires with a much more functional roof rack. not Odysseys, more like Toyota vans from the 80's that came with 4wd. consider trading up to one of those? :D

  11. stephen hood says:

    When Indycar came to Barber Motorsports Park last year, VIPs and others were being shuttled around in tricked out Odysseys. I don't have pictures but they were good looking vans. My wife drives the latest generation Sienna, and I'm pleased with its looks. The proportions seem better balanced than previous generations and it has a more aggressive stance. Its still pretty boring although it does a masterful job of doing what we bought it to do.

Search

Hooniverse Marketplace

Featuring Top 2/2 of vehicles Available in Marketplace

Read more





Subscribe via RSS
Have you visited Hooniverse's Retro Tech site, AtomicToasters?