HCOTY 2011 Nominee: A Proverbial Favorite

Well, my fellow Hoons the occasion has arrived for the official presentation of the only viable candidate for the illustrious Hooniverse Car Of The Year.

Sure, thus far we have seen nominated uber cool modernized muscle cars, vintage one off racing sports cars, an absolutely unobtainable, either whole or in parts, extremely versatile Soviet bloc sedan: What Hoon in Hoonville knows what else is coming down the turnpike toward all of us?

But, as I mentioned, there is only one truly Hoonworthy candidate for the Hooniverse Car Of The Year and, of course, it’s a longroof.

However, first a brief review is in order.

see image src at the end of this post

Longroofs first debuted early in the 1900′s as a variant of Henry Ford’s ubiquitous Model T. Initially, they were used as “depot hacks”. These extended versions of the famous “Tin Lizzy”, largely constructed of wood from Ford’s own private forest in northern Michigan, were primarily used to transport hotel guests from the local train depot to their preferred hotel of choice.

Later, in the late 20′s and early 30′s, these “hacks” evolved into station wagons, still serving to transport guests from the train station to their hotels. These desirable woodys also, gradually, became the preferred means of transportation of the monied set, if you will.

By the 40′s, these woody wagons had become quite upscale and were utilized as a primary means of transport at the vacation homes of upper class barons. They were, and are, quite desirable.

Soon, however, these station wagons generally became available to the middle class in middle America, and began to further cement the longroof in the hearts of the average United States citizen.

Post World War II, most manufacturors offered a station wagon with varying degrees of success.

Ford was the “every man’s” station wagon, although Chryler’s woody wagons were extremely desirable to the “upper class.”

Thoughtfully, Ford carried a station wagon across their line of offerings providing a less expensive alternative to Walter’s Town and Country.

In the late 1950′s and 1960′s, longroofs were everywhere. Baby boomers were producing families at a rapid rate and, much like the early post war era, nearly every manfacturor was producing longroofs offered in a variety of price ranges.

Ford was still out in front with its long standing “Country Squire” and it served a variety of roles from towing an enthusiast’s project car to

transporting the family to a vacation spot with room for a variety of cargo along with a large number of passengers.

Longroofs had such wide acceptance that some coachbuilt companies offered their own version of a station wagon when the original manufacturor did not have a longroof in its line up.

In the early and mid 1970′s, longroofs were still held in high esteem by the general public

and were still popular during this era.

However, by the 1980′s the typical station wagon lost favor here in the United States, replaced by Chrysler’s mini vans and the rise of SUV’s in general.

Thankfully, several overseas manufacturors kept the station wagon alive for we Hoons here in the good ole USA.

And by the early 90′s, US consumers demanded, and received, an offering of a domestic station wagon and the typical “big 3″ responded.

Once again, nearly every manufacturor was offering a station wagon in their line up for we Hoons to enjoy and this olelongrooffan is a happy camper because of it.

Now, I am confident this brief, and decidedly generalized, history of the longroof has all of you wondering what it has to do with the Hooniverse Car Of The Year?

Well, my fellow Hoons, your choice of a longroof for the HCOTY should not be based on the newish longroof offering by Cadillac no less,

nor should it be based on a dubiously badged, overpriced, restored longroof from the 1960′s.

No, the Hooniverse Car Of The Year can only be this used up, but not discarded, 1992 Mercury Colony Park Station Wagon. This top of the line offering by Mercury has definitely seen better days but it has steadfastly refused to relinquish itself to the local U-Pull-It.

This station wagon is based on the longest produced vehicle platform in North American automotive history. Further, it possesses all of the classic quirks that are deemed so Hoonworthy including, but not limited to, the classic faux wood on three sides. Additionally, this classic provided an unforgettable base vehicle for a series of unforgettable movies, all of which are Hoonalicious.

Sure, I will concur it does not possess the engineering and suggested racing pedigree some of the other candidates do. However, it, without a doubt, does provide the versatility of a passenger car combined with a cargo hauler and provides the top of the line creature comforts by the middle offering by the Ford Motor Company.

Now the Hooneauty of this longroof is that it has seen such a long and cultured life, with many various uses throughout that existence, and continues to serve admirably, regardless of care or condition.

And while this olelongrooffan further concedes that it handles road racing or high speed street usage no where near as well a couple of other candidates, it is still extremely Hooniable.

Having outlined all of the extremely Hoontastic traits of a longroof in general and the spectacular ones this particular speciman possesses, this olelongrooffan is confident my fellow Hoons will agree this longroof deserves your vote as the Hooniverse Car Of The Year over all of the other, less worthy, candidates.

And in the immortal words of every Chicago politician, “Vote early and vote often.”

with the exception of the sweet Benz longroof, all images are original to this olelongrooffan and my family.

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