Hooniverse Asks-What’s The Most Incongruous Truck?
It is a fact that, statistically, Ford’s F150 is favored by truck buyers on the East and West Coasts, while the Chevy and the near carbon copy GMC pickups are favored by those in between. Regardless of geography, most all light-duty consumer and professional work pickups are bought by those who might be considered stereotypical truck buyers. As an example, the gentleman who is my go-to for major plumbing jobs and when I would rather not electrocute myself – Marty – drives a completely expected white job truck with pipe rack and storage bins filled with the wares of his twin trades. He also is six-foot six, with arms covered in colorful tattoos and a mid-back length braid that matches the one in his goatee. He’s also the nicest guy you could ever meet, and is as honest and competent a tradesman as you could ever want. My point is that his truck fits him to a tee.
But what about other trucks – those which seem to be the preverbal square peg in a round hole? I recently saw an Escalade on the road – and not one of the SUV ones either, no this was one of the Chevy Avalanche-bodied trucks and I wondered, who in the hell buys something like that? Remember the Lincoln Blackwood? How did that ever make it out of FoMoCo’s bean counter committee?
That’s just a couple of examples of trucks that show up for work and people ask, just what is it that you do here? There are others, in fact with the SUV and general truck craze having turned what was once a utilitarian tool into a suburban status symbol, there’s plenty of fodder for trucks that make no sense. Which one is – in your mind – the most non-sensical?
Image source: [gamesfree.ca]
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Gotta be the X-90. I'm still not sure what that was supposed to be.
<img src="http://mycarblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/suzuki-x-90.jpg"width=500>
Runner up to the Subaru Bahahahaha.
Awesome. That's what it's supposed to be, dammit.
<img src="http://www2.izook.com/images/Fig%2012%20-%20Ready%20to%20drive%20white.jpg">
I hear they work well for hauling around oversized Red Bull cans,
<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__9TTj0s27Vk/S28dBsnj-UI/AAAAAAAACT0/R9ixY-0bOPI/s400/red_bull-x90.jpg">
I've always thought of it as a mutant Del Sol….
I love the truck and for its original purpose it seems like it could have done well. What it ended up being is what made it incongruous.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/OkHxC.jpg">
LM002…For. The. Win.
I'm somewhat disappointed I've still never seen one.
Turbo late-80's Bentley? Seen one…at a gasoline station. No irony there.
Lagonda…seen a couple.
Maybachs? Meh…both 57's and 65's (or whatever the long one is)
A few AMG G-Wagens.
But an LM002? Sigh…
I've seen one a coupe of times. The first time I had no idea what it was (I was 13 or 14 at the time). A nearby Jag/Rover dealership had one. Strange and awesome beasts.
Saw a white one on the road in San Francisco. Sounded glorious, looked straight outta Robotech.
There's a gentleman in my area who has two Lincoln Mark LT's. It appears as if that's all the vehicles he has.
I don't understand.
Clearly there is a simple explanation. He is a pedophile.
Makes sense.
Maybe he wants to haul his bags of gold doubloons in comfort.
You guys really bring some valuable insight to this.
I feel as if i know my neighbor, the pedophile pirate, better.
I'll never see the phrase 'Pieces of eight' the same way again.
Okay, so what is that purple thing in the title photo, anyway? Some ex-Soviet Red Army vehicle?
UAZ 469. I recognized it instantly, but it took me 5min to find the name, because every Russian car ever is "_AZ #####".
(edit: Or I could have scrolled down a little, Cherokee Owner knew it).
<img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2008/01/000709hummerh3ta_opt.jpg">
Sure, you can fit a dirt bike in the back, but not much else.
I think I have to give them props for having a KTM in a press shot though.
At least I think it's a KTM…
You are correct. Almost everyone uses KTM's for their press shots, it seems. Except Ford.
If I had a H3T, I would also haul around KTM's.
If I ever learn to ride competently enough to feel like a liter bike wouldn't kill me (let alone actually start riding) I think I would have to have an RC8 at some point.
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hzb1we0jV4I/TfXe26v1fjI/AAAAAAAAA4Q/tH2aCwMhhvE/s1600/3.jpg" width=500>
Dude! Totally.
<img src="http://www.motorcyclenews.com/upload/207568/images/rcc8launch.JPG" width=550>
My plan, if I ever get that big-boy job, is to get a Duke.
<img src="http://blog.derestricted.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/cairoli_duke.jpg" width=500>
I recommended this blog to Black Steelies a while back. It is like a personal promotional KTM blog thing.
