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Hooniverse Asks- Front-Wheel Drive Burnouts; Brah! Or Blah?

Robert Emslie December 14, 2012 Hooniverse Asks 39 Comments

Burnouts can be awesome – I mean of course the reckless display of tire shredding power kind, and not the dope smoking brother-in-law sort. Thing of it is, automotive burnouts are usually accompanied by copious quantities of smoke as the rubber and asphalt interact, and while in a rear-wheel drive car that’s all well behind you, in a front driver, you’ll be tasting that crap for weeks.

That’s what brings us to today’s question, which is whether or not front driver burnouts deserve the same kind of props as do their more traditional rear wheel-generated brethren. It hasn’t been all that long that front drive cars have had the cojones to even be capable of significant tire shrediffication. The early GM FWD barges – the Eldorado, Toronado and the like – had the power, but their lugubrious gearboxes and blue whale-like weight ensured that unfettered wheel spin was routinely kept in check.

Today of course there are any number of even factory rides that’ll turn tires to smoke faster than Hermoine Granger can fend off a horny Ronald Weasley – Justfriendsamentus!  That being said, just because they can, doesn’t necessarily mean they should. That’s why today I want to know your opinion on the matter. What do you think, are front-wheel burnouts totally Brah! or completely Blah?

Image: [TampaRacing]

  • dukeisduke

    The guy in the shorts and the shades, is that Kellen Winslow Jr.?

    • david

      Is that arrow pointing at the guy in the shorts or the guy behind him wearing the suit lol

  • dukeisduke

    Yeah, I dig FWD burnouts, especially old Toronados and Eldorados.

    In other news, I was saw one of these on the way to work this morning (in the same neon green):

    <img src="http://matchbin-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/public/sites/264/assets/greenrise.jpg"&gt;

    • KaZo86

      My boss owns one of these. All-electric Corbin Sparrow. That's a "pizza butt"; his is a "jelly bean" in blue. It resides in the storefront of my place of business!

      My son is also named Corbin (no relation).

      • dukeisduke might instead have seen a Myers Motors NmG. Either way, I frequently encounter people who confuse these with my HMV Freeway. I obstinately fail to see the resemblance.

        • dukeisduke

          It's the NmG (which stands for No More Gas).

  • As long as it sounds cool, and not like angry bees on speed.

    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/4/678/3889/39194444001_large.jpg&quot; width=550>

    • JayP2112

      [youtube 5Y9WsPiTLQ0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y9WsPiTLQ0 youtube]

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        You know, if he had gotten of that car with a huge grin and yelled something like "Yeehaw!" waving his arms, it really would have changed the tone for the better. I mean, when you've screwed-up so much, you might as well have some fun with it.

        • alain

          humility is the better part of valor! in my book!

        • sporty88au

          Your description of what he should have done reminds me of one at a local car show a few years back. One of the cars, an XD or XE Falcon if memory serves, was doing pretty well, making lots of smoke, when something (I was too far away to tell exactly what) broke fairly spectacularly, with flames and oil smoke coming from under the hood. As the marshals got the engine bay fire under control, the driver calmly got out of the car, climbed up on the roof. and bowed to the crowd.

  • Vavon

    It can be brah or blah… Depends on what FWD… BRAH!!!
    <img src="http://www.suzukituning.com/SuzukiTuning/AltoTuning/Pictures/brc/joris1a.jpg&quot; width="600/">

  • Also, if it is unexpected, it is totally brahz.

    <img src="http://www.loudmouthtim.com/TurboCaravan.jpg"&gt;

    <img src="http://www.turbovan.net/bryburn2.jpg&quot; width=550>

  • Kogashiwa

    I dunno, you tell me.

    [youtube 17ApipI1rGY http://youtube.com/watch?v=17ApipI1rGY youtube]

  • racer139

    My old 95 Volvo 850 t5 use to do a good e-brake burnout. It goes like this: appy ebrake, apply brake, apply throttle to build boost once boost reaches desired level(for that car seven p.s.i was all It would attain with the brakes on), let brakes off quickly and sit there and take in the sights and sounds. That car was a tire eater and would spin then up to about 45-50 mph while moving.

    • racer139

      Oh yeah its brah only if no one is holding the car back

  • DemonXanth

    Potentially brah, but frequently blah. The whole "get a ton of guys to hold the car back" thing just seems dumb to me.

  • I may be in the minority here, but I think burnouts of any kind (yes, including drifting) are a waste of rubber. Any time your tires lose traction, you're losing speed, and isn't speed the point of performance cars and driving?. All show, no go. Besides, I know how much tires cost and it just seems like a waste of money.

    Now get off my lawn!

