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Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1965 Skoda 1000 MB Sedan Edition

Jim Brennan December 18, 2012 Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest 126 Comments

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of postings that are set to go off at this time every Tuesday, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. Let’s see you try and come up with a clever caption for this week, and if you haven’t participated, isn’t it time for you to do so?

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Last week, we had an image of a Dutch Family ready for the road, and the comments were great. One of our longtime fans, Rust-MyEnemy, actually came close to winning the contest this time with this great exchange: “Do we look cool in our little Dutch automobile? No. We look DAFt.” Rusty, that was very funny.

However, there was an unexpected winner this time around, and it was kind of a setup… I guess there was a new commenter, Kyle, who didn’t really like my tone in the original posting where I describe the occupants of the little Dutch conveyance as looking like they’re on hallucinogenics. That set up this line from Kyle: “Please stop with the thing about dutch people and drugs. A greater percentage of americans used drugs than dutchy’s” No, that wasn’t the winner, but the retort from Alcology was: “That’s a weird thing for grandpa to say while driving.” Congratulations Alcology for winning last weeks contest.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is an advertising Post Card image for the 1965 Skoda 1000 MB Sedan, with a woman in smart looking rain gear flagging down the driver… with her shoe! Yes, it is all staged within a photo studio, but what could this image possibly mean? Would this be the normal way in which Czeck women get attention from their husbands (or possible boyfriends)? If she is in a rain coat and scarf (one thinks it would be raining), then why is the driverside window open in the Skoda, with the driver literally hanging out of it? Is this really a good image to sell a Skoda anyway?

(You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after being flagged down in Prague ourselves, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this intriguing image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

  • onrails

    Having slyly escaped unnoticed this morning, Bob was betrayed by the flooded carburetor in his Skoda and now had to follow through on his "Suuuure I'll take you out on the town in the morning, Stella…er, Stephanie…er, Samantha! You just be ready to go nice and early."

  • Devin

    Skoda: The only way to get around purgatory.

  • Devin

    "Hi young man, do you know the way out of Silent Hill?"

  • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

    No clever comment. Too wowed by awesome fender vents.

    • http://roadworkuk.com Rust-MyEnemy

      Skoda Mondial?

  • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

    A woman waving her shoe at a Skoda. One is reliable communist transportation technology … the other is a Skoda.

    • http://roadworkuk.com Rust-MyEnemy

      Ding Ding Ding!

  • $kaycog

    Good job, Alcology! Here's a cute DAF for you and also some flowers.

    <img src="http://www.philseed.com/images/daf58b.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    • Irishzombieman

      That made me laugh. Loudly. Nicely done, Alcology!

      You prize: A sixer of finely-monikered Belgish brew. I don't know if it's any good, but the name makes me giggle. Enjoy!

      <img src="http://www.theibug.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/hoegaarden.jpg&quot; width=450>

      • Devin

        I enjoy Hoegaarden quite a bit, but I know people who hate it.

        • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

          Count me as one who is not a fan of white beers.

          • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

            That's racist!

            • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

              Indeed. Heil Reinheitsgebot!

              • Vavon

                Hahaha!

              • http://www.Hooniverse.com Jeff_Glucker

                BOO EXPAND YOUR BEER PALATE!

                • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

                  I've been accused of many things … a limited palate for beer is not one of them. But I know what I like best.

                  • Devin

                    I'd never dream of forcing a white beer on someone who doesn't like them. Partially because people are constantly trying to foist drinks I don't like on me (I hate coffee, which people are surprisingly unwilling to accept) and partially because it means more white beers for me!

                • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

                  I've tried wheat beers, some I like, but man the gas they give me! So I avoid them mostly now.

                  • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

                    This is "white beer", typically brewed with coriander and citrus peel. I believe it's a Belgian thing.

                    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

                      Well then I may try it, thanks!

