Home » Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest » Currently Reading:

Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1988 Suzuki Samurai Edition

It’s Monday, so it must be time once again for the Hooniverse Classic Caption Contest. My full time job seems to be getting in the way of bringing you this post on Monday, but I will do my best from now on. Here is the premise for this feature; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or opinionated caption that is tied in with the image. This week you are all playing for a UD Trucks Stainless Travel Mug that I received some time ago ago. I know there are still quite a few of you that have not participated in our game yet, so to all the new comers, show us what you’ve got!

Last weeks image was of an image of a couple at the side of a lake and most comments were very funny. We had a great comment from our own Charles_Barrett: “Just a few more bread crumbs, just a little closer, and Brad and Janet will be able to stencil yet another swan-kill symbol on the side of their Cherokee, to piss off their annoying PETA-card-carrying neighbors…

But the winner this time is needthatcar who submitted this little ditty: “A well everybody’s heard, about the blurred
…blurred blurred blurred, the blurred is the word,
I said, blurred blurred blurred, the blurred is the word,
” Congratulations Scott.

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. It is a Advertising image for the 1988 and 1/2 Suzuki Samurai featuring three attractive co-eds. What do you think of when you see this image, and what does it have to do with a Samurai? Doesn’t it look like the models are real life Barbie and Ken dolls? Only you can answer these and any other question. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate the merits of each entry, with the best one awarded this weeks prize.

Lead Image Credit: Alden Jewel’s Flickr Photostream

  • jakebonz

    "…and in other news, tragedy struck the fashion world today as three of Benetton's top models died when their vehicle they were riding in rolled over."

    • dukeisduke

      And there was much rejoicing.

      • Rockford_Brodie


  • danleym

    Introducing the first Power Wheels car that can actually be driven on the road!

  • In the 1988 Ridgemont High Yearbook, both Sally and her Samurai are identified as "most likely to roll over."

  • "Okay, Chip and Buffy, if you guys lean on the driver's side, that should provide enough weight that I can hang out the side window in a jaunty fashion." Knowing Buffy's weight, Chip sensed an opportunity to eliminate his competition.

  • College is so expensive, with books and dorm room and classes and rubbers and pills and pep rally shirts. Buying a Samuri will ease the financial pain.

  • Number_Six

    Willow's first Cultural Studies assignment was easy: find three people who have neither read nor watched The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

  • Dr. Nick

    FWIW- a co-ed is a female student.

  • tempesjo

    As they were preparing the Samurai for the second round of photos, and the photographer and Mindy watched as Ted and Thad fumbled around with the straps, hooks and latches, it was readily apparent (and nobody was really surprised) that neither Ted nor Thad had ever removed a sports bra before.

  • smalleyxb122

    Cute. Sure would look better without a bra, though.

  • salguod

    Julie was thrilled with the wash and wax Ken and George had done on her Samurai, and the nifty accessory nose mask and fog lights they installed. Of course, she hadn't seen the result of the incident with the buffer and the RR wheel fare before they realized that someone had left 80 grit on it.

  • smalleyxb122

    How dare you call us racist! Some of our best friend is black!

    • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

      Jinkies! Fred, maybe it's cause of this line right here that you wrote for me: "Shoopy Dogg wanna Shoopy snack?" Jeepers! Shaggy was right about you. You can forget it, I'm having nothing to do with you and your spin-off.

  • Like the namesake of her car, Shelly was skilled in mounted "combat".

  • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

    @!#?@! for a moment I thought I saw a Coily.

  • Devin

    Something in this picture isn't wearing a bra. The answer may surprise you!

    • FuzzyPlushroom

      It's the fellow in the passenger seat!

  • Irishzombieman

    Because dead preppies are the best kind of preppies, the Goths and Stoners banded together, pooled drug sales profits, then anonymously gave away six Death Cabs to the Cuties.

  • Feds_II

    Introducing Suzuki's Samurai for 1988!

    Please ignore the bondo on the rear wheel arch. Actually, don't ignore it… we find it's possible to slow the rust down if you talk nice to it and pet it once in a while. That said, even if you dip the thing in Fluid Film every time it rains, it will still be doing a passable emmental impression long before Cobain offs himself… Oh, right, you don't know about that yet… Nevermind, it's not like we are from the future… Oh wait, Bleach that last sentence from your mind… Crap! Why didn't I leave that Inutero time machine Unplugged like I was told? Hang on, isn't this an add? Why am I still typing? I hope someone catches this in editing before it gets printed.

  • Dieselmatix

    The Suzuki Sidekick– the ride's hopped up like a bunch of coke-addled varsity cheerleaders!

  • flr1975

    The last known photo of Consumer Reports' 1988 summer interns.

    • fodder650

      Oddly I think this may very well be the winner

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        Ha Fodder, in a strange way, your comment taken out of context as a reply to flr, but an honest to goodness caption for the image is a funny caption as well!

        • fodder650

          HA! Thanks I didn't of that

  • tonyola

    The folks back in the 'hood were stunned to see just how far Tyrell would go in proving that he could be just as dweeby and uncool as white people. Worse yet, he seemed to enjoy it…

  • Joe_Btfsplk

    Barbie, Ken and Barry do Podunk in the Samurai Dream Car.

  • Charles_Barrett

    "Fraternal twins Bindy and Chad came from a very privileged family, and when they got homesick during their first term at Princeton, Mom & Dad sent them a care package that included their favorite family retainer, Benson the chauffeur. Sadly, due to the Goldman-Sachs financial debacle, they had to nix the Bentley and send a Samarai instead…"

  • Tomsk

    Easy to remove top, and easy to get horizontal.

    As for the Samurai…

  • XRSevin

    It's the This Side Up With People tour, brought to you by Suzuki!

  • Typical Suzuki Samurai owners circa 1988 as opposed to typical Suzuki Samurai owners circa 2012.
    <img src="http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2010/07/24/20/31/1995_suzuki_samurai_2_dr_jl_4wd_convertible-pic-5619212367000990073.jpeg"width=400&gt;

    • pj134

      I like 2012 better.

      • Strange how they went from "Dangerous little Japanese Barbie jeep" to redneck rock crawler/mudder.

        • pj134

          Once there is 2 feet of rubber on the ground they become remarkably stable. Funny, isn't it?

        • And how. There are a couple of them here, that would look at home in a Mad Max movie. They're broken most of the time, but what the hell, that's part of the appeal.

  • When Terrence said that they should flip Suzi during the finale of the the cheerleading competition, Reggie misunderstood the suggestion.

  • skitter

    The carnival's photo cut-out reached a new low when they were unable to obtain proper licensing from Mattel.

  • pj134

    The 1988 Suzuki Samurai is the best way to make your seppuku look like an accident.

    (Still want one.)

  • GlassOnion9

    Fred barely managed to prevent a stationary roll over by leaning on the hood just as Frank leaned out the passenger window.

  • facelvega

    Those last two seasons of Scooby-Doo just weren't the same without Scoob, Shaggy, and Velma.

  • hedgedigger

    what are you looking at, nerds?!

  • Brian

    There are two things here that you'd want to take their top off but only one is wearing a bra.

    • FuzzyPlushroom

      What are 'the Samurai and the guy on its hood', Brian?

  • Who's up for some Samurai Pie?