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Detroit 2013 – Audi RS7 is a ground-seeking missile dressed in a tuxedo

Jeff Glucker January 15, 2013 Car Shows, Detroit Auto Show 22 Comments

Audi RS7

Minus those terrible wheels, the 2014 Audi RS7 is everything I need in a new car. It’s wickedly fast, looks damn good, and seats four people plus gear. I might just steal this car right off the show floor, and drive it back to Hooniverse HQ.

If you don’t find my body, it’s because I tried to jump the Grand Canyon on the way back out West.

  • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

    This is awesome. I really like what Audi brings to the yard.

  • Sjalabais

    Audi and BMW next to each other? If they weren't so damn straight there should be two Germanic titans wrestling on a madrass right between the stands 24/7.

    • Jeff Glucker

      Mercedes is near here too I think, actually.

  • dculberson

    That's pretty dang cool, but the price will be breathtaking, I'm sure.

  • http://roadworkuk.com Rust-MyEnemy

    In side profile, it makes me think of:

    <img src="http://www.oldtimer-tv.com/oldtimer/DE/images/oldtimer/Monica560Proto_Bild0.jpg&quot; width=450>

    Something tells me the Monica would have done quite well if it had arrived forty years later.

  • topdeadcentre

    Performance most people can't use, at a price most people can't afford.

    It's a special car, for a special few. Especially the ones who can afford to pay off tickets, cops, judges, etc…

    The bloggers and commenters will love it endlessly, though!

    (and yes, I have had a rotten day here at work… does it show?)

  • Jay_Ramey

    Deirdre: Larry, tell Vincent what it is you'll need.
    Larry:::shrugs:: Something very fast, like an Audi RS7. Something that can shove a bit.
    Vincent: I'll have it for you this afternoon. But are you sure you'll be able to catch up to the old XM?
    Larry: yeah, I'm pretty sure.
    Vincent: I mean, we could always get something faster for you, with an automatic transmission…
    Larry: nahh, I got it, I mean those are old XMs after all…
    Vincent: well, apparently an S8 with nitrous wasn't enough the last time, sooooo I'm just saying….
    Larry: nah, it's fast enough. It's all good, it's all gravy..
    Vincent: you know it has the tiptronic, so you don't have to fiddle around with the manual this time….

  • http://hooniverse.com/ Batshitbox

    I'm liking the rear end. Nice silhouette. Not seeing the terrible wheels you complain of, there's a quattroporto in the way.

    • JayP2112

      Nice.

  • schigleymischke

    I love my Volvo. I love my Volvo. I love my Volvo. I LOVE MY VOLVO!!!

    (Help me, please.)

  • Wandering Eye

    Chrome wheels. Just so so wrong. Keep it understated. I guess it's an American thing.

  • pj134

    I'm impressed, it will just about run with a CTS-V. Then again, the V comes in a wagon and has an engine that can be mended with a mallet…

    <img src="http://www.egarage.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Canepa-CTS-V-wagon-side.jpg&quot; width=500>
    /gratuitous

    • 0ToTuttiFrutti

      Good point..and the CTS-V wagon will haul a lot more bags of manure.

      But, damn, if the RS7 is sex with Scarlett Johansson, then the CTS-V is sex with a…protractor?

    • schigleymischke

      In this case, I really do love my Volvo. It's nowhere near as fast, but is a real wagon. The CTS wagon is to wagons as the Infinti FX is to SUVs.

    • dan1malk

      Not to mention the Caddy would do all this 4 (!) years ago.

    • KevinKiley

      I would take the Caddy no doubt, and thats a beauuuutiful one. But saying the audi will ALMOST run with it is a little misleading. The Audi will kill it to 60 and through the quarter. The new S8 does 0-60 in 3.5 with more weight and less horsepower. This will likely be a 3.3 second to 60 car…almost a second quicker than the Caddy. Top speed doesnt mean as much in the real world IMHO.

  • Sjalabais

    Still a pity that this looks like an old Mitsubishi Galant. I guess I am going to like it better in 20 years.

  • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

    I like this. I like this a lot. I may empty my 401k to buy one. OK, maybe that's not a great idea. But what is it the kids are saying? YLOO?

  • Andy

    I'd prefer VW W12 Phaeton.

  • Van_Sarockin

    Tremendous accomplishment, I'm sure. But as TDC said, it does nothing for me, and I'm curiously uninterested in it.

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