                    • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

                      Go for it. I hope you enjoy it more than I do. Every time I have some (the Mrs. brought home a sixer of Hoegaarden just a couple of weeks ago) I think, "Why did they do that to perfectly good beer."

                    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

                      Well I got a six pack as well, and IT IS WHEAT BEER! I drank two last night and this morning paid for it a bit. Anyway it's different enough to share this Christmas at least. I did pick-up a wine bottle sized Gulden Draak, that's an MZS Holiday tradition! http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/48/155 Going to be taking a few days off soon here, so if I miss you, Merry Christmas and a joyous new year to you and your clan Alff!

                    • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

                      Likewise to you and your family, my friend. Gulden Draak has just made my list. Although I have a broad appreciation for beer, I am a bit of a purist. If I want fruit, berries or other grains, I'll have them on the side.

                      I hope the holidays treat you well. Be good to yourselves, and to each other.

      • http://www.Hooniverse.com Jeff_Glucker

        I believe it's actually pronounced Who-Garden … still, knowing that I call it HOE GARDEN

    • Alcology

      Cheers! I thought the lady in pink was a witch until I saw the bird bath.

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        Congrats Alcology, it was funny and a wonderful example of the kind of self policing and otherwise ignoring that can keep this place the joy it is to read! Have a bottle of the good stuff!

        [youtube Yd8m5fcUY8U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd8m5fcUY8U youtube]

        I don't have time to write a good caption today, but the image this week makes me think "When a Czech weds a Pole" but I bet that makes little sense. In Czech weddings there is a nice tradition where the pretty young ladies remove a shoe and if a man puts money into the shoe, she will give him a dance and maybe even a peck on the cheek. Then all the money goes to the new bride and groom.

        The video above is a Polish wedding road block, though in our family it's the groom that does the drinking past the blockade :D Basically there is a procession to the church for the wedding and friends and family set-up these barriers, often they are funny like this. One of my cousins cannot remember even saying "I do," well in Polish though. It's funny tradition!

      • chrystlubitshi

        i have *NEVER* seen someone successfully sit on the edge of a birdbath….. I bet she's about to knock those pearly whites right the F out of those red… red… what was I saying? oh, right, lips.. yes… (she's a witch)

    • dukeisduke

      Is she holding DAFfodils? Nope, I guess they're tulips. Two cute redheads, anyway.

      • $kaycog

        Excellent!!

      • Vavon

        Her hands are not that big!!!
        <img src="http://www.mclellansautomotive.com/photos/B9579.jpg"&gt;

        • http://hooniverse.com/ Batshitbox

          AHA! I always wondered where this band got their name. From the late '80s when all bands seemed to have unwieldy names like Ned's Atomic Dustbin; before the grunge backlash with it's monosyllabic ethic.

          [youtube OxrFvy3lyg8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxrFvy3lyg8 youtube]

          • Vavon

            Never heard of that band, but that's just hilarious!

  • marmer01

    "Can you help me? Not only did I break a heel, some b*stard stole the front clip of my Simca!"

  • http://www.hooniverse.com LTDScott

    "Sorry, I was hoping to flag down a '55 to '57 Chevy."

    • http://www.hooniverse.com LTDScott

      Damn, apparently nobody gets or cares about the shoe box reference.

      • MVEilenstein

        ISWYDT.

      • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

        Never heard that term applied to the tri-fives. To me a shoebox is a '49-'51 Ford.

  • $kaycog

    "Out of gas, Boris? You're such a heel to make me walk to the gas pumps. What a soulless loafer you are."

    • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

      Hold your tongue.

      • fodder650

        I find your joke falls a little flat. You must be a loafer not to try harder Alff.

      • $kaycog

        Are we going to have a scuffle?

        • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

          Not me. I toe the line.

          • $kaycog

            I see that you're very straight-laced.

            • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

              Unlike Alff. He's my arch enemy.

              • $kaycog

                Yeah, he can be such an ass……….I mean mule.

                • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

                  Geta life, you two.