<a href="http://blog.derestricted.com/category/ktm/” target=”_blank”>http://blog.derestricted.com/category/ktm/
Speaking of other bikes that are weird and I like, Hell For Leather's Ural coverage has been pretty damn cool.
Dude! Totally!
I think that since Wes took a tumble on one, Ural is trying to put make it up to him by flying him to Siberia. Yeah, that sounds great. But yeah, I have really enjoyed reading about Ural's story, and how they make all the parts, in-house. Sure it is inefficient as all get out, but it is pretty damn neat.
Dang. Looks like a bike version of the Aventador, all angle-y and stuff.
It is the Austrian version of the Aventador, I think.
But…
You still have to leave the tailgate down.
FAIL!
Hell, I have to leave the tailgate down on my F-150 for my bike. I feel like kind of a doofus for doing so.
A proper dirt bike hauler allows you to get the tailgate up so your gear doesn't fall out.
I'm just going to guess what the pictures purple beast is. It's a UAZ truck, possibly a 469. What do I win?
Anyway, to answer the question, I'm putting down the Jeep Scrambler. As a truck, it's incongruous. As a Jeep though, it fits in to its environment while also being able to haul quite a bit more stuff than a contemporary CJ-5/CJ-7
I do love Crosleys, I really do, but why did they need to make a truck?
<img src="http://flashbackracing.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/DSC02089.JPG">
Actually, it's genius. That bed it is the perfect size for hauling appliances. For an established appliance manufacturer sets it's sights on the car/light truck market, what better vehicle for them to produce.
<img src="http://i450.photobucket.com/albums/qq228/JamesISpalding/shelvador-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket">
So the local repair man shows up to collect your broken Frigidaire in a Crosley…
With shrewd marketing moves like that, it's not wonder Crosley became the manufacturing giant that they are today.
Oh… wait…
I'm partial to Norge myself… http://www.hulu.com/watch/4112/saturday-night-liv…
Subaru Baja
<img src="http://www.cadillaccarpics.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Subaru-Baja-2.jpg"width=500>
What exactly are you supposed to put in a truck bed that small??!! You have to leave the tailgate down just to fit a bicycle in there.
Perfect for the Grandfather Clock Movers Association of America, though.
I was thinking the Brat.
Don't get me wrong–I love the thing. Just look at those crazy roof windows. And the jump seats! One of the most terrifying rides of my life was in one of those jump seats. Them thar bike grip handles come in handy.
The Brat was a great car, a fun car, a car with descent handling and good fuel economy. But it was a car. With a truck bed.
<img src="http://www.carszfocus.info/images/subaru-brat.jpg" width="500/">
What, you mean a ute?
<img src="http://images.drive.com.au/drive_images/dealer/mikstemot/00004090/1_600.jpg" width="400">
In my opinion the Baja is the perfect Jet Ski hauler — 2,400-pound towing capacity, AWD, and most notably, no sopping wetsuits getting the carpet wet on the way home.
"Sopping wetsuits" could just as easily be handled by a Weathertech trunk or cargo area mat.
<img src="http://www.wondermomsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/weathertech-cargo-liner.jpg"width=500>
I can think of very little the bed of a Baja could handle that couldn't be handled by the trunk of a full sized car.
Congratulations on finding what is perhaps the one thing the Baja is perfectly suited to.
This comes to mind:
<img src="http://files.conceptcarz.com/img/Chevrolet/chevy_SSR_manu-05_0003-1024.jpg" width="500">
Image taken from conceptcarz.com
It really did look like it had terrible cellulite.
I'm just happy I succeeded to embed my first image!
I never understood the idea behind this particular truck. Let's take the seating from a Blazer, and put a wall behind it, followed immediately by a two-foot bed. <img src="http://www.truck-reviews.com/Chevy_S-10.jpg">
Yep, this one and the Ford-based abomination.
I once rode RT in the back seat from Denver to The Springs, and back. It sucked.
I once rode in the backseat of an Explorer pickup from Vail to Leadville, that was no fun.
I kind of get it, there's some cargo you just don't want in the cabin with you, while still needing a back seat. It's a very third-world vehicle, but I sort of get it.
I always thought of it as a way for a "truck guy" to still retain some dignity while not totally giving in to the SUV trend, and all the while saying: *shaking fist in the air* "I don't care if my groceries get rain-soaked…I still refuse to buy a sport utility!"
