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Truth in Advertising? – Hazard Fraught Tools

Robert Emslie September 24, 2012 All Things Hoon 64 Comments

You may not live within driving distance of what I like to call my favorite one-time use tool store, Harbor Freight, but apparently a couple of contributors for Mad Magazine do.

Images: [Mad via Madcoversite]

Currently there are 64 comments on this article:

  1. Irishzombieman☆ says:

    /laughing uncontrollably, leaving the room now before someone asks why

  2. Devin says:

    I like how the multi-tool has a gaydar and paternity tester, for the rare guy who might need both.

  3. Alff says:

    That is f'n HILARIOUS! I didn't know there where Hoons at Mad.

    I own or want everything in that add. Love how the sale prices are higher than the regular prices.

    Ooh, sorry for the typos. I'm laughing too hard to type straight.

  4. Impalamino says:

    50' Garden Hose/Extension Cord Combo, right next to the 8 oz. Solid Brass Carpenter's Dreidel!

    My sides hurt from laughing so hard. I subscribed to MAD for years, and now I'm a semi-regular at Harbor Freight. Absolutely spot-on perfect satire!

  5. $kaycog says:

    Those are the funniest tools that I've ever seen! I love how the sale prices are higher than the regular prices.

    • mikeluscher159 says:

      Get back to Jalopnik.
      And take this with you, I had to go to BITOG to find this piece of Gold….

      Thank you…

  6. pj134 says:

    I'm in a dead silent office with like 3 people left here. My insides are going to exit through my mouth shortly from holding in laughter.

    • hglaber says:

      Then do what I did – IM it to them as a character test. Those that burst out laughing are your friends. Those who remain silent are those of whom you should be suspicious.

    • MindHacker says:

      For future reference, the trick is to exhale all of the air in your lungs -all of it!- before reading.

  7. craigsu says:

    I simply must have the Meglinating Variable Intensity Multifunction Power Tool! It is the perfect complement to my box of muffler bearings and franistats.

  8. njhoon says:

    I simply must have the moron lamp. For my friend, of course.

  9. Van_Sarockin says:

    That horrible rising sensation when you realize your tool collection is incomplete. I HAZ IT! Get me to that parking lot sale NAOW!

  10. Alff says:

    Chicago Electric … the brand most prefered by three-fingered carpenters.

    Graverobber, you've outdone yourself. This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

  11. jeff says:

    Hazard Fraught Tools, Mitt Romney Approved.

  12. BobWellington says:

    That machete key actually looks pretty cool.

  13. buzzboy7 says:

    Warning: Remove cats from room before painting.

  14. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat says:

    If I never post to Hooniverse, again, let it be known I died from quite-literally uncontrollable laughter…

  15. Dean Bigglesworth says:

    Thank you. I lost it at "18V cordless hammer"

  16. Joe Dunlap says:

    I want two of the garden hose/ extension cord combos. Saves on the bent nails to hang em on in my shed.

  17. mark says:

    Oh, laser guided paintbrush, how have I lived without you?!

  18. Irishzombieman says:

    GAAAAA! My 10-year-old daughter just used the phrase "moron lamp" with a straight face! HA HA HA!

    Aaah, can't breathe!

  19. Batshitbox says:

    Excellent! I love that Harbor Freight has a 'no questions asked' return policy; since it costs more to pay someone to ask questions than it does to just take the crap back and re-sell it.

    Any New Englanders have a soft spot for the Building 19 flyers? They were better than the funny pages on a Sunday afternoon.

    <img src="http://www.building19.com/classicads/largeads/ojtrivia.jpg&quot; width="500/">

    <img src="http://www.building19.com/classicads/largeads/chemsuit.jpg&quot; width="500/">
    <a href="http://www.building19.com/classicads/classicadgallery.htm” target=”_blank”>http://www.building19.com/classicads/classicadgallery.htm

    • dead_elvis says:

      "Warm as toast" – very precise.

      I don't remember ever seeing those – where do you find them, in the Sunday Globe? It's been a long time since I lived in Vermont.

    • Hopman says:

      I do. It's nice to see a company that doesn't take themselves too seriously!

      • chrystlubitshi says:

        when I was young, I ordered something from American Science Supply company. We used to read the catalogs just because their product description was funny…. then my mom tried to abbreviate their name on the 'pay to the order of' line of the check…. and promptly tore it up and decided to write smaller because she didn't want the bank to see a check to "A.S.S. Company"

  20. thepeopleswheels says:

    I don't think I've had as good a laugh in a long time. Man, Mad Magazine still "gets me."

  21. K5ING says:

    Great stuff!! I've always wanted a set of left-handed metric crescent wrenches and screwdrivers myself.

    KaleCo Auto parts has a nice selection of blinker fluid, muffler bearings and cross-drilled brake lines too. Check em' out!

    <img src="http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f165/switch1625/BlinkFluid.jpg&quot; width="600">
    <a href="http://kalecoauto.com/” target=”_blank”>http://kalecoauto.com/

  22. useless says:

    The parking lot sale is too realistic. It always seem the prices are higher and tools even crappier, if thats at all possible. Understaffed is so true, its hard to find anywhere- where theres actually enough staff to run anything.

  23. Raymond says:

    Whats so funny ? I bought all of that stuff when it wasnt on sale. Im really upset.

  24. droog phoomp says:

    I guess they no longer stock the Chloroform Dog Bed.

  25. Robert says:

    Excellent!! So HF. BTW, no one made mention that the quoted regular prices were generally half the advertized sale prices.

  26. Evan says:

    So this is where my wife has been buying my birthday gifts!

  27. alan says:

    Dammit….. left handed thwangle washers are out of stock again

    I have sooooooo many tool tart friends…..gotta fwd this.

  28. oscar says:

    I need a lasser guided paint brush, thats perfect, hahahhahahhahahah

  29. OldGoat says:

    More than a grain of truth to this. Very funny.

  30. stephen says:


  31. tomfiola@msn.com says:

    Really neat listings….

  32. hahahaha says:

    This is the FUNNIEST THING I've seen in a LONG time! I have been getting these flyers out the ass lately!!

  33. Rudy says:

    I can't believe I've lived throughout my entire life without owning an 18 volt cordless hammer. Where were these cordless hammers while growing up?? But I see now that the 16 ton nail straightener will cure those buckets of bent nails I had from my old hammers…

    • Rudy says:

      (And BTW I shouldn't laugh–my grandfather, too much idle time on his hands in later years, used to take his tack hammer and straighten out bent nails!)

  34. Richard says:

    I found so many things that i never knew that i needed them.

  35. HTWHLS says:

    the Moron light…that's priceless…especially the dork's face. I just about fell outta the chair!

    Merry Christmas!!

  36. Greg says:

    Call Harbor Freight and ask for some of these items to waste their time.

  37. Lyle says:

    Has anyone tried out the power cord/water hose combo yet?

    I have power in my garage but no water so I'm wondering if anyone here has used it and can tell me how well it worked.

    One more question; will the usage show up on my water bill or my electric bill?

  38. Mad Mark says:

    I could rock the Bono Safety Goggles. Send me money & i'll feed the world!!!!

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