Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1973 Dodge Truck Edition
It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving, and once again its time for another Hooniverse Classic Captions Contest. We are now 
into our 22nd week posting all manner of classic imagery for you to enjoy. To recap, this is the feature in which I find images from all around the internet that was used by the car companies themselves in their advertising or brochures. It is then up to you to provide an interesting, humorous, or off color caption that matches the image. Just to entice you to come and join our little game, I am now offering prizes for the best caption, and this week it is a Scion iQ Skull Cap. You still can’t purchase the car yet, but you can own the cap with a witty comment.
Last weeks image was of a large family, and there were few comments that went off on a tangent with condiments as the overall theme. There were some excellent captions that were in the running, but the overwhelming favorite was from our friend Alff: “It was at this photo shoot that young Susan Docherty, a marketing intern with Plymouth, coined the term 
“model bloat”. She gave up trying to correct the misunderstanding years ago.” Susan if you’re reading this, I apologize… But it was still funny none-the-less.
It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. It is an advertising image for the Dodge Truck Line. This was a push by Chrysler at that time to increase the sales of the Class 7 and Class 8 large truck line. The one on the left is a CT800, while the one on the right is a CNT900. In the center is a curvaceous young thing sporting a white western hat that ties in with the Dodge Boys advertising theme of the day. So, is she some prop used to get your attention, and if she is did it work? I’m sure we will receive a bevy of comments on this one… (You can click here to see the full size image)
You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will then be hard at work trying to weigh which caption is the best, and which ones can’t carry anything. The winner will receive the Scion Skull Cap, so start working on your line.
Lead Image Courtesy of Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream
Related posts:
- Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1973 Imperial Edition – Yes, it’s an Imperial!
- Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1969 AMC Rebel Wagon Edition
- Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1985 Pontiac Fiero Edition
- Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1960 Studebaker Lark Convertible Edition
- Hooniverse Classic Captions – The 1970 Plymouth Valiant Edition
Her hat, much like this ad, fell a little short of making a point.
Dumps like a truck indeed.
Would you get a look at that! Why who on earth would even think to put on such a ridiculous getup? The nerve of some people wearing whites after Labor Day!
Spot the six articles of clothing that are inappropriate for wearing in a quarry.
Two right off the bat – bra and panties.
Like your women naked in the quarry eh?
Large, widely spaced headlights were a Dodge signature in those days.
"Sure, you can have the girl. Just pick which truck to carry the baggage in."
With apologies to Alff:
LOOK AT MY HEADLIGHTS!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!
Ever since the vice squad started surveillance on the truck stop parking lots, the prostitutes have been resorting to camouflage.
Kids, name three things in the picture that have bumpers.
The 1973 Dodge CNT900, for those extra heavy flow days.
"Looking for something that can handle *your* load? The Dodge Boys have the model you need."
Her name is Life. Grab her by the horns.
Life is a highway, and I'm gonna ride it all night long.
Nobody ever said Life was easy……..they just promised that she would be worth it.
Ah, now I see the meaning of Life.
Yep……..Life is simple, she's just not easy.
I thought Life cereal went down the easiest. I might have to retract that.
Life…Mikey likes her! He really likes her!
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
No, I'm serious. When she's on her meds, she's awesome. When she isn't (or it's that time of the month), well…
Life sucks…
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good when you're in, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
Sound like a circulation issue.
This ad ran nationally, albeit with some variation in the copy. In southern publications, the caption read, "Like Their Owners, All Dodge Trucks Come in White."
If it's not white, you might want to check with a urologist.
They always said she could suck the chrome off a bumper. She's finished with the 8000 now do you want to see her do that to the 9000?
Dodge trucks attract only the best lot lizards.
Glen Larson's "The Highwaywoman" just didn't appeal to the same crowd as his earlier shows
how about
Really she's running for President on the Republican ticket?
or
Fiat's effects on Chryslers advertising can be shown here. They just dont know how to sell to the American public
Who said it's un-American to respect the French? Hell, these two trucks are about to pay homage to the Eiffel tower right now!
Dodge Trucks: we're sure not pretty, but we're gentler on your pocketbooks than some…
Dodge Trucks: She's got two big ones!
Dodge Trucks: They come with a stick and don't handle curves all that well.
Women: They come with curves and don't handle…well, I'll just stop there.
Those that don't, well those are the women to Dodge.
And here we have a big white pair. Of trucks. Dodge trucks, big ones.
When it comes to trucks, I believe bigger is better.
While Tom Sawyer's friends were busy whitewashing that fence, he went looking for some other things to get busy with.
Can't Dodge those!
How Brad Pitt's character would have been cast, had Thelma and Louise been a Lesbian buddy picture…
Wait, you mean it wasn't?
As naive as she was pretty, she thought Reverse Cowgirl had something to do with driving backwards while in costume.
"So how is she in bed?"
"Don't know. It tilted up and dumped us out before I could find out."
She's used to being dumped. In fact she's turned it into a hobby
One girl, two dumps.
Do these trucks make me look fat?
Rubber-isolated mounting is recommended for all three of these, but it's only standard equipment on the Dodge Trucks.
She's got dumps like a truck-truck-truck…
Which one would you like to see dump a load?
Love Hurts, and so does a Dodge.
Jumping Jeebus on a Pogo-Stick! When I scrolled down and saw that picture, I made an audible gasp, all the blood drained out of my face and every muscle in my body clenched up with Fear. The bartender said she thought I was having a heart attack.
My brother had a 8000 for a while, and it was truly without a doubt the worst Truck I've ever known. Gutless, impossible to see out of, prone to break down and then an absolute bear to work on, and while Truck-Drivers throw the term about loosely, it really did ride and handle like a three-legged mule. He eventually sold it and got a GMC Astro, quite possibly the second-worst Truck I can think of but light-years ahead of that Dodge.
OTOH the first Dodge I ever drove was the '69 C700 shown here, and somehow I wound up buying that blue Dakota and my avatar's Challenger anyway.
<img src="http://i847.photobucket.com/albums/ab40/ptschett/Dodge Dakota/DSC01310.jpg" width="500">
The old yellow thing was the first semi on my Dad's farm, they'd bought it before I was born and it was still being used to haul hay bales with a flatbed till after I was out of high school, with the dump truck conversion coming later. I remember the power band of the 413 being tough to manage (if you left the 2600-4000 RPM range, you did so at your own risk) and it got only 3 or 4 MPG whether it was loaded or not.
A study in relativity: When placed between the '73 Dodge trucks, even Boss Hogg looks attractive.
You get my vote.
*Good, you're reading the fine print! None of the prostitutes you will murder as a 1973 Dodge CT800 or CNT900 driver will look like her, sorry. On the plus side a 38,000lb payload capacity will ensure you can haul many dead prostitutes. Dealer may murder for less.
And in the middle: the CNT1000!
Dodge Trucks Haul Ass