                • Vavon

                  Alls these puns are getting me pumped up…

                  • $kaycog

                    Are you sure someone didn't spike your tea?

                    • Vavon

                      No, we are just all stars!

                    • chrystlubitshi

                      moby reference? (didn't expect to see that here)
                      [youtube x1rFAaAKpVc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1rFAaAKpVc youtube]

                    • Vavon

                      No, it was a shoe reference… But I won't boot you out for this!
                      <img src="http://www.modeheksen.dk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Converse-all-star-sko.jpg&quot; width=500>

                    • chrystlubitshi

                      I know, Ms. Vavon, I was just making a bad joke…. Knot successfully

                    • Vavon

                      Dude! I'm a dude! Just like Ms. Martin…

                    • chrystlubitshi

                      DUDE! I KNOW. Just like Ms. Martin… sorry you didn't get the sneaky compliment hidden in there. I just need to stop typing… i'm not having any luck these last couple of days.

                    • Vavon

                      HAHAHAHA!!!

                    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

                      Hey, I saw that on Sole Train!

                    • $kaycog

                      Let's try real hard not to cobble things up here.

                    • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

                      Hopefully we can get them to put a sock in it.

                    • $kaycog

                      But you know how it goes sometimes………..open mouth, insert foot.

                    • Vavon

                      Is that how you get foot and mouth disease???

                    • $kaycog

                      Very corny, Dr. Scholl.

                    • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

                      What a croc that is.

      • Scandinavian Flick

        <img src="http://i.imgur.com/xme6g.jpg&quot; width="500">

    • Vavon

      STOP IT! You're clogging up the internets!

      • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

        We may get booted off.

      • $kaycog

        My, that was a shoddy comment.

        • Irishzombieman

          Do I like these pun wars? I flip-flop from one day to the next.

          If I get too stressed out about it, I'll get out my guitar and thing a thong.

          • $kaycog

            I hope you slip-on something comfortable when thinging that thong.

          • Vavon

            You mocassing whilst you play the guitar???

            • fodder650

              This thread is keeping me on my heelys. Ready to run at a moments notice.

              • Vavon

                I guess you won't be needing these then…
                <img src="http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/2068/2068691asn43bh8aq.gif"&gt;

                • chrystlubitshi

                  (heel click) "there's no place like home…" (heel click) "there's no place like……… vegas…." (heel click) "there's no place like……….. hookers… "

                • http://hooniverse.com/ Tanshanomi

                  Like hell those are.

  • Van_Sarockin

    Well, just look at that- in the right hands, your scarpa can get you a Skoda. But don't tell mama, or she'll give you a skolding.

  • Irishzombieman

    Eastern Block Wizard Of Oz:

    Oh no! Wicked Warlock Of West is come get me!
    I must wave Coal Slippers in air and say,
    'No place like Hradec Kralove! No place like Hradec Kralove!' "

  • tempesjo

    Nosy Neighbor #1: It looks like Alice had yet another gentleman visitor last night.
    Nosy Neighbor #2: Get a load of that symmetrical little car he has. It looks like he's coming and going.
    Nosy Neighbor #1: Yeah, it's a new Skoda. And you're right, I doubt we'll see him again either.

  • Irishzombieman

    Heeeeeeeeey! Young Babushka!

    bump ba-dump bump bump ba-dump bump

    Skoda Style!

  • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

    Ever hear of a shoe-horn? No. You are new to the internet, I see.

  • fodder650

    This will work as a better brake then the shoes on that thing.

  • Paul E

    The Skoda 1000 MB : The car for the well-heeled.

  • Alcology

    You can tell this ad is from Czechoslovakia. In Poland, they use a left shoe to flag a ride.

  • Vavon

    For the safety of our comrades all Skodas come with state of the art brake shoes!

    • Rover1

      Your comment explains Skoda's slow conversion to discs. ; )

  • dukeisduke

    Immortalized for the ages, the beginning of Prague Spring.

  • wisc47

    "You better Czech to see why your Skoda is Stalin."

