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Hooniverse Asks- What Car or Truck Should Have a Drink Named For It?

Robert Emslie March 2, 2012 Hooniverse Asks 83 Comments

Right off the bat, drinking and driving are a Hooniverse no-no. I just need to get that out of the way, because, while we will be talking about cars and quaffs, and how the former might prove the inspiration for the latter. . . blah, blah blah, cars and booze don’t mix.

Okay, got that? Now then, lets mix some cars and booze – in the hypothetical sense. The one thing about cocktails is the vast surfeit of names given to the various concoctions. There’s the Slippery Nipple, Sex on the Beach, the Manhattan, Blue Marlin, Ramos Fizz. . . it’s damn-near endless. And many of the cocktail names are taken from a particular locale, object, or sensation the mix of liquors are intended to evoke.  In fact, there’s a mondo cool NPR program called The Dinner Party Download which has a segment where they pick an obscure historical event and then have a professional mixologist create a drink to call forth that event in beverage form. So far they haven’t done anything connected with the automotive industry.

I figured we could rectify that oversight, and seeing as it’s Friday and many of us will be later celebrating the end of the week with a libation, we should think of what car or truck should be honored with a cocktail, and of what that car-connected concoction would consist. Aside from the Boxcar, and Irish Car Bomb, there aren’t any really famous drinks with even tangentially automotive names. Oh sure, there’s the Little Red Corvette but that sounds like it’s been fashioned more for Prince than the car. Let’s see if we can fix this situation, what drinks can you come up with that would actually honor an auto?

Image: [priceofhistoys

Currently there are 83 comments on this article:

  1. OA5599 says:

    The Vanishing Point.

    [youtube tHbFOt9n_cc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHbFOt9n_cc youtube]

  2. tonyola says:

    The Vega – a mixture of blackened vegetable oil and water spiked with isopropanol and mixed with a generous helping of rust flakes.
    The Spitfire – Guinness with a chunk of dry ice (for smoke effect) and served in a leaky paper cup.

  3. jakebonz says:

    The Ferrari – Take the most expensive liquor in the bar, then set it on fire. You're not actually supposed to drink it, just watch your money go up in smoke.

    • Irishzombieman says:

      HEY! JAKE! You're here!

      Played the Magic Bullet video for someone yesterday. Still made me laugh, even after seeing it a hundred times. They didn't get it.

      • jakebonz says:

        Yes, it's me…and I still don't get the Magic Bullet video. I just play it every once in a while to keep things…weird.

    • Scandinavian Flick says:

      Jake! :D

      I almost choked reading that…

  4. pj134 says:

    Driving and booze are a no no, but wrenching and booze usually works. Especially when you're trying to forget the pain. There are some simple ones. The Jeep, which is a chocolate milkshake with some Kahlua (Even jeep guys have to admit most Jeeps just end up being the housewive's mall crawler). The Ferrari, which is a shot made of 2 parts limoncello and 1 part campari lit on fire before serving. Of course, there is the Leyland… a half gallon of cheap gin and a straw.

  5. tonyola says:

    The Toyota FT-86 – supposedly potent and fairly tasty, but you have to wait over two years for the bartender to actually bring it to you.

  6. tonyola says:

    The Civic – it started out as a zingy sake and Coke mix, but all the alcohol has evaporated and the fizz is all gone.

  7. HSA says:

    Hooniverse commenting rule #1: The low hanging fruits first. Lancia Martini, anyone?
    <img src="http://bringatrailer.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/1980_Lancia_037_Toivonen_WRC_Rallye_Car_Front_1.jpg"&gt;

    • Irishzombieman says:

      Like a vodka martini, only with gasoline.

      • HSA says:

        Exactly. Incidentally, there are also wines branded after Lancia, Alfa Romeo, Maserati and Fiat. While the last one must be "vino di tavola", I'm slightly amused by Alfa Romeo Spumante. Does that refer to some kind of undesirable sparkling under the hood, or does it just mean "Careful with the radiator cap"?

  8. RegalRegalia says:

    After my car: The 93 Buick Regal: a dry gin martini with two torn mint leaf and a squashed cherry. Torn leaves for the body damage and broken cherry for the increasingly frequent repairs.

  9. Alff says:

    1 oz. Jack Daniels
    1 oz. Grain Alcohol
    4 oz. RedBull

    The Bitchin' Camaro

  10. Cherokee Owner says:

    The Jeep: Same as a mudslide, but substitute vodka with cheap whiskey. Serve in a camper's flask.

  11. SSurfer321 says:

    <img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51osjT8rDzL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"&gt;

    1 shot Bailey's® Irish cream
    1 shot lime juice

    Hold one shot of bailey's in your mouth, and take one shot of lime juice. Mix rapidly in mouth by shaking head vigorously, then consume.

    Read more: Cement Mixer recipe http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink469.html#ixzz1nyP

    IMG from Amazon

  12. Irishzombieman says:

    In high school, a friend o' mine came up with a drink we called Wham–named not for the awful band but rather for the sound you make after drinking a few.

    It was pretty simple. Irish whiskey and dark rum, mixed 1:1, on the rocks and with a slice of lime.

    At the time, I drove a 1969 Wagoneer, my specific vehicle being referred to by mi compadres as The Way-Goner.

    I think Way-Goner is an incredibly appropriate name for the drink I just described, as it both accurately describes the effect of the drink, and avoids any George Michael connotations

    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d9/Jeep_Wagoneer_front.jpg&quot; width="400'/">

  13. SSurfer321 says:

    Tesla Model S

    For $5.00 you are served one empty glass with promise of beverage.

