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Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1974 Chevrolet Laguna Type S-3 Edition

Jim Brennan November 6, 2012 Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest 49 Comments

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that appear at this time every Tuesday, and it looks like our fans are enjoying this feature, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. We have been getting a lot of participation, but last week, not so much… Why not join in this week (it’s a really good time!)

Last week, we had an image of three couples admiring a Hudson, and the comments were both interesting as well as very funny. Friend of Hooniverse, and Atomic Toasters author engineerd opined: “Hudson finally struck marketing gold once they realized their prime demographic included middle-aged heterosexual couples, dirty old men, and young lesbians.” Good One engineerd.

However, the winner this time is our pal Devin (again!) with this witty one liner: “Hudson: America’s Subaru.”

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is an advertising image for the 1974 Chevrolet Chevelle Laguna Type S-3 with what looks like a good looking young couple exiting (or entering) the dashing Red and White coupe, with a class full of Catholic School Girls looking on. You really have to wonder what goes through the mind of the people who approve these images for use in print advertisements. It was a different time, and quite possibly a different planet, but here is the image for the world to see. What do you think these girls were looking at? My guess is that it wasn’t the car. And what do you think the “Mad Men” of the 70s were thinking when using this image to sell a car? Please keep it civil… (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after looking through old photographs of our time in Elementary School, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this rather unusual image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

  • skitter

    The Laguna Type S-3 is sturdily constructed with plastic wheels, and powered by two 12V batteries for a top speed of 10 mph in forward or reverse. Looks and sounds* like a real car, perfect for the young adult yearning for the open roads of the housing tract.

    *With optional 8-bit TireTearin' Exhaust Speaker

  • PotbellyJoe

    Any girl at the St. Elizabeth's all girls orphanage will tell you, 1st marriages are for money, 2nd marriages are for love. Here comes their headmistress now with her first husband and the car they drive to "that part of town."

  • She's only 17*……

    *MPG Hwy

  • $kaycog

    Good job, Devin! Here's a Hudson Hornet for you as shown by this model with the funny shoes.

    <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dy_MIvTSDCw/UF7bEu5HlZI/AAAAAAAAB_0/KwiTMwrasQg/s1600/430465_10151047668841820_1929733565_n.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

  • Devin

    They dream of an idiot.

    • Devin

      For the record, this is a FFVIII reference, referring to a character named Laguna, and I recognize that a reference to a decade old videogame is perhaps going a bit obscure but I did it anyway! And now it's definitely not funny because I explained the joke.

  • C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

    "Lloyd Dobler is such a loser…look at what his dad drives!"

  • "I gotta take this into the shop. That damn magnet needs recalibration."

  • Devin

    "You know honey, your car is swell and all, but whenever I'm in it I feel all of those Eyes On Me."

    (Okay so Laguna is sending me into a very nerdy place, I can admit that.)

  • $kaycog

    "Let's get out of here, Frank! Those girls are climbing over the fence to get at this Chevelle."

    • boxdin

      I just realized they're dissing the "free candy van" they used to have?
      And that was for seducing who exactly???
      And you think a Laguna will be better???

  • <img src="http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s141/K5ING/Misc/lagunaad.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Lagunas were a great chick magnet back then. How do I know? Here is the first brand new car I ever bought…a 1975 Laguna Type S-3.

    <img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uyMuld7C57k/TX6hXjYXgJI/AAAAAAAAAls/IaupzdUQmf0/s1600/75Laguna.jpg&quot; width="600"> http://caughtatthecurb.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-fi

  • Catholic girls start much too late, and they're not going to make up for lost time behind the wheel of a malaise-era Colonnade.

    • Slow_Joe_Crow

      "Only the good die young" was the first thing I thought of too.

  • Yeah, I should probably sit this one out.

  • vwminispeedster

    "The Laguna gets older and malaisier ever year but the school girls stay the same."

    I'm going to hell for this.

  • topdeadcentre

    "I dunno Bobby… Looks like they love your leisure suit, but I think they're on the fence about the two-tone paint job."

  • The Laguna Type S-3: Hit me, baby, one more time.

  • Number_Six

    "Never mind embarrassing her in front of her students, did you think she was going to say 'yes' to those creepy strangler gloves?"

    • jeepjeff

      "Gee, Ted, your arm healed very quickly!"

    • Alcology

      Seriously what is up with that? That is so frikkin' weird

    • Mrs. Jones entire 8th grade class was later subpoenaed to be witnesses for the prosecution at the trial. Several have had to undergo therapy after seeing crime scene photos of the woman in the green dress. Luckily the Laguna S-3 was a somewhat rare car even in 1974.


    Hutch saves his car for after work.

  • boostedlegowgn

    The Chevy Laguna Type S-3. Its 0 to 60 time isn't very good, but you'll get 5 to 10 in a blink.

  • Alcology

    The new Laguna Type S-3 will still be allowed near a school even when you aren't.

  • Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. The 1974 Chevrolet Chevelle Laguna Type S-3 brings all the girls.

  • danleym

    It looks like all those girls like his Laguna, but on Seca glance I think they're just enjoying watching their teacher shut him down.

  • scroggzilla

    St. Mary's School presents their all-girl adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds'.

  • Irishzombieman

    The Chevy Laguna S-3: So Awful It's Sort Of Awesome

  • Van_Sarockin

    Because it's hardly a sport with a Camaro.

  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    ALL NEW 豊田 Cavalier 1974!

  • If you believe in immaculate conception, you'll believe the new Laguna is a fantastic car.

  • "Get away from my car you old lady! You're going to scare these sweet girls away."

  • The girls of Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt Day School just learned that "head" doesn't always apply to engines…

    (please don't ban me)

  • mallthus

    It's not just Will Ferrell these schoolgirls are excited about.

  • Chelsea: "I heard he could only afford the 350 because he's paying child support…"
    Grace: "I heard she's the former nanny…"
    Theresa: "I heard he's hung like an orca…"
    Sister Madeline, off camera: "GIRLS! OFF THE FENCE! How many times do I have to tell you to leave my daught…uh, friend Ms. Coburn and her companion alone?!"

  • Smells_Homeless

    The exclusive Chevrolet Laguna S-3 Roman Polanski Signature Edition!

  • gearhead

    All the girls wanted to see her new nose job.

  • boxdin

    Trade in the "free candy van".
    This ad really is about perverts in vans..

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  • Bobobello

    Hey, you!