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Craigslist Crapshoot

Robert Emslie January 2, 2013 All Things Hoon

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Today we’re inaugurating a new weekly series, one that I call Craigslist Crapshoot. What the hell is that, you might ask? Well, most of us spend an inordinate amount of time scouring the online classifieds for hidden gems, and we invariably have to slog through a sea of automotive detritus whilst doing so. I want that detritus. In fact, I want the most unholy craptastic abominations that could still be called a driver. 

First the rules (yeah, you knew there was going to be rules). The car or truck has to be: some form of running, currently licensed for the road, and. . .  that’s it! Salvage titles, grey market imports, trunk full of roadkill? No problem! They just have to be the worst things you can find. And if you happen to live in a country where Craig currently fails to provide a list, that’s also not a problem either, just give us contenders from your local Craigslist alternative.

We’ll announce the winner, winner, chicken dinner in next week’s post. Links and pics in the comments section below please. 

Currently there are "147 comments" on this Article:

  1. Tanshanomi says:

    EDIT: Nevermind, I forgot the part about "running, currently licensed for the road."

    • HycoSpeed says:

      Some form of running, right? I mean, my Craigslist searches are almost always limited to sub-$1000. That means that somewhere in the neighborhood of 60% of the cars are non-runners, projects if you will. Maybe even more. Where am I to post those if they don't qualify? Like say, a snowmobile with an aircraft engine and a prop sort of like an air boat, that for some reason was residing in Virginia. Hypothetically speaking.

  2. smalleyxb122 says:

    20 pages in, and I was going to give up, until I came to a listing "plow car for sail", which, of course, piqued my curiosity.

    Now, it certainly won't be a contender, but I found it interesting, and, at $950, it seems like a bargain, since it comes with the plow.

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K53Lb3N75T45Fd5R3ccvdf4e9afc83a514ae.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <a href="http://toledo.craigslist.org/cto/3512652752.html” target=”_blank”>http://toledo.craigslist.org/cto/3512652752.html

  3. Scandinavian Flick says:

    Ooh, CL searching is one of my most finely tuned, but least marketable skills!

    The first ones that come to mind that have been for sale for a while…

    This Bagged Kia Sephia:

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/cAOcK.jpg&quot; width="500"> <a href="http://monterey.craigslist.org/cto/3398554756.html” target=”_blank”>http://monterey.craigslist.org/cto/3398554756.html

  4. TurboBrick says:

    This is dangerous for me, I just found a non-running Fiero for $800 and started having too many bad ideas.

  5. smalleyxb122 says:

    After weeding through 20 pages worth of headings to find the Civic plow car, I determined that my strategy needed an overhaul. After narrowing the results to only ads with “custom” in the title, I was not disappointed. Within the first page of search results, I found this gem.

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kd3J13p35Ea5Fe5J1ccgc36a5adb80131303.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <a href="http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3483166405.html” target=”_blank”>http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/3483166405.html

  6. muthalovin says:

    I fear that some of us may actually end up owning the "winners."

  7. dukeisduke says:

    Hmmmm… This could be interesting.

    1949 hudson runs and drives – $2650 (texarkana, tx)

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ea3G23M45Id5K25M6cci15e7b8b19f85161c.jpg"&gt;
    http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3487481707.h

    Guy says he has "…hundreds of other cars from late 40s to mid 60s"

  8. Brad Barratt says:

    Couldn't figure out how to embed the image but here goes:

    http://burlington.craigslist.org/cto/3489486620.h

    Found this on my local VT craigslist. It looks pretty dumb and hardly worth the effort. I do hope the person can move it though. It would be perfect for mudding.

    *edit* Crap, I didn't notice the "needs finishing" part. Sorry!

  9. Tomsk says:

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ie3M33Jc5N15E95K7d127c98436ef4f91537.jpg&quot; />

    Dangerously low asking price? Check.

    Appalling photography? Check.

    Just a few examples of said photography? Check.

    No mention of transmission? Check.

    Not smogged yet? Check.

    Smells like a winner, er, loser.
    <a href="http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ant/cto/3516649406.html” target=”_blank”>http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ant/cto/3516649406.html

  10. Devin says:

    Here we have a '52 Chevy that "runs good" and has a cherry picker.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzIwWDk2MA==/$T2eC16J,!ykE9s7twBh8BQlqbk6CFw~~48_20.JPG" width="500">
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjgyWDEwMjQ=/$T2eC16RHJHwE9n8ihql(BQl,wNRCbw~~48_20.JPG&quot; width="500">
    http://regina.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-classic-c

    I like this game, even if I've bent the rules a couple times already.

