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Hooniverse Asks- What Car or Truck Should Have a Drink Named For It?

Robert Emslie March 2, 2012 Hooniverse Asks 83 Comments

Right off the bat, drinking and driving are a Hooniverse no-no. I just need to get that out of the way, because, while we will be talking about cars and quaffs, and how the former might prove the inspiration for the latter. . . blah, blah blah, cars and booze don’t mix.

Okay, got that? Now then, lets mix some cars and booze – in the hypothetical sense. The one thing about cocktails is the vast surfeit of names given to the various concoctions. There’s the Slippery Nipple, Sex on the Beach, the Manhattan, Blue Marlin, Ramos Fizz. . . it’s damn-near endless. And many of the cocktail names are taken from a particular locale, object, or sensation the mix of liquors are intended to evoke.  In fact, there’s a mondo cool NPR program called The Dinner Party Download which has a segment where they pick an obscure historical event and then have a professional mixologist create a drink to call forth that event in beverage form. So far they haven’t done anything connected with the automotive industry.

I figured we could rectify that oversight, and seeing as it’s Friday and many of us will be later celebrating the end of the week with a libation, we should think of what car or truck should be honored with a cocktail, and of what that car-connected concoction would consist. Aside from the Boxcar, and Irish Car Bomb, there aren’t any really famous drinks with even tangentially automotive names. Oh sure, there’s the Little Red Corvette but that sounds like it’s been fashioned more for Prince than the car. Let’s see if we can fix this situation, what drinks can you come up with that would actually honor an auto?

Image: [priceofhistoys

  • OA5599

    The Vanishing Point.

    [youtube tHbFOt9n_cc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHbFOt9n_cc youtube]

  • NSX Race Juice

  • tonyola

    The Vega – a mixture of blackened vegetable oil and water spiked with isopropanol and mixed with a generous helping of rust flakes.
    The Spitfire – Guinness with a chunk of dry ice (for smoke effect) and served in a leaky paper cup.

  • jakebonz

    The Ferrari – Take the most expensive liquor in the bar, then set it on fire. You're not actually supposed to drink it, just watch your money go up in smoke.

    • Irishzombieman

      HEY! JAKE! You're here!

      Played the Magic Bullet video for someone yesterday. Still made me laugh, even after seeing it a hundred times. They didn't get it.

      • jakebonz

        Yes, it's me…and I still don't get the Magic Bullet video. I just play it every once in a while to keep things…weird.

    • Scandinavian Flick

      Jake! 😀

      I almost choked reading that…

      • jakebonz

        You guys should check out Google+

        A bunch of 5.No Refugees, including myself, migrated there.

  • pj134

    Driving and booze are a no no, but wrenching and booze usually works. Especially when you're trying to forget the pain. There are some simple ones. The Jeep, which is a chocolate milkshake with some Kahlua (Even jeep guys have to admit most Jeeps just end up being the housewive's mall crawler). The Ferrari, which is a shot made of 2 parts limoncello and 1 part campari lit on fire before serving. Of course, there is the Leyland… a half gallon of cheap gin and a straw.

    • I thought the "Jeep" was drinking something on the rocks until you fell over.

      • pj134

        That's the Rubicon.

    • Devin

      You forget that the straw on the Leyland has to have holes in it.

      • pj134

        I guess it should have a barbecue style ignition just before it gets to your mouth.

        • Devin

          Put it in a flimsy glass that could break for no reason while you're drinking it.

  • tonyola

    The Toyota FT-86 – supposedly potent and fairly tasty, but you have to wait over two years for the bartender to actually bring it to you.

  • tonyola

    The Civic – it started out as a zingy sake and Coke mix, but all the alcohol has evaporated and the fizz is all gone.

    • PowerTryp

      That doesn't sound good at all. Either new or old.

  • HSA

    Hooniverse commenting rule #1: The low hanging fruits first. Lancia Martini, anyone?
    <img src="http://bringatrailer.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/1980_Lancia_037_Toivonen_WRC_Rallye_Car_Front_1.jpg"&gt;

    • Irishzombieman

      Like a vodka martini, only with gasoline.

