Hooniversal Car of the Year: It’s Time To Choose The Winner!

No bias at all.

Every major automotive publication out there has some variation on a car of the year award. Yeah, they’re okay. But ours is better. Ours is better because of this post right here. Every other publication out there tells you the most deserving recipient of their prize. We let you choose. Hooniverse isn’t a conventional publication; we’re not here to tell you about cars, we’re here to ask you about cars. We’re fully aware that our audience knows more about cars than we ever could. The pool of knowledge in a community is always bigger than the knowledge of any one writer, so attempting to tell a group of car enthusiasts what is the most deserving vehicle is nothing short of arrogant. That’s why we’re asking you what is the most deserving car instead.

So for that reason, we threw out our suggestions, and accepted nominations from our readers. From that narrowed-down pool, it’s time to choose the winner. We’ve done our jobs, now it’s time for you to do yours. But let’s recap the candidates, just in case you missed one!

Jeff, of course, nominated his beloved Hotchkiss E-Max Challenger. Details are still a bit murky as to how he managed to acquire this vehicle to drive to the LA Auto Show, but we can only assume that it was through intrigue, blackmail and shameless self-prostitution. As it should be. It is an exceptional car, and one we’re only too proud to have featured here. The folks at Hotchkiss have done some amazing work, taking it from just another muscle car to a proper performance car, one with the ability to back up its impressive looks.

The FSO Polonez waltzed its way into our next nomination, which is likely its first ever nomination for Car of the Year. In fact it may be its first ever nomination for an award of any kind. It is, as Kamil points out, one of only a very few vehicles ever produced that was available as a 4-door sedan, a 3- and 5-door hatchback, a pickup truck with three different cabs and bed lengths, a six-door limo, a cargo van, and an ambulance. And he has nominated all of them, in the hopes that the Polonez will eke out a win through sheer force of numbers!

Mr. Emslie waded into the mix with a stunning nominee, and a writeup that deserves to be read as one of the best articles you’ll see this year in any publication. His nomination of the 1968 TR250K one-off race car makes us long for an earlier age, when small shops were only too able to build a magnificent creation like that, solely for the purpose of heading out to kick some ass in a 24-hour endurance race. Not something you’d see today, and that makes us a little sad.

We would, of course, be remiss if we hadn’t thrown in a nomination for the inimitable Corvair of Jim Brennan‘s own Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer. A car that was labelled “unsafe at any speed” by some politician forgotten by history, the simple idea of racing it is ballsy enough to deserve our patented Slow Clap of Admiration™, but doing so through multiple events, not despite, but because of the inherent weaknesses in the Corvair’s design? Well, if it doesn’t win HCOTY, Jim at least deserves our Gold Star Sticker of Merit.

Bradley Brownell‘s nomination is sure to be polarizing; a massively modified widebody Porsche 964 built by Akira Nakai’s RAUH-Welt, it is a monster of a performance vehicle. Admittedly, it was built as a rolling billboard to advertise their company, so the car is a little bit over-the-top and look-at-me bold, but then, so is the Hotchkiss Challenger! Personally, I love it, and we here behind the scenes can’t wait to see how its polarizing influence fares in the HCOTY voting.

Our own Longrooffan knows exactly how to play to his base. Let’s face it, if you’re going to be talking to the crowd here at Hooniverse, you have to pick a car that speaks to them. It’s hard to pick a car that’s more Hooniverse than a V8-powered station wagon with wood-grain panelling. It doesn’t have a racing pedigree, it isn’t the prettiest, and it isn’t even his. But goddammit, it’s awesome, he wants it… and now… so do I, I’m not gonna lie.

I, of course, had to jump in at that point with my own nominee, which, since I’m writing this summary, means that it is of course the best candidate and the one you should vote for. The Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale is, without dispute, one of the most stunning, gorgeous, and impressive vehicles produced in the history of the motor car. It’s the Jessica Rabbit of cars — impossibly sexy, with genuine substance. But more than that, it may be the car that saves FIAT from its malaise, and re-ignites passion in the automotive industry. Also, I nominated it, and it’s therefore awesome. Just sayin’.

Mr. Schmo, however, responded by throwing down the gauntlet with the force of a tactical nuke. He nominated the official AtomicToasters LeMons car, the Killer Zombee, which results in a site-versus-site showdown, and forces me into a serious division of loyalties. Do we vote for Jim and the Hooniverse car, or Pete and the Toasters car? I have no clue, but the write-ups for either team make them our early front-runners.

There aren’t a whole lot of cars that can take on the Zombee and the ‘Vair, but we have a sneaking hunch that the Zyncro might just be the one to do it. The Longrooffan stumbled across this awesome little van while grabbing a quasi-synthetic-chicken sandwich at McDonald’s, and its story was the essence of Hooniverse. Retirees Rainier and Bridgette started out in “the middle of Germany”, and decided to drive their car around the world. Without a real plan. They quite literally drove until they hit an ocean, and then caught the next transport ship to wherever it happened to be going. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Our final nominee came from commenter OA5599, and it’s the ultimate sleeper. The PT Cruiser may be one of the least-respected cars in the world, and with a damn good reason: it’s garbage. Based on the Neon, which was already crap to begin with, it was poorly designed, with compromises galore. Well what happens if you fix all the issues, refuse to allow any compromise, and stuff some proper power under the hood and give it the ability to go around a corner? Suddenly you have a car that goes from lame to legendary, or from [REDACTED] to Hooniverse. But is that enough to give it the nod?

It’s time to make the decision, it’s time to choose your winner. So which one tickles your fancy with a feather? Voting will close Tuesday night, unless I’m delayed in getting back to Alberta, then it’ll be later. So get your vote in!

And, while you’re at it, do us a favour; share this article everywhere you can. Facebook, Twittifier, Plus Googles, Reddits, whatever else you can think of. We really want HCOTY to become a Grande Olde Traditione around these parts, and the best way to do that is to let people know about it! So tell your friends, family, and random strangers on the street. Just remember to tell them to keep it civil.

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1. Hooniversal Car of the Year Nominee: The Killer ZomBee!
2. It’s That Time Of Year Again!
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4. Announcing the Hooniversal Car of the Year!
5. Welcome to the 2011 Hooniversal Car Of The Year Awards