    • Scandinavian Flick says:

      Wait, I'm confused. I thought we were supposed to be finding terrible things, not awesome shit…

      • Devin says:

        I just wanted to show it off. Same deal with the free Valiant.

        Though I will say the seller is clearly lying, because it hasn't left that patch of grass for at least a year and now we're in full blown snow time so it's probably under a snowbank at this point.

      • Brad Barratt says:

        The problem is, terrible is subjective to the person who is posting it. I'm not a fan of raised vehicles simply because they stand out like a sore thumb on the road and are likely quite unstable, driven by hillbillies.

    • Mad_Science says:

      It's Mater's older brother!

  11. Scandinavian Flick says:

    YES!! HELL YES!!!!!

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/9KblP.jpg&quot; width="550">

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/BgvWK.jpg&quot; width="550">
    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/ctd/3485080309.ht

  12. Scandinavian Flick says:

    That's it… I quit… I don't want to play anymore…

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/ZvkSR.jpg&quot; width="500"> <a href="http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3509955889.html” target=”_blank”>http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/3509955889.html

  13. muthalovin says:

    Perhaps this stands too realistic a chance of one of us buying

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ke3N53H65If5K35Jad128ad867cf1d041157.jpg"&gt;

    $1100, and the seller says it will outlive us all!
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3516824815.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3516824815.html

    • TheTurboFridge says:

      If that were three hours or so closer, I'd be all over that. 5 speed, wagon, brown. Just needs some volvo steel wheels with the 'V' logo hub caps.

      • craigsu says:

        I'd love to get the story behind that single 940 Turbo wheel on the right rear mated with the other 3 stock steelies. That's a 16" x 6.5" wheel on the right rear and 14" x 5.5" (or 5" since it's an '84) on the rest of the corners. In fact, the left rear looks to be the spare. At least the offsets are all the same.

    • smalleyxb122 says:

      And they clearly don't know how to strap a car down to a trailer. There is a better than zero chance that I will one day own a MKIII Supra. Today is not that day.

      Today is not that day…

      Today is not that day…

      Mustn't search local craigslist for MKIII Supras…

      Dammit.

  14. danleym says:

    Alright, I wanna play. Ford Ranger, $875.

    First pic, not terrible, just a goofy/oversized cowl hood and some silly fake brake vent in fron tof the rear wheels:

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K93M53p45N45E75M4d12e9bff52878601094.jpg"&gt;

    Then the fourth pic:

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ga3L53o35Ld5Fe5Hed12c9967578ca0710de.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516616949.html” target=”_blank”>http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516616949.html

  15. danleym says:

    How about a CJ-5 project, yours for only $12K?

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3k73L83Nc5K85Jf5R0d1251d0e58d32931a84.jpg"&gt;

    Oh, the seller is the second person who didn't complete it, and apparently the first guy had $30K into it (with receipts)! I'm not sure where the 30 grand went.
    <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516391427.html” target=”_blank”>http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3516391427.html

    • smalleyxb122 says:

      When I see an unfinished Jeep for $12k, my initial reaction is that it is grossly overpriced. Reading through the ad, and seeing the rest of the pictures has me second guessing my thoughts.

      I, likewise, have a hard time seeing where $30k might have gone, but I have no trouble seeing $12k in value here.

      • danleym says:

        I agree, if show Jeeps are your thing, I can see this being appropriately priced. But a Jeep that has been two different people's project, and still isn't finished? I'd be hesitant to buy any unfinished project, because you don't know the quality of the work already done, and this just doubles that concern.

      • erikgrad says:

        I agree, I am surprised to find that it is essentially a brand new vehicle (which, mind you, is still not completed). Not my thing, but the right person would definitely pay $12k for all of that.

    • Alcology says:

      The original dude was just honest about the crack portion of the budget.

  16. danleym says:

    Geo tracker, hydraulics, and this picture:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E33G83I85Kd5H75J9ccuf55c9aca6e281a2f.jpg"&gt;
    http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3511793899.html

    Looking for a Barret 50 cal for trade. Won't list a price, but "I know what it's worth!"

  17. danleym says:

    I'm having way too much fun right now, and getting zero work done.