For the North American market, absolutely. I don't even see the utility as that big of a deal – it's what, a 5-foot bed? That's not much worse than the standard 6.5 foot bed most compact pickups have (a friend of mine, his dad's a house painter who gets by just fine with the most basic Ranger he could find).
You also see enough of these on The Amazing Race, where many are pressed into third-world taxi duty.
I'm with you. Not really a truck in the truck sense, but it's a good hauler for miscellaneous car parts and other similar junk. Especially gas soaked junk.
My mom used to have one of these.
…and my dad's on his second equivalently-equipped Colorado. While it was absurd for them both to have trucks at the same time (my mom now has an Impala, and loves it), they make sense for what most people actually use trucks for: commuting and the odd Home Depot run.
…but a Subaru Baja would have made yet more sense in that application, really.
<img src="http://www.flixya.com/files-photo/v/e/e/veera264127.jpg">
Isetta Carro I think it's called.
Just imagine it full of tomatoes or watermelons, then it begins to make sense.
… Yes… yes it does.
<img src="http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/5901/veera264127withamelon.jpg" width="500">
It's horribly inefficient.
In Japan they grow square watermelons. Perhaps those would be relevant to the owner's interests.
<img src="http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/square-watermelons-1.jpg" />
Then it'd fit two!
How about tomatoes though?
Then it'd fit…more!
)
Look, I'm not gonna photoshop five tomatoes in there; it'd take too much time to crop out all the space between the vines. Next you're gonna tell me to put a pineapple in the back…
(is kidding…I'd do it if you pay me
Perhaps some bushels of olives?Wheels of cheese?Balsamic vinegar?Grapes?Prazhute?
Are we making pizza? (With, grapes. Of course!)
Can you find a picture of one with cherry tomatoes, I'd imagine that'd be better.
square cherry tomatoes, preferably.
Why? How many watermelons do you eat at once?
*wink wink*
Wiki'd
The PT Cruiser is a front-wheel drive 5-passenger vehicle, classified as a truck in the U.S. by the NHTSA for CAFE fuel economy calculations but as a car by most other metrics. Chrysler specifically designed the PT Cruiser to fit the NHTSA criteria for a light truck in order to bring the average fuel efficiency of the company's light truck fleet into compliance with CAFE standards
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/41/06-08_Chrysler_PT_Cruiser.jpg/250px-06-08_Chrysler_PT_Cruiser.jpg">
GMC L’Universelle, for being too far ahead of its time.
<img src="http://image.motortrend.com/f/9227243+w569+h356+ar1/0107_MTRP_05_ih_LOST-C.jpg" width=500>
<img src="http://i61.servimg.com/u/f61/12/51/89/13/55_gmc10.jpg" width=500>
<img src="http://www.carstyling.ru/Static/SIMG/420_0_I_MC_jpg_W/resources/concept/1955_GMC_L-Universelle_Concept_Truck_Look_of_Things.jpg?DF16E92D9DCCC7953718CE37BE0CD53B" width=500>
I did how up-front they are about your arms and legs being the crumple zone.
Apparently you didn't notice the Dagmars.
…Or got distracted by them.
Oh god I want it.
This:
<img src="http://www.4x4offroads.com/image-files/2001-ford-explorer-sport-trac-4×4-001.jpg">
Ford Explorer SUV is based on Ford Ranger Pick Up. Ford Explorer SportTrac is pickup based on SUV based on pickup. Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
Which is exactly my problem with it…
Jinx! You owe me a Coke!
What's the saying? Great hoons think alike?
I like them, don't get me wrong, but they aren't a very good truck. And they stayed on the old platform after it's namesake had switched over to the much more stable and comfortable chassis.
<img width=500 src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/44/1st-Ford-Explorer-Sport-Trac.jpg">
I'm sure I'll catch flack, but the whole lowered, tiny wheeled chopped import tuner truck thing. If you're going to do that, stick with a Civic like everyone else and leave the compact trucks for those who can actually use them.
SAVE THE COMPACT PICKUPS! AND GET OFF MY LAWN!
/shakescane
The only thing I will say in defense of this trend, is the fact that, most of the time, these trucks that have been bagged and chopped, dropped and notched, are usually done so by the third owner, or better. And most have been "rescued" from an otherwise doomed future in the local pick-a-part yard. Hell, I know a local kid that got a hold of a really nice, but well used 84 Datsun Pickup that belonged to a fella who owned a painting business. The truck had literally a half-million miles on it, but was still solid enough to salvage. Now it's resting on 18's, but it beats the alternative…which would most likely be it resting in a boneyard.
