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Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1978 AMC Matador Barcelona Edition

Welcome to the renewed Hooniverse Classic Captions. It has been about 17 weeks since I did the last Classic Caption Posting and we are making some changes of which I will get to, but let’s recap the premise for this feature; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. One of the changes we are making is the lack of prizes, but it shouldn’t stop you from participating in our game, and with the hiatus, it should be a whole new game at that.

The last posting revolved around a picture of a lovely young lady in a fashionable “Halter Top” evening gown. One of the entries was from our own Charles_Barrett who came up with this perfect period caption: “Hi. I’m Dorothy Stratten. When my girlfriends Barbi Benton, Marilyn Chambers, and I are all going out for a night on the town at Studio 54, we always take Heff’s 1974 Dodge Monaco. The plush interior features many convenience mirrors, straight line handling, and razor sharp performance. It leaves the competition in the powder… er, dust…!” Very Funny and Period Correct, but it was Devin who once again came up with the winning caption: “When you said you were the Princess of Monaco I was expecting something slightly different.” Congratulations Devin!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. It is a Brochure image From the 1978 AMC Fulline Catalog featuring a Golf Quartet holding a Trophy. These guys seem extra proud of their accomplishment, but it’s strange that almost no one else seems to be around the Country Club. And the fourth guy has a fantastic “Bro Stache”, one that you will never see in this day and age. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate the merits of each entry, and after our own round of golf, we will proclaim a winner. So, get to work…

Lead Image Credit: The Old Car Manual Project

  • Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

    • Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

      • Nice slacks. I bet they came with a free bowl of soup.

  • AMC Matador: The car with a nose like Jimmy Durante.

  • The Matador: mess with the bull, and you get the horn(dog)s.

  • In the final moments before the winner is announced, the four 1978 finalists anticipate the prospect of being awarded both the coveted Mr. Dorknerd trophy, and the grand prize — a 12 month lease on a new AMC Matador.

  • $kaycog

    Who knew that a foursome would get us a trophy?

  • Number_Six

    "We didn't think we could top the broken golf trophies, the wife-swapping or the awful brown cars we all bought each other that summer. But then George came up with the Star Wars Holiday Special. Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

  • Wolf J Flywheel

    Wayne Carini and friends score a trophy and a future classic!

  • Irishzombieman

    While three of them had developed only mildly successful medical practices, the fourth made a fortune in chicken farming. Still, Doug, Glenn, Craig and Big Jimbo enjoyed a round of golf together now and then. The doctors hated it, though, when Big Jimbo kept calling the golf course his "backyard". They didn't much like it when he charged them a paper nickel for every free-range chicken they killed, either. But every time they played, Big Jimbo gave 'em a trophy, then took them hooning across the fairways in his Matador, and that made them feel like equals again, frat brothers in arms, setting out to kick the world's ass.

  • Devin

    "You think our kids are going to make fun of us in 30 years?"
    "No way, I've got blue plaid pants and you have a brown Matador! We are the coolest people in the world! That's what this trophy is for right?"

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Congrats on the win seventeen weeks back, it was funny!

  • skitter

    Last known photograph of the 100mpg carburetor and its doomed inventors.

  • B72

    As a guy that occasionally wins a sailing trophy or two, I can tell you that we still use big fat tow vehicles that can hold the crew as well as tow the boat, and we can still be a bit fashion challenged here and there (some folks revel in it). The primary difference between then and now is that now we mostly accept our trophies in grubby T-shirts.

  • HTWHLS

    The Osmonds win another reward, after asking Jay to leave the band; his parting gift however was the new Matador!

  • KAH

    the trophy for car most likely to appear in a zombie apocalypse movie 30+ years from now goes to … 78 Matador

    why zombie apocalypse movie makers think we all will want carp 70s cars then is behind me, I'll be driving something like a Bowler Wildcat

  • After a grueling 24 hours of racing "Team Disco" won the Index of Effluency award.

  • Devin

    In 1974, the Chattanooga Country Club enacted a rule that all groups of three or more must contain at least one mustache. The law was later repealed, but to this day groups continue to abide by this tradition.

  • Alcology

    At least 3rd place gave the guys a nice trophy.

  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    After Percy rubbed the lamp, the genie granted him his three wishes.

  • "This trophy is nothing, someday one of us is going to be president. Now quick, tie it and the dog to the roof of Dad's car so we can go home."

  • tiberiusẅisë

    With a nose like that, the Matador had no chance in a restricted country club.

  • Rockford Brodie

    Oscar Wilde's second novel, "The Potrait Of Matadorian Brown", was much less well recieved.

  • At Adobe, we don't make the fake photo composites you see in automotive ads; we makes the photo composites better.

  • Scandinavian Flick

    "Matador 4-door Sedan with optional Barcelona package"

    The Matador's Barcelona package is so immense, it takes 4 men to handle it all.

  • Van_Sarockin

    Funny, it doesn't look like Motor Trend's Car of the Year trophy?

  • Paul E

    In return for Spackler finally killing the gopher, Bushwood awarded him the trophy and brown Matador in the hopes that he'd quit and leave town before he totally destroyed the golf course.

  • Bob, quit trying to cop a feel and just hold the trophy.

  • scroggzilla

    "Guys…one day I'm gonna be super rich. And then, I won't have to drive my dad's shitty cars any more!!!"

    Willard Romney
    1977

    • I'm glad someone else was thinking along these lines.

  • In the prestigious Concour d'LeMons "Brownest Car" award, the honor went to Brad, Steve, Wayne and Rodney's '78 Matador. Extra points were awarded for their period-correct outfits including Steve's pants and Rodney's mustache.

  • <img src="http://blogs.hotrod.com/files/2011/06/MMJ.jpg&quot; width="300/">
    After that fateful day, Manny, Moe, and Jack rarely spoke of their brother Floyd, and they never golfed again.

  • While the membership all drove Caddys and fondled trophy wives, the caddies had to drive a Matador and fondle trophies.

  • Van_Sarockin

    It was only years later that Cubby Spittlebottom finally realized that you can spell 'catastrophe' without 'trophy'.

  • It's a fore door redan in a handicap spot.

    • The Big Story… SNL golfs… Birdie! Eagle! Matador? TROPHY!!!!

      • Chip got an Eagle and we all ended up in a Matador!