A Valiant Conqueror in the San Francisco Frontier
Looking like a scene from one of Robert Bechtle‘s works, this Valiant was parked nose-in by Russian Hill, overlooking one of the city’s famous hills. This particular Plymouth still had its original California blue plates, and with its straight lines, clean white paint, and gloriously simple dog-dish hubcaps, looks like a detective’s car in a 1970s buddy-cop show.
San Fran may be a major metropolitan city, with all the inherent quirks that come with navigating a city (hopeless drivers, pedestrians, one-ways out the wazoo), but its climate, low traffic density and straight grid layout make it a veritable haven for old, heavy cars such as these that crush their own gravel and can’t clear the bottom of hills without shooting sparks into the legs of homeless people.
Besides, there’s something righteous about driving a big ol’ Yank Tank in San Francisco. Don’t ask me why. Somehow, it targets the same irrational complex of the brain as riding dirtbikes in Mauna Loa, or finding a guy with a biplane and reenacting that scene from North by Northwest in Barstow (because, presumably, there’s no room to do that anywhere else). But perhaps it’s ingrained in San Franciscan culture—fueled by Bullitt and The Streets of San Francisco and Driver: You Are The Wheelman for the PC and Playstation console. Kowalski never made it to Frisco, but somehow the destination feels right. If he had to deliver that Challenger to, say, Scottsdale, would we still sit through Death Proof?
San Francisco sits at the end of the American frontier, the mighty Pacific looming past Ocean Beach, the cumulation of what Frederick Jackson Turner was talking about. Beyond San Fran lies the Asian powers, whose rise threatens to drive us into the same deep, emasculating depression that occurred…while this car was being built, come to think of it. In this globally connected world that Turner and his sweet mustache would have never dreamed about, American companies like the Big Three have leaped past this boundary to invade the Chinese market and seek their fortunes there…and leave behind such slow-selling baggage as this, or the entire Plymouth division, for that matter.
But the late 1960s and early 1970s were San Francisco’s time to shine. And even though those eras may be gone forever, there’s still a car and a place that, when combined, becomes an event. This Valiant may sound the siren song of hoons everywhere (see above), but even just sitting there, it evokes…a certain something. Something that feels right, like scraping the bottom on Stockton Street while “LA Woman” rattles through a two-speaker 8-track. Let’s hope the owner fixes it up in due time so it can give him back all of this—this whatever the hell I’m talking about.
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This looks like a bottom-line fleet special, like the sort Ma Bell and city utility departments used to have. PJ O'Rourke once described Darts and Valiants as cars that refuse to die no matter how badly you want them to.
Naturally, I want it.
Love the attitude in the write-up. This is why I can't wait for third-generation Vipers to get old and tattered… somehow, they'll be even more badass as ragged, rumbling street warriors.
Radical photograph. And a pretty good story as well.
"Big ol’ Yank Tank"? "Old, heavy cars such as these that crush their own gravel"? What point of view are you writing this from? In its time, this car was a *compact* – the smallest domestic car that Chrysler made. It weighed a paltry 2,850 pounds – less than a 2011 VW Golf. Jeez, we should put you in something like a '59 Lincoln Continental or a '74 Cadillac Fleetwood for perspective.
I probably should have clarified, I meant most American cars of the era, not necessarily the Valiant.
I wasn't really trying to get on your case, it was more just me being amused about the differences in perspective. But it's also important to realize just how heavy modern vehicles have gotten. The '74 Fleetwood I mentioned weighed around 5,200 pounds. That's a lot, but it was also a massive car (234 inches in length), yet it's weight is far less than a current Maybach 57 or Rolls Ghost. Or a lot of bigger SUVs for that matter.
Excellent prose BZR!!!
This heavy car that can crush its own gravel and can’t clear the bottom of hills without shooting sparks into the legs of homeless people weighs less than a new VW Golf. Valiants don’t even seem that big anymore. It once again makes some sense that they were considered compacts when they were new. I had a ’71 Scamp in the ’80s. It seemed pretty mid-sized at the time, but cars have only grown since.
Guess I struck a cord with the "yank tank" shtick. The thing is, even if it ISN'T that heavy, it looks like it is. Because it's solid, and from the 1970s. And I would def take this over a Vdub.
Looks like the ideal candidate for one of these…. http://www.hemiperformance.com.au/store2/index.ph…
Paint it red and put the full wheelcovers on it, and you're ready to pretend you're Dennis Weaver in Duel.
"You can't catch me on the upgrade!"
Yes, it was a compact, up against the Nova, Falcon/Maverick, and Rambler American/AMC Hornet.
This is HooniContent that makes us all
. Keep up the great work and photography.
This 1958 Packard Hawk (I'm pretty sure) lives in the southern part of the Noe Valley neighborhood in San Francisco.
<img src="http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/7775/packardhawk1958.jpg" width="500">
That Packard is the coolest looking thing I've seen in months… I didn't know any Hawk came with a beautiful schnozz like that. Want.
It's made even more awesome with those later steel wheels. I can feel attitude radiating from it four thousand miles away.
Great write-up and pictures. Big fan of this style and these posts!