      • HSA

        Exactly. Incidentally, there are also wines branded after Lancia, Alfa Romeo, Maserati and Fiat. While the last one must be "vino di tavola", I'm slightly amused by Alfa Romeo Spumante. Does that refer to some kind of undesirable sparkling under the hood, or does it just mean "Careful with the radiator cap"?

  • RegalRegalia

    After my car: The 93 Buick Regal: a dry gin martini with two torn mint leaf and a squashed cherry. Torn leaves for the body damage and broken cherry for the increasingly frequent repairs.

  • 1 oz. Jack Daniels
    1 oz. Grain Alcohol
    4 oz. RedBull

    The Bitchin' Camaro

  • Cherokee Owner

    The Jeep: Same as a mudslide, but substitute vodka with cheap whiskey. Serve in a camper's flask.

  • <img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51osjT8rDzL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"&gt;

    1 shot Bailey's® Irish cream
    1 shot lime juice

    Hold one shot of bailey's in your mouth, and take one shot of lime juice. Mix rapidly in mouth by shaking head vigorously, then consume.

    Read more: Cement Mixer recipe http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink469.html#ixzz1nyP

    IMG from Amazon

    • 2cver

      Bruder trucks are awesome. At first I thought you were going to suggest mixing a drink in one.

  • Irishzombieman

    In high school, a friend o' mine came up with a drink we called Wham–named not for the awful band but rather for the sound you make after drinking a few.

    It was pretty simple. Irish whiskey and dark rum, mixed 1:1, on the rocks and with a slice of lime.

    At the time, I drove a 1969 Wagoneer, my specific vehicle being referred to by mi compadres as The Way-Goner.

    I think Way-Goner is an incredibly appropriate name for the drink I just described, as it both accurately describes the effect of the drink, and avoids any George Michael connotations

    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d9/Jeep_Wagoneer_front.jpg&quot; width="400'/">

  • Tesla Model S

    For $5.00 you are served one empty glass with promise of beverage.

    • pj134

      $5.00 is still pretty cheap for a drink in my area. Maybe it's worth a shot…

    • Scandinavian Flick

      The XJ220.

      For $20, they serve you an empty glass with the promise of a top shelf liquor. They eventually fill it really slowly with a drink from the middle shelf that just so happens to be really really potent…

  • tiberiusẅisë
  • Devin

    The Dodge La Femme – I can't figure out how to make a Cosmo even more girly, however.

    • pj134

      I was going to make a joke about filtering it through and wringing it out of a certain thing but that would probably be too far.

    • Irishzombieman

      Lipstick on the glass.

  • Vavon
    • PowerTryp

      I'm gunna start calling my Gin and Tonic's GTi's from now on.

  • The Sunbeam Tiger – a pint of Burton Bitter with a jigger of Jack Daniels.
    The Cougar – strong, black coffee and 40-year-old sherry. Top with whipped cream, but no cherry.
    The SHOgun – pour out half a bottle of non-alcoholic O'Douls and refill it with sake.
    The MX3 GT – a six-pack of 7 oz. beers
    The CBR250RR – One Dexedrine and one Viagra tablet disolved in a Redline energy drink. [Don't worry, the bike guys will get it.]
    The 917 – You take a hit of helium, down a shot of pure grain alcohol then then immediately punch yourself in the face.

    • @CBR250RR: Har
      @917: totally would inhale/drink/punch that

  • PowerTryp

    Aries K – A non alcoholic beer for people who know nothing of beer.

    • Devin

      You can drink it while listening to Reliant K.

  • mallthus

    The Delorean: Draught Guinness can
    <img src="http://www.packagingeurope.com/images/news/200208_013814_Draught%20Guinness%20from%20a%20can%20available%20in%20Poland.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://www.radcollector.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/AS_DunkDMC_belfast.jpg"&gt;
    They're both Irish and metal…just saying…

    On balance, given that they were built in Belfast, maybe just renaming an Irish Car Bomb would be more appropriate.

    • pj134

      Yeah, but you'd need to put some cocaine in it for it to be a DeLorean.