    • MVEilenstein

      Which is why I don't like drifting.

    • At the drag strip, of course they're cool, because they have a purpose. On the street, they're kind of weak. If you want to show how fast your car is, why not just get busy going fast?

  • Number_Six

    Totally lame and yet the time my buddy test drove a brand new Honda CRX Si and made it completely disappear in tire smoke was awesome.

  • I think front wheel drive burnouts are brah but not quite as much as RWD. I bet there's a conversion factor to be calculated based on many factors such as driver attire, socioeconomic status, vehicle livery, and of course, index of effluency. Perhaps Engineered or someone else smarter than me (basically any of you) could help come up with it?

    • SSurfer321

      I miss Engineerd's calculations. Those were the good old days. Now all he does is Kitchen Fission.

  • Van_Sarockin

    What K5ING said. The only good reason to spin your tires is so you can get going a bit faster. Or, if you really need to bury someone in a cloud of tire smoke. Anything more and you're wasting tires, gas, time, and your driveline. People who are impressed by burnouts are the kind of people I feel no need to impress. Every time I see burnouts, I wish I owned stock in some tire companies.

  • mnm4ever

    I haven't done a burnout since I was 16, fwd or rwd. They all seem stupid to me now, between the cost of tires, the crap thrown all over your car, and the fact that even a crappy econobox can do one, it hardly seems impressive anymore.

    I do however enjoy when you can chirp the tires in 2nd, 3rd (4th??)… seems more impressive. Sure its immature but not quite as bad as a burnout.

  • vetteman61

    Any time I see a FWD burnout I kind of laugh or at least snicker, so I guess now that I think about the question that answers it for me.

  • mistic192

    at VW Mania each single year there's impromptu "burnout competitions" where they pour a bit of motoroil on the road and then hold the car as shown in the picture above ( until the officials manage to get through the crowd and make everyone leave again :p ) It might look stupid, but there's something very weird about helping to hold a car still on a pool of oil while smoke and pieces of rubber are flying by you and it's doing all it can to get away 🙂 It's actually more fun then doing the actual burnout 🙂

    Also every year at a set time ( when everyone is moving their cars from the showgrounds to the campinggrounds almost EVERYONE starts doing it at the same time so the officials can't stop it, you just flash your 4 blinkers while driving in the "parade" and then suddenly everyone starts honking and people will run out and pour oil on the road in front of any car with blinkers on and then anyone not in a car will help to hold the cars until the whole park is covered in one huge cloud of tiresmoke 🙂

    • mnm4ever

      OK, so wow, now that you have explained it, I guess I see… nah, it sounds even more lame now.

      • mistic192

        You gotta do it with what you have available… since cheap fwd-cars are virtually the most available, that's what most younsters have and that's just the only way to do a burnout in that, to me, it's just as "valuable" as a regular burnout, it's fun to watch, but ultimately a waste of tires…

        I'm 30 nowadays, last time I actually stayed over at VW Mania is long ago ( now I just visit during the day ), but it's a great celebration with thousands of car-enthousiast that all share the love of one brand 😀 And the "everyone against the organisation"-mentality is very special, it's not agressive or anything, just people gently pushing the boundaries of what is allowed, we don't actually stop the officials from stopping the burnout, the crowd will just not part as easily as for a "regular" visitor, for their part, the officials don't throw people out who do them, so it's not like they mind THAT much ( it's part of the lore of the festival after all )

        • Maymar

          That's sort of what I was thinking – if you can't hoon the car you want, hoon the car you've got. Quibble about whether or not burnouts are worth it? Sure. Quibble about what wheels are being burned out? We've got better things to do.

          • mnm4ever

            Oh maybe I wasnt clear, I didnt mean that the FWD burnout was lame, I meant all burnouts were lame. Holding a car back while it does one also seems lame, as does running out and pouring oil in front of a car with its blinkers on to make a bunch of smoke, which if you are using oil to make extreme smoke sort of makes it even more lame.

            But yea, they are kids, and im over 40 now so to me you at 30 are still a kid, and when I was a kid I did a lot of dumb stuff back in the day just because me and my friends thought it was cool, which it wasnt, it was lame. Guess thats why I love my V-dub but I don't go to VW car shows, and I don't try to do burnouts with it. Though it will do a burnout… sometimes much too easily… as long as i remember to disable the traction control.

  • TheTurboFridge

    [youtube 1RzdzbNGCZo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RzdzbNGCZo youtube]

  • I inadvertently light up the fronts on our Mazda5 all the time. El Cheapo tires + torquey 2.5L + used to driving my Falcon = chirpy torque steer all day long. I need to either lay off or blow that transmission all the way up before the warranty runs out.