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Hooniverse Classic Captions – The Classic Volvo PV-444 Edition

Jim Brennan November 13, 2012 Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest 49 Comments

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that appear at this time every Tuesday, and it seems like you’re enjoying this feature, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. We have been getting a lot of participation, so why not join in the fun this week (it’s a really good time, I promise!)

Last week, we had an image of several Catholic School Girls admiring a Chevy, and the comments were both interesting as well as very funny, and not as disturbing as I thought they could have been. Friend of Hooniverse boostedlegowgn came up with this very funny caption: “The Chevy Laguna Type S-3. Its 0 to 60 time isn’t very good, but you’ll get 5 to 10 in a blink.” Very well played boostedlegowgn!.

But the winner this time around is our long time motorcycle enthusiast Tanshanomi, who came up with this puzzling comment: “I gotta take this into the shop. That damn magnet needs recalibration.” You know, I really don’t get it, but the rest of you seem to, so congratulations Tanshanomi!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is a publicity image for the Volvo PV 444. It was one of a series of post cards printed by Volvo in 2004 celebrating their 60th anniversary, and this image has it all… Classic Volvo, Classic Swedish Beauty, Classic Handsome Swedish Dude, and I bet that beverage in the Thermos is Very Strong Swedish Coffee. This must have been one of the three days in which there is a Summer in Sweden, and it is a very classic way to sell a car in any environment. But what do you think of it? (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after looking through old photography to find our own Swedish Beauties, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this Summer in Sweden.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

  • See honey? I told you your Volvo could handle the sand.

  • Honey, you're looking pretty white. You'd better put on some heavy duty sunscreen, or you'll be the same color as the Volvo in no time at all. Even though we're inside on a make-believe beach.

  • $kaycog

    Yay, Tanshanomi, on your win! I have for you a Chevelle SS as shown by this lady whose cups runneth over.

    <img src="http://www.fquick.com/images/pics/7809.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    • Irishzombieman

      Very nice, Tanshanomi, and congrats!

      Depending on your tastes, this prize might require recalibration of your mouth. Many folks I've recommended it to have had their faces twist into knots, but three kept on drinking it and have subsequently become hopheads. Sierra Nevada Torpedo. My current go-to brew. Enjoy.

      <img src="http://www.cherokeedistributing.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/sierratorpedo.jpg&quot; >

      • Have you tried out Sierra Nevada's Beer Camp twelve-pack? It is impressive stuff.

        • Irishzombieman

          Not yet, but it's on my list. I am, though, really looking forward to this year's batch of Celebration Ale. Watch for that in the next couple of weeks.

          • Oh, its awesome. I hope to write a review for it sometime on proofnpudding.com.

            Totally looking forward to all the great winter beers. A local Texas brewery has an awesome burbon barrel aged porter… Good stuff.

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      All these comments here remind me with what was wrong with the last ad, there was sand in the…. <img src="http://www.paulreiffer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Magnetometer_Tromso_Norway_10th_February_2012.gif&quot; width="500"> magnetometer. What'd you expect? Anyway all's calibrated properly now, enjoy the magnet. And really it reminds me, how nice it is to see sand on the tires of a beach themed ad for once! Doh, this was meant as a congrats to T!

    • I'm starting to wonder if Skaycog is really a girl.

      • $kaycog

        100% girl.

        • …who has strange compulsions both for Ford GTs and for proliferating suggestive photos of other girls. Next thing you'll tell me you have a pet unicorn.

          • $kaycog

            Yeah…..that's me, but no pet unicorn. I used to award alcoholic beverages several years ago. Remember .357? He always awarded sexy girls, and when he quit the program, I took his place. The replies and reactions I get really make me laugh.

  • danleym

    Her: You know, I've had a really fun first date, I like your new Volvo, the coffee tastes great, the beach is lovely, but why are you just standing over there staring at me with a weird grin on your face?

    Him: Oh, I'm just trying to let something settle down, I mean help something settle down- the springs! Yes! I need to put some weight over the front end to help these new springs settle down, the car's sitting kind of high. Yeah, that's it. It's just the, uh, springs, that need to settle down. Nope, nothing going on with me at all…

  • No Sweetheart, this isn't a '47 Ford.

  • $kaycog

    "Björn, you can quit hiding behind the Volvo. I've already seen your umbrella trick."

  • Number_Six

    It wasn't always sunny on the beaches of Skane, but with Agata's husband buried in the sand under the Volvo, she and Jesper really didn't mind.

