It’s part three of this now globally acclaimed series where we look at the hype, rhetoric or downright lies perpetrated by promotional brochures over the years.
This week we’re winding the clock back to 1974 and heading for England, where we’ll be learning what British Leyland wanted us to think about one of the most notorious products from that unlamented period.
Holy crap, it’s the Austin Allegro.
Now, fortunately we’re talking post-quartic here, so no ridiculous squared-off steering wheel to be seen in this instance. The rest of the package is still as it was when it was launched a year previously. Which means:
“….A trial run will show you that the car’s advanced mechanical design gives you a smooth, quiet ride right up in the limousine class”.
Oh, the myriad virtues of soft, bouncy hydrogas suspension. To be fair, limousine ride may have been over-egging the prose pudding a little, but at least there was no attempt at implying sportiness in this brochure. The closest they get is:
“…the smooth pulling power of a 1275cc engine and beautifully balanced handling.”
Bear in mind that this brochure only covers the 1100 and 1300 models and eschews the 1500 / 1750 powerhouses, so smoothness and economy were the boasts here, they kept quit about outright performance
Comfort, though, was all the rage.
“…Now look at those luxury features to help you relax on the way home- soft, sumptious seats, door armrests all round, thick pile carpets and parcel shelves front and rear”
I have to say I’d be at a pretty low ebb if my hard day at the office was bookended by a journey in an Allegro, even a 1300 4 door super de luxe, with parcel shelves.
“…Let’s be honest- motoring tends to cost more these days, so you need an especially well-designed car like this one to ensure you get full value every inch of the way.”
Well designed in every single way except for aesthetics and desirability. But, hey, we all know British Leyland were on some pretty strong drugs in the ’70s.
I would never in a million years want to own one of these, not even out of morbid curiosity. But hey, there’s no harm in owning the brochure.
<Disclaimer:- All photos were taken by the author and are of genuine original manufacturer publicity material, resting on the bonnet of a 1998 Audi A4. All copyright rights remain in the possession of the manufacturer, who would frankly be overwhelmed with joy if they thought you showed a blind bit of interest>