    This one is simply listed as: (((custom truck))). I figured it would be some pickup on 24s, but I wonderfully and splendidly wrong.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E83Ic3N45G15H15S2ccu2259dccd45d31694.jpg"&gt;

    My favorite part is the crudely photoshopped MSpainted picture of what he wanted the project to become:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Mc3F13Nf5G65Fc5Mcccud373012eae5d1738.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3510756010.html” target=”_blank”>http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/3510756010.html

  18. mr. mzs zsm msz esq says:

    Somebody please come-up with a fix for the image and CL link breaking! Maybe like so?

    [a href="CL.html"][img src="CL.jpg"][/a]

    Edit: basic idea works, hard to tell the images are links though… http://hooniverse.com/2013/01/02/hooniverse-asks-

  19. Devin says:

    How about a "rare antique."

    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$T2eC16VHJHoE9n3Ke5MmBQ1M7QCwj!~~48_20.JPG&quot; width="500">

    It's a Renault 16 I have deduced. Apparently it gets 90 mpg somehow.

    Find it here.

  20. Devin says:

    I'm probably enjoying this too much.

    Here's a Geo Tracker. It has a body kit and giant wheels. This is the image the man has chosen to advertise it:
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzUwWDEwMDA=/$(KGrHqZ,!hoFC70ibfGOBQ2PSujm7w~~48_20.JPG" width="500">
    You want?

  21. Sjalabais says:

    I made this super time consuming post with oodles of url's earlier this evening that now appears to have gone away. What happened? Was displayed on my PC, is not on my phobe now.

    • Mad_Science says:

      …and it should be live.

      Give it a CTRL + F5 and your comment should be up.

      • Sjalabais says:

        Let me put a song on your mind as a little thank you:

        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your
        hands. (clap clap)
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, stomp
        your feet. (stomp stomp)
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, shout
        "Hurray!" (hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)
        If you're happy and you know it, then
        your face will surely show it
        If you're happy and you know it, do all
        three. (clap-clap, stomp-stomp, hoo-ray!)

        • Alcology says:

          If you're happy and you know it,
          but start pooping while you show it, diarrhea, clap-clap, diarrhea, clap-clap.

    • Irishzombieman says:

      Last line from the Suby ad:
      "serious injuires only money talkes no bullshit"

      I shall call you next time I hurt myself badly, like maybe when I, say, gash myself open on the used exhaust bit you mysteriously chose to show in your last pic:

      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Lc3F53Mf5Kb5Hc5Jdcc45146f896034a1d47.jpg&quot; width=300>

      • danleym says:

        I ran across an ad when I was searching that I wanted to post simply for the last line, but the car was nothing abnormal so I didn't. The last line, though, was:
        "I don't answer numbers I don't recognize, so if you call leave a detailed message and I might call you back"

        Damn, if I want this particular relatively generic car I better leave a damn good message, other wise he might not think my money is good enough for him.

    • Alcology says:

      Jesus, people get tired of cutting each other up down there and start cutting up cars? that vega wagon is crazy though!

  22. Devin says:

    Call me crazy, but shouldn't one put at least one daytime picture of a vehicle up?

    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjQwWDYzNg==/$(KGrHqRHJDoFCj+PHZfJBQvuQRMK+Q~~48_20.JPG"&gt;
    But at least you get… whatever this is? It's glowy and blue.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjQwWDYzNA==/$(KGrHqZHJCIFC0R1HmOqBQvuQ0P3ig~~48_20.JPG"&gt;

    At least it's a "limited edition".

    I'll stop now.

  23. Mad_Science says:

    Probably hit the spam queue.

    Long post, lots of links and images from a user with no account tricks the filters.

    BRB, going behind the scenes…

  24. Tomsk says:

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E43Fd3H95E15H35M5cck21a370951e1a13de.jpg"&gt;

    For $5,500*, how can you possibly go wrong?

    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cto/34924523

    *Plus about four times that to keep it on the road for the next, oh, month.

    • danleym says:

      While tempting, anyone considering purchasing it should be required to watch the following (and the other parts of that series):
      [youtube lx0S3cIW-q8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx0S3cIW-q8 youtube]

      If you still want it after that full and proper warning, by all means go ahead.

      *Disclaimer: I still want it after that warning, if only because of a V12 for $5500.

      • P161911 says:

        If you really want a cheap V-12 just get a 750iL. Those can be had for less than $2k and offer the same upkeep nightmare without the 2-door style for much less. I traded my 87 Bronco for a 88 750iL. I later traded the BMW for a 79 Ford Ranchero. About a year later I saw my old BMw on Craiglist for $1500.