  • Devin

    Has this ever happened to you? Take a lovely young lady to the beach on your first date, and then your swim trunks tear, right in the crotch! You find yourself awkwardly hiding behind cars, umbrellas, thermoses, anything you can find, because you know she's just not that kind of girl! Never let that happen again with Haggar swim trunks! These fine trunks are made from our patented anti-tear technology, so she won't see what you're hiding, until the time is right, that is!

    • Evidently his windshield isn't the only thing that's split!

  • Sven was thrilled when Frida invited him to the beach. He'd already seen her swimsuit, and he was hoping to get a good look at her Volvo.

  • Irishzombieman

    Still waiting patiently, Volvo, for a PV 666. You might want to hurry up a bit.

    <img src="http://image.toutlecine.com/photos/d/a/m/damien-la-malediction-2-1978-01-g.jpg&quot; width=400>

  • E: Astrid….
    A: Yes dear….Erik..
    E: Let´s go børk! børk! børk! behind the umbrella….
    A: Only if is as safe as our Volvo…

  • Irishzombieman

    So I said to the bosses, "We can't call our car company 'Fjord'. We'll get our asses sued off!" Then Gustav made a horrible joke using an English word for certain female body parts and. . . well, you know how it goes with men drinking vodka. The name just sort of stuck. Even now, you say "Volvo" at directors' meetings and twenty guys giggle.

  • jezeus

    "Damn, I should've bought a Duett."

  • The Volvo P444 makes even Mickey Rooney look tall.

  • Scandinavian Flick

    Pictured: One 50s pinup girl and two Swedish meatballs.

  • Don'tcallmeShirley

    Olga admired Sven's dashing new Volvo while Sven deftly measured the wheel to fender gap.

    • Scandinavian Flick

      I'd be careful about leaning forward too hard…

  • Beaches love the P444.

  • I showed you my Volvo, now it's time for you to show me yours.

  • Irishzombieman

    Trying hard not to make a Ray Wert joke. . .

    • Perhaps you should just make a Roy Wurt joke instead…just a suggestion.

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Please don't, that poor sow doesn't deserve it.

  • wisc47

    No one likes a sandy Volvo, except for Bjorn…

  • boostedlegowgn

    Always a safety leader, here is an early example of a Volvo being used as a contraceptive.

  • [youtube Qf9CC7NXeZQ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf9CC7NXeZQ youtube]

    I'll think up a caption later, until then enjoy some Swedish Chef and Swedish Heavy Metal.

    (And I thought Korpiklaani were Finns)

    • Dean Bigglesworth

      Not sure if sarcasm, but Korpiklaani is indeed from Finland. Since you've heard of them you probably know this anyway, but most of their lyrics have something to do with Finnish folklore and mythology.

      • Yeah, my search criteria were Swedish Chef Swedish Metal and this is what came up. Although the video title doesn't say 'Swedish Metal', that was in my head. I was in a bit of a rush and just threw the parenthetical statement in there to cover my bases.

        I looked up Korpiklaani on wikipedia soon after that and confirmed their Finnishness, but had no time to correct it.

  • skitter

    Why no dear, there's nothing at all on the other side. It's all rocks, freezing water, naked people, and anyway no one you know.

  • <img src="http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Abba-abba-64001_1024_768.jpg&quot; width="500" />

    Ooooooooooo you can drive, you can driiive
    License plate ending in fiiive
    Ooooo see that car
    Hear me preach
    Diggin' the Volvo Beach

  • TurboBrick

    "Isn't the Swedish summer great? It must be 15 degrees Celsius out here!"
    "Åke, stop shivering against the hood and come have a hot cup of coffee while you enjoy the sun"

  • Per and Birgit practice their Volvo 'face' impressions while enjoying the 30 minutes of annual beach weather in Sweden.

  • C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

    They'll never track this license plate number…

  • That's not a Duett and we're not gonna neither.


    "Gee-a Selly, yuoo knoo zee Piffff fuoor fuoor fuoor is Fulfu's furst unee-budy cer."

    "Vhy yes I du, it's elsu pooered by a furty hurse-a pooer oone-a pueent fuoor leetre-a inleene-a-4 ingeene-a deseegneted zee be-a-fure-a-be-a, veet three-a meeen beereengs, ooferheed felfes, und a seengle-a doondrefft cerbooretur!"




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