  • http://o2richenvironment.blogspot.com/ engineerd

    Я буду торговать вы обуви для вашего автомобиля, товарищ.

    • UDman

      That was very clever engineerd…

    • fodder650

      And we have a front runner for this weeks caption.

    • Vavon

      Good job! To help the others, it reads: I'll sell you shoes for your car, comrade.

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Please stop with the thing about Czech people and Cyrillic. A greater percentage of Bulgarians used Cyrillic than Czech's.

      /sorry ;)

      • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

        That's a funny thing for a hitchiker to say as she's flagging down a car.

        • Vairship

          Besides, everybody knows those Bulgarian Checks bounce!

  • Irishzombieman

    "Thank God," thought Anezka. "Finally some help!"

    But as the little blue Skoda got closer, she saw that the driver was a robot and realized, belatedly, that she was dressed in a manner that made her look like the navigation pylons lining the side of the road that the autonomous driverbots drove over to fix their position.

    "Dang," she thought, then thought no more.

  • dwbf11

    Ivana grew tired of Pavel's science experiments with Soviet shoes and lightning, but she could not turn her back on the most eligible bachelor in the village. Secretly, she planned her escape to Moscow.

  • Sjalabais

    Being confused about front and rear of the car, Pavel didn't manage to drive away from Eva. A wedding was now inevitable.

  • http://www.Hooniverse.com Jeff_Glucker

    I'm sorry big boy… you drive a Skoda, I don't think you can afford a Shoe Job. Nevermind a ZJ…

  • http://www.sub5zero.com/ Tomsk

    Valentina's flashing career came to an abrupt end when she flagged down the wrong blue Skoda.

  • I_Borgward

    Did she say "stop and I will marry you" or, "stop or I will bury you"?

    • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

      The latter. He's answering, "Get back in the kitchen, Nikita".

  • chrystlubitshi

    This is totally the wrong use of "shoe-ting brake", it's a sedan

    (or with the "MB" in the name there, even though it's a Skoda, it might be a coupe) (though technically I think saloon is most appropriate)

  • http://hooniverse.com/ Batshitbox

    "Dizzy broad…"

  • skitter

    It's time to defy the image-sensitive message of Cinderella. Even if someone else spent more on their shoes than you did on a car, you walk in there like you own the place.

  • http://roadworkuk.com Rust-MyEnemy
  • Van_Sarockin

    Years later, an attempt to recreate this poignant tableau would end in and abrupt tragedy, when the future Laura Bush fatally misjudged her stopping distance.

  • Rover1

    Jaruzelsky the photographer sighed; ,after she had started disrobing by taking off her shoes there was only one picture in the series that could be shown on Hooniverse.

  • gessvt

    "Don't tell me that Chief got you a shoe phone too."
    "Max, Chief got me a shoe phone!"
    "I asked you not to tell me that."

  • Raze1138

    No wonder Skodas haven't sold well in Muslim countries.

  • Gnome

    First comes off the shoe, aaahhhh Skodas alvays makes me vet.

  • mseoul

    Damn, I'm so jammed in this seat and the wheelwell is so intrusive I can't tell if that's the clutch or brake down there!

  • http://www.flowerpowerkc.com Alff

    Can you give me a lift? I have a flat.

  • Vairship

    Svetlana: "Thank God I snuck out of the house before Donald's soon-to-be-ex-wife found us together. Oh, there he is now, ready to give me a ride home!"
    Ivana: "Dressed up like this, she'll never know it's me until it's too late. First I took his money, now his old beater and that hussy he's sneaking around with. Ha ha ha ha!"

  • POLAЯ

    Back in the days of the Bordellos, when ever one of the ladies broke a heel they'd flag down the town cobbler in his Skoda and trade him a gobblin for some cobblin.

  • Scott Evangelista

    If I have to tell you one more time to put it in reverse when I push start you backwards, I’m going to beat the crap out of you with this shoe

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