    • Van_Sarockin says:

      Sign. Me. Up.

  25. zsvdkhnorc says:

    A pair with no photos.

    "1944 chevy motor and chasity – $600 (somerset)" http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/3396539939.html

    "JEEP!!! – $600 (Flemington Nj)" http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/3444444901.html

    And a tragedy:
    1958 cadillac coupe parts car – $1000 (Howell nj) http://cnj.craigslist.org/cto/3496379945.html

  26. TheTurboFridge says:

    Me and a few friends send each other CL automotive postings, each trying to one-up the other on our finds.

    My secret? I bebop on over to the automotive section, and then simply search for 'LOL' in the postings.

    You can bet for sure that most of the results you dredge up with 'LOL' are going to be pretty good.

    • JayP2112 says:

      How convenient
      The Lotus can also serve as the CASKET when you inevitably die in this four-wheeled soul eater.

    • jeepjeff says:

      Yikes. That's well past Veyron power-to-mass and closing in on 917/30 territory. My vote iswas (see below) still with the Camel Tow, but only because there is a small amount of sort-of-want here.

      Scratch that, I just went and looked through the ad.
      – 383 SBC
      – It has a Carburetor (blowthrough, though, so no fuel in the turbos)
      – Jaguar IRS with LSD
      – TH350 transmission.
      – The fit and finish of the hood. Ugly nose cone.
      Do NOT want. You are back in the running.

    • name_too_long says:

      Anything with 750-1100 hp that weighs 2400 lbs contains some quantity of want. It may not be made of pure want like if it had a manual transmission and fuel injection, but the want is still there.

  27. m4ff3w says:

    http://cleveland.craigslist.org/cto/1624667476.ht

    '85 Maserati Biturbo (twin turbo intercooled) with 37K miles, titled, needing minor restoration (wiring, exhaust, seat covers, one turbo rebuilt) for $2,500.
    '72 Lotus Europa racecar, not street legal (bill of sale only) rebuilt RARE twin-cam BIG VALVE enging with dual WEBER head, rebuilt and powder-coated trans, frame redone, most fiberglass done, new windshield, most parts to finish. Dynoed engine according to previous owner. Minilites, fender flares, built-in roll bar, and will make awesome track car when done. $5,000

    '77 Matra Bagheera S — 3-seat mid engine sportscar, titled, likely only RHD Matra here in the US, Hodec conversion from England and still has its English license plate on the front. small crack in corner of windshield, 4-speed SIMCA engine, Campagnelo wheels, sunroof, GT unibody fiberglass bonded to metal, needs interior freshening and tires, awesome performance. $5,000

    Might trade for backhoe with trailer, 4x4ATV, Harley, or combination cash and partial trade. Don't need a job, so don't ask….

  28. salguod says:

    $100K get's you the most absurd bike hauler ever. A 2000 Peterbuilt with a platform for a single custom Harley where the 5th wheel should be:

    <img src="http://imagescdn.dealercarsearch.com/Media/552/379_02.jpg&quot; width=500>
    <img src="http://imagescdn.dealercarsearch.com/Media/552/379_09.jpg&quot; width=500>

    Other nifty details:

    "Two Additional Aluminum Fuel Tanks Right Side Fuel Tank Converted to Beer Cooler" – Of course.
    "Party Deck on Back of Peterbilt" – Sure
    "Hand Tooled Trucker Girl" – I'm sorry, what?
    Plus 44 mag gun cylinders for the truck brake pulls, and the foot pegs and handlebar grips on the bike.

    Makes perfect sense and absolutely worth $100K, right?

    It's also on Crag's list here.

  29. salguod says:

    1927 Model T Rat Rod. Well, sort of. It's a '99 Toyota frame with a 2.8 V6 & auto from an '82 S10 and various home made bits. I assume there is something there somewhere from a Model T. Only $3500 (or trade) and it is 'strett legal'

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G73F73Mc5Le5E55M7cc172e7e16248df18a7.jpg"&gt;

  30. salguod says:

    Another Rat Rod, or maybe a lead sled or 'the real santa sleigh', he can't seem to decide. 1937 Pontiac, not clear if it's a real 4 door convertible or a de-roofed sedan. Surprising that it's still available at the $6500 price.

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E53L73N75Z55Kf5S6ccac3336b5f032919b2.jpg"&gt;

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