  • smalleyxb122

    A 50/50 mix of Guinness and the cheapest French wine you can find will make a Delorean. Sure, it’ll do the job, but it’s not very good.

    A shot of Crème de Menthe in your Coors Light, will give you a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

    One part Everclear to 2 parts Triple sec, served on the rocks is a ’69 Charger. (The best I could do to combine an orange liqueur with moonshine)

  • Devin

    The 912: It looks like a strong, stiff drink, but when you actually try it out it doesn't have very much kick at all.
    The Beetle Convertible: The house cocktail of your local gay bar.

  • Prius – drink a glass of tap water then touch a 9-volt battery to your tongue.

    • pj134

      Don't you think it needs to be saline solution for best conductivity?

  • Devin

    The Town and Country: Some kind of expensive designer coffee (for the town) and moonshine (for the country).
    The Jetta: Start with five fingers of whiskey. With each drink, refill the empty portion of the glass with water.

  • The Carabela: Extra Añejo Tequila served at -140 degrees F.

    …That's right: it's old, Mexican, and frozen solid.

    <img src="http://articles.superhunky.com/images/articles/159/CARA2.jpg&quot; width="280">

    • Irishzombieman

      This is not Irishzombieman.

      This is the guy who shares an office with Irishzombieman.

      He just died. Laughed so hard he had a stroke and asphyxiated simultaneously.

  • Slow_Joe_Crow

    My immediate thought was something British car themed, since they invariably drive you to drink. Hence The Prince of Darkness: Guinness (or something equally black) served warm with a dab of oil and a drop of blood from your cut finger.

  • Scandinavian Flick

    Red Bull

    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/1/2236/4921/5589960002_large.jpg&quot; width="500"/>

    I'm sorry… I'll gather my things and go…

  • scroggzilla

    The Propellerhead…..Fruchtschorle mit un schott ov Jagermeister. Jawohl!!
    <img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3306/5738577590_49275e4974.jpg&quot; width="500" height="317" alt="77 drm@nurburgring hj stuck bmw 320turbo">

  • TurboBrick

    Well now you made me get the camera out…

    Turbo Volvo – square bottle of vodka flavored with a dash of gin, akvavit and french vermouth. Remove cap from bottle and step on it. Serve with a bent straw.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/dIftk.jpg&quot; title="Hosted by imgur.com" alt="" />

    • Scandinavian Flick

      I LOLed at "bent straw"

      <img src="http://oi43.tinypic.com/1zn5qc1.jpg"&gt;

      • TurboBrick

        Well it's not right if it doesn't have one… Too bad the box of straws didn't come with any that were rust colored with a few holes.

    • It's a Volvo … needs a shot of Sloe Gin.

  • Robert, I also do enjoy the NPR program, The Dinner Party Download. Hopefully you will introduce some new hoons to it.

  • Juliet C.

    "Mach 1"
    V8 and Lemoncello.
    <img src=http://www.custombikeautopainting.com/wp-content/gallery/black-yellow-mach-1-mustang/MORGAN%20MACH1%20003.jpg>

    • tiberiusẅisë

      I'm not sure if there were any words in your post but gave it a thumbs up anyway.

  • Tiller188

    The WRX WRC (too many letters?):

    Suntory whiskey served over whiskey stones and muddled mint leaves. Rocks, destroyed plant debris, and plenty of Japanese-made kick.

  • The 240D: Equal parts Meister-Pils (from Stuttgart's own Schwaben Bräu) and refrigerated molasses. A simple-yet-refined filtered pilsner treat that flows as slow as…well, you know…a 240D (What did you think I was going to say?), giving you ample time to savor the flavor.
    <img src="http://images.carpictures.cc/photo/m/00023458_Mercedes-Benz_240D_Daveseven.jpg"&gt;

  • GlassOnion9

    This may be the best post ever.
    I can't come up with any because I'm laughing too hard to think. Also I'm not witty.

  • Rico

    Great idea for a post, Robert! But I gotta point out we did indeed do an auto-themed history/cocktail combo — based on the Edsel. Click below and fast forward to 3:39. Enjoy…

    – Rico from "The Dinner Party"