It sure is pretty, but not much of a truck. I think there's a reason the El Camino and Ranchero went away.
<img src="http://www.thetorquereport.com/2010_g8_sport_truck3.jpg" width="600">
I prefer my utility vehicles to be RWD with zero weight over the drive wheels, because it snows where I live.
Well, if you ever travel to Australia you'll see plenty of tradesmen using them, or variations of them. While many do come with enormous V8s, and don't see much use as working vehicles, many are used as load-haulers and commercial vehicles. Australians generally don't see the need for gigantic American-style full-size trucks, even for towing or hauling.
Another way to consider them is as a front-engined, rear-drive two-door sports car with a really big trunk.
Correct. Not a truck. A utility coupe. The Ford Falcon ute is a better hauler due to being leaf sprung in the rear.
As stickmanonymous has indicated they are very often used by tradespeople (tradies).
However tradies usually opt for the tray back version rather than the "styleside".
<img src="http://www.privatefleet.com.au/images/upload/Image/Ford%20Falcon%20Ute.jpg" width="400">
The ole Dodge Rampage was another "truck" no truck buyer would be caught dead buying.
I honestly wish they'd done better and that more were still driving around. Because every time I see one, I giggle. They're like a self-contained sight gag.
<img src="http://mysite.verizon.net/superdave369/Rampage/RampageSC01.jpg" width=500">
I actually saw one in really good shape fairly recently. I was surprised and delighted.
I sorta think the ones that are still on the road are still on the road because their owners love 'em lots.
Which forces me to re-think my long-standing opinion of them, and wonder if there's something in the Rampage that's lovable, and that enthusiasts want to keep to themselves.
Possibly that utes are awesome but Mopar utes are better?
<img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5049/5320947191_94efa2bc9e.jpg" width="400">
Dang, that looks nice. And RWD.
The ute style car is growing on me. Not enough to buy on yet, but maybe someday.
Haha, did not realise that the Rampage was was front-wheel drive! Ahh, you know what they say about assumptions.
Anyhow, here is some more Valiant utilty goodness…
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Chrysler_VF_Valiant_Wayfarer_utility.jpg" width="300">
<img src="http://www.shannons.com.au/library/images/auctions/GC4E000TU9A31P15_medium.jpg" width="300">
The single-seat Daihatsu Midget II kei truck. Offered in both flat-bed and cargo versions. …For those friends you like enough to help move, but don't like enough to sit in a cab with.
<img src="http://j-spec.com.au/yg93124601/1996-Daihatsu-Midget-Ii-Obscurity_1.jpg" width="512">
Or, if your friends are a commune of squatters that have few possessions, you can go in the other direction — the Wuling LZW1010 SD double cab kei truck.
<img src="http://mjs.home.xs4all.nl/1010psn.jpeg">
I want a Midget II but I have no idea what I'd actually do with it.
Three words, none of which belong together — Ferrari. Micro. Truck.
<img src="http://i42.tinypic.com/2n07er4.jpg">
(yea, I know it's really a Subaru.)
Ferrari. Suicide. Doors!
Does it have a modern boxer four? That would be too perfect.
<img src="http://exclusivehicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dodge-ram-srt-10.jpg" width=500 /img>
It's fantastic at annihilating rear tires, and it can hustle fairly well (although you're going to get thrown around the massive cabin), but it's pretty much incapable of truck duties.
Never driven one but always wondered about the handling. The torsion bar suspension in my late model Ram leads to some … uh … eccentricities.
Hmmm….. Much like the latest Maloo.. Looks great, goes like the clap, mostly useless…
<img src="http://www.wholesalesuspension.com.au/pics/gallery/large/hsv/white_ve_maloo_001.jpg" width="400">
I used my Syclone to haul refrigerators, sheets of plywood and drywall, and a riding mower, but nothing too heavy. To me, though, a truck needs to be capable of towing a trailer.
<img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/450/3181/26124090001_large.jpg">
<img src="http://www.syclone-typhoon.com/images/Syclone_USA_Today_Ad.jpg" width=500>
You used the past tense… this makes me sad.
Two seats used to be plenty, but eventually my family grew to the point that trips in it meant somebody had to stay home. When a guy with a Typhoon had his wife become an ex-wife, he decided he wouldn't be needing those extra seatbelts anytime soon, so we traded.
Oh, all good then.
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