    • pj134 says:

      $5.00 is still pretty cheap for a drink in my area. Maybe it's worth a shot…

    • Scandinavian Flick says:

      The XJ220.

      For $20, they serve you an empty glass with the promise of a top shelf liquor. They eventually fill it really slowly with a drink from the middle shelf that just so happens to be really really potent…

  14. Devin says:

    The Dodge La Femme – I can't figure out how to make a Cosmo even more girly, however.

  15. Tanshanomi says:

    The Sunbeam Tiger – a pint of Burton Bitter with a jigger of Jack Daniels.
    The Cougar – strong, black coffee and 40-year-old sherry. Top with whipped cream, but no cherry.
    The SHOgun – pour out half a bottle of non-alcoholic O'Douls and refill it with sake.
    The MX3 GT – a six-pack of 7 oz. beers
    The CBR250RR – One Dexedrine and one Viagra tablet disolved in a Redline energy drink. [Don't worry, the bike guys will get it.]
    The 917 – You take a hit of helium, down a shot of pure grain alcohol then then immediately punch yourself in the face.

  16. PowerTryp says:

    Aries K – A non alcoholic beer for people who know nothing of beer.

  17. mallthus says:

    The Delorean: Draught Guinness can
    <img src="http://www.packagingeurope.com/images/news/200208_013814_Draught%20Guinness%20from%20a%20can%20available%20in%20Poland.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://www.radcollector.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/AS_DunkDMC_belfast.jpg"&gt;
    They're both Irish and metal…just saying…

    On balance, given that they were built in Belfast, maybe just renaming an Irish Car Bomb would be more appropriate.

  18. smalleyxb122 says:

    A 50/50 mix of Guinness and the cheapest French wine you can find will make a Delorean. Sure, it’ll do the job, but it’s not very good.

    A shot of Crème de Menthe in your Coors Light, will give you a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.

    One part Everclear to 2 parts Triple sec, served on the rocks is a ’69 Charger. (The best I could do to combine an orange liqueur with moonshine)

  19. Devin says:

    The 912: It looks like a strong, stiff drink, but when you actually try it out it doesn't have very much kick at all.
    The Beetle Convertible: The house cocktail of your local gay bar.

  20. Tanshanomi says:

    Prius – drink a glass of tap water then touch a 9-volt battery to your tongue.

  21. Devin says:

    The Town and Country: Some kind of expensive designer coffee (for the town) and moonshine (for the country).
    The Jetta: Start with five fingers of whiskey. With each drink, refill the empty portion of the glass with water.

  22. Tanshanomi says:

    The Carabela: Extra Añejo Tequila served at -140 degrees F.

    …That's right: it's old, Mexican, and frozen solid.

    <img src="http://articles.superhunky.com/images/articles/159/CARA2.jpg&quot; width="280">

    • Irishzombieman says:

      This is not Irishzombieman.

      This is the guy who shares an office with Irishzombieman.

      He just died. Laughed so hard he had a stroke and asphyxiated simultaneously.

  23. Slow_Joe_Crow says:

    My immediate thought was something British car themed, since they invariably drive you to drink. Hence The Prince of Darkness: Guinness (or something equally black) served warm with a dab of oil and a drop of blood from your cut finger.

  24. Scandinavian Flick says:

    Red Bull

    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/1/2236/4921/5589960002_large.jpg&quot; width="500"/>

    I'm sorry… I'll gather my things and go…

  25. scroggzilla says:

    The Propellerhead…..Fruchtschorle mit un schott ov Jagermeister. Jawohl!!
    <img src="http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3306/5738577590_49275e4974.jpg&quot; width="500" height="317" alt="77 drm@nurburgring hj stuck bmw 320turbo">

  26. TurboBrick says:

    Well now you made me get the camera out…

    Turbo Volvo – square bottle of vodka flavored with a dash of gin, akvavit and french vermouth. Remove cap from bottle and step on it. Serve with a bent straw.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/dIftk.jpg&quot; title="Hosted by imgur.com" alt="" />

  27. muthalovin says:

    Robert, I also do enjoy the NPR program, The Dinner Party Download. Hopefully you will introduce some new hoons to it.

  28. Juliet C. says:

    "Mach 1"
    V8 and Lemoncello.
    <img src=http://www.custombikeautopainting.com/wp-content/gallery/black-yellow-mach-1-mustang/MORGAN%20MACH1%20003.jpg>

  29. Tiller188 says:

    The WRX WRC (too many letters?):

    Suntory whiskey served over whiskey stones and muddled mint leaves. Rocks, destroyed plant debris, and plenty of Japanese-made kick.

  30. Tomsk says:

    The 240D: Equal parts Meister-Pils (from Stuttgart's own Schwaben Bräu) and refrigerated molasses. A simple-yet-refined filtered pilsner treat that flows as slow as…well, you know…a 240D (What did you think I was going to say?), giving you ample time to savor the flavor.
    <img src="http://images.carpictures.cc/photo/m/00023458_Mercedes-Benz_240D_Daveseven.jpg"&gt;

  31. GlassOnion9 says:

    This may be the best post ever.
    I can't come up with any because I'm laughing too hard to think. Also I'm not witty.

  32. Rico says:

    Great idea for a post, Robert! But I gotta point out we did indeed do an auto-themed history/cocktail combo — based on the Edsel. Click below and fast forward to 3:39. Enjoy…

    – Rico from "The Dinner Party"

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