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Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1974 Chevrolet Laguna Type S-3 Edition

Jim Brennan November 6, 2012 Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest 48 Comments

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that appear at this time every Tuesday, and it looks like our fans are enjoying this feature, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. We have been getting a lot of participation, but last week, not so much… Why not join in this week (it’s a really good time!)

Last week, we had an image of three couples admiring a Hudson, and the comments were both interesting as well as very funny. Friend of Hooniverse, and Atomic Toasters author engineerd opined: “Hudson finally struck marketing gold once they realized their prime demographic included middle-aged heterosexual couples, dirty old men, and young lesbians.” Good One engineerd.

However, the winner this time is our pal Devin (again!) with this witty one liner: “Hudson: America’s Subaru.”

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is an advertising image for the 1974 Chevrolet Chevelle Laguna Type S-3 with what looks like a good looking young couple exiting (or entering) the dashing Red and White coupe, with a class full of Catholic School Girls looking on. You really have to wonder what goes through the mind of the people who approve these images for use in print advertisements. It was a different time, and quite possibly a different planet, but here is the image for the world to see. What do you think these girls were looking at? My guess is that it wasn’t the car. And what do you think the “Mad Men” of the 70s were thinking when using this image to sell a car? Please keep it civil… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after looking through old photographs of our time in Elementary School, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this rather unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

Currently there are 48 comments on this article:

  1. skitter says:

    The Laguna Type S-3 is sturdily constructed with plastic wheels, and powered by two 12V batteries for a top speed of 10 mph in forward or reverse. Looks and sounds* like a real car, perfect for the young adult yearning for the open roads of the housing tract.

    *With optional 8-bit TireTearin' Exhaust Speaker

  2. PotbellyJoe says:

    Any girl at the St. Elizabeth's all girls orphanage will tell you, 1st marriages are for money, 2nd marriages are for love. Here comes their headmistress now with her first husband and the car they drive to "that part of town."

  3. LTDScott says:

    She's only 17*……

    *MPG Hwy

  4. $kaycog says:

    Good job, Devin! Here's a Hudson Hornet for you as shown by this model with the funny shoes.

    <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dy_MIvTSDCw/UF7bEu5HlZI/AAAAAAAAB_0/KwiTMwrasQg/s1600/430465_10151047668841820_1929733565_n.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

  5. Devin says:

    They dream of an idiot.

  6. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat says:

    "Lloyd Dobler is such a loser…look at what his dad drives!"

  7. Tanshanomi says:

    "I gotta take this into the shop. That damn magnet needs recalibration."

  8. Devin says:

    "You know honey, your car is swell and all, but whenever I'm in it I feel all of those Eyes On Me."

    (Okay so Laguna is sending me into a very nerdy place, I can admit that.)

  9. $kaycog says:

    "Let's get out of here, Frank! Those girls are climbing over the fence to get at this Chevelle."

    • boxdin says:

      I just realized they're dissing the "free candy van" they used to have?
      And that was for seducing who exactly???
      And you think a Laguna will be better???

  10. K5ING says:

    <img src="http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s141/K5ING/Misc/lagunaad.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Lagunas were a great chick magnet back then. How do I know? Here is the first brand new car I ever bought…a 1975 Laguna Type S-3.

    <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uyMuld7C57k/TX6hXjYXgJI/AAAAAAAAAls/IaupzdUQmf0/s1600/75Laguna.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://caughtatthecurb.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-fi

  11. Alff says:

    Catholic girls start much too late, and they're not going to make up for lost time behind the wheel of a malaise-era Colonnade.

  12. IronBallsMcG says:

    Yeah, I should probably sit this one out.

  13. vwminispeedster says:

    "The Laguna gets older and malaisier ever year but the school girls stay the same."

    I'm going to hell for this.

  14. topdeadcentre says:

    "I dunno Bobby… Looks like they love your leisure suit, but I think they're on the fence about the two-tone paint job."

  15. muthalovin says:

    The Laguna Type S-3: Hit me, baby, one more time.

  16. Number_Six says:

    "Never mind embarrassing her in front of her students, did you think she was going to say 'yes' to those creepy strangler gloves?"

  17. POLAЯ says:

    Hutch saves his car for after work.

  18. boostedlegowgn says:

    The Chevy Laguna Type S-3. Its 0 to 60 time isn't very good, but you'll get 5 to 10 in a blink.

  19. Alcology says:

    The new Laguna Type S-3 will still be allowed near a school even when you aren't.

  20. engineerd says:

    Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. The 1974 Chevrolet Chevelle Laguna Type S-3 brings all the girls.

  21. danleym says:

    It looks like all those girls like his Laguna, but on Seca glance I think they're just enjoying watching their teacher shut him down.

  22. scroggzilla says:

    St. Mary's School presents their all-girl adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'.

  23. Irishzombieman says:

    The Chevy Laguna S-3: So Awful It's Sort Of Awesome

  24. Van_Sarockin says:

    Because it's hardly a sport with a Camaro.

  25. mr. mzs zsm msz esq says:

    ALL NEW 豊田 Cavalier 1974!

  26. Alff says:

    If you believe in immaculate conception, you'll believe the new Laguna is a fantastic car.

  27. P161911 says:

    "Get away from my car you old lady! You're going to scare these sweet girls away."

  28. Gooberpeaz says:

    The girls of Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt Day School just learned that "head" doesn't always apply to engines…

    (please don't ban me)

  29. mallthus says:

    It's not just Will Ferrell these schoolgirls are excited about.

  30. Tomsk says:

    Chelsea: "I heard he could only afford the 350 because he's paying child support…"
    Grace: "I heard she's the former nanny…"
    Theresa: "I heard he's hung like an orca…"
    Sister Madeline, off camera: "GIRLS! OFF THE FENCE! How many times do I have to tell you to leave my daught…uh, friend Ms. Coburn and her companion alone?!"

  31. Smells_Homeless says:

    The exclusive Chevrolet Laguna S-3 Roman Polanski Signature Edition!

  32. gearhead says:

    All the girls wanted to see her new nose job.

  33. boxdin says:

    Trade in the "free candy van".
    This ad really is about perverts in vans..

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