2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year Nominee – The Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer 1963 Corvair

The 24-Hours-of-Lemons has been a staple of this and other enthusiast car sites for the past few years, with the premise that anyone who has a group of car crazed friends, a basic knowledge of how a car works, and a desire to go racing in any form can experience the thrill of competing on the track with a multitude of other people who are just as wacko as they are. Throw in the fact that these chariots are all suppose to start as $500 crap cans, a panel of judges who encourage you to bribe them to look the other way when they discover you spent more you are suppose to on said car, and with penalties that range from wearing outrageous outfits to getting covered in feathers, you know this isn’t your average race series.

Which brings me to my self serving nomination for the 2011 Hooniverse Car of the Year, the Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer 1963 Chevrolet Corvair 700 Sedan. This car had the distinction of being the oldest car ever to compete in a 24-Hours-of-LeMons event at its maiden race in July of 2009 (with older machinery competing afterwards), winning the coveted Index-of-Effluency award, and coming in 1st in its class, all while being the slowest car on the track. This is a story of what was probably the fan favorite entry at the two events it competed in, and is now officially retired.

The journey started in October of 2008, when I came across a Craigslist listing for a Corvair. The listing simply stated that it was a 1964 Corvair 700 four door sedan for $600. Included in the listing was the usual tiny Craigslist images, showing the roof was damaged. It was located in Vermont, and when I saw it for the first time I found out that it was a 1963 model year instead of a 1964 as advertised, and that really made a big difference. You see, the rear suspension was modified for 1964 because of some peculiar handling issues, which meant the 63 model had the original setup. So, I counter offered with a $400 purchase price, and he accepted.

Now that I was the (not quite) proud owner of a non running, damaged, and rusty collectible, with four tires that came from the Nixon era, and I did what everyone does when faced with a monumental task… I ignored it for the winter. However, when the snow started to melt, I knew I had to get the old girl running, and to form some sort of a competitive team. For the latter, I took an unusual course of action, trolling for team members on the internet, as well as conning some of the people I know on the blogosphere. To my surprise, this actually went smoother than choosing my chariot. I asked both Kathy Helmetag and Mike Musto, who both contribute to the CarDomain Blog, and Mike drafted a couple of his closest friends. I also opened up the team to a Jalopnik commenter, Andy Sarkozi who owns a couple of Corvairs. With the drivers all set, the team was rounded out with the addition of Jason Ensell, and Mary Comens who became our cheerleader and acting mom.

Six week from the start of the 2009 race, Mike Musto brought in his ace mechanic, Johnny. They picked up the car from Connecticut, and transported it to Long Island to bring it up to some sort of competitive state. It needed to have a Roll Cage installed, the fuel tank was a disaster and needed work, installation of a racing harness, an emergency cut-off switch, and a third brake light among other things. The night before the race, we all met at a motel I chose near the track, and used it as our base of operations. Saturday Morning was going to come a bit too early.

On our first time around at the Tech Inspection point we failed straight away, but after three trips through we were ready to go. With the Inspections finished, the teams (all 58 of them) lined up to go out onto the track. It was around 11:00, and the organizers were running a little behind. I was dressed in my second hand NASCAR driver’s suit that was once used by the Ken Schrader team from 2005 with AT&T as the main sponsor. I also purchased a racing helmet as a closeout, along with driving shoes and gloves that were also closeouts. As I sat in the car all strapped in, my mind was filled with racing images that I have witnessed during my youth. It was nothing like I imagined, yet it was more exciting than anything I could have ever hoped for.

The green flag fell and we were off, only I was being passed by almost everyone. Cars were passing me on my right, on my left, and were right on my tail. Is the engine running? Did I stall? Am I in gear? I was racing, but it seems that my car was the absolute slowest car on the track. And why not since it’s a 46-year-old car, with a stock muffler system, powered through a two-speed Powerglide automatic. It’s not built for speed but as it turned out, it was built for reliability.

As I made my way to turn one, another handling trait of the Corvair made itself known; oversteer! I owned Corvairs in the past and I was actually comfortable with this trait. It was like visiting an old peculiar friend after so many years without contavt. What I wasn’t prepared for was that running through those sweeping curves on the track as I was making steering corrections all the way through. This became even more pronounced during the infield excursions, as the course was exceedingly rough, enough to chatter your dentures, and tear up your suspension but the car handled this section well. Turn five lead to the fastest part of the track, in which we utilized the banking of the small track. All the cars that I held up behind me came roaring around, two, three, sometimes four cars wide at the banking. While you couldn’t hear my engine, those glorious Alfa, Toyota, and BMW sixes made deafening, yet melodic noises while they charged around my little ‘Vair.

We placed 22nd at the end of Saturday’s session, with absolutely no mechanical problems. The problems we did encounter were problems with the basic drivability of the car, from braking that made the car dart to the right, to the peculiar handling issues with the swing arm suspension. There was next to no power, but the car ran and ran and ran. The two-speed Powerglide automatic was functioning perfectly and it was the quietest car on the track with a fully stock exhaust system.

Sunday’s session started at noon, and it was once again my turn to return to the driver’s seat in the Corvair. Once on the track, it was performing the same way it did on Saturday; slow, tail happy, and not much else. I was trying to be competitive, trying to keep up with traffic, and braking late to get into the corner faster. This was exactly the wrong move, because all of a sudden while braking hard, I heard a loud bang from the front of the car. The brake pedal started to feel funny, and it felt like the right front shoes were dragging. After locking up the right front tire and coming to a stop in front of the grandstands, I was out for the day. Turned out, I cracked the drum, and we didn’t have a spare. So while I was serving out the penalty, the team managed to changed brake shoes. After my penalty was served, the car was back on the track, even slower than before (to preserve what brakes we had left).

As I said before, we won the Index-of-Effluency, which is the team that epitomizes the spirit of the 24-Hours-of-LeMons by showing up in the most God-awful car, interacts with other teams, and generally is the talk of the event. We also won our class, by at least 50 laps over our closest rival, and came in 23rd overall (of 58 entries). 2010 would be a whole different story.

I almost didn’t re-enter the 2010 event because my income was severely reduced due to a career loss that happened the year before. Yet, I still had the car and it was already built with all the safety gear I needed. I just had to look for new team members. You see, Mike Musto formed his very own team fielding an absolutely wretched Buick Regal. Jason Ensell, who was magnificent in the BBQ department for our team in 2009, formed his own team using the default choice in rides, a BMW E30. However, my new team included Andy Sarkozi from last year with his son Alex in tow. We also had an ace-in-the-hole by the name of Blake Rong, so we made the roster with a very abbreviated team. I had some of my family there to help, but I was definitely on a shoe-string budget.

Blake actually wrote about our exploits for the 2010 season, and you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here, as I see I am approaching 1500 words in this posting. As I wrote back in May, I decided to put down the little car that could, which is the reason why I think this car deserves to be the Hooniverse Car of the Year for 2011. This car is the essence of Hooniverse… A fairly crappy car that was an overachiever. No disrespect to the other nominees, but performance cars built by the factory, or modified by performance shops is really not the soul of Hooniverse. No, it is cars that anyone could buy who makes a modest living, that have their own idiosyncrasies, that can be worked on with a simple set of tools, and that you don’t see everyday. I think this Corvair embodies the character of the greatest car site on the planet, and I think it deserves to win this year.

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Related posts:

1. Last Call: Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer Rides Again
2. Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer is looking for Members; Are you crazy enough to join?
3. Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer: A Truer Name Couldn’t Be More Apt!
4. Hooniverse Weekend Edition – Say Goodbye to Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer
5. Team Trailing Throttle Oversteer: Its Alive…. ALIVE!