Calling all Hooniversians: Rename LeMons New England, win fabulous prizes!

If you win, we'll try to make sure this won't happen to you.

Here at Hooniverse, we’re all friends of LeMons. (As you are too, I imagine.) So any chance to help this organization achieve its goal of taking over the world achieving the zenith of crapcar racing excellence is welcome. And now you can join us!

A quick glance at the 2010 LeMons calendar reveals a packed schedule. There are races in 11 states across the country. They’re at racetracks as diverse as Thunderhill, Mid-America, and Autobahn Country Club. There are even a couple of car shows thrown in there to mix things up a little. And one event in particular, the aptly-titled LeMons New England, happening July 24-25th at Stafford Motor Speedway, is looking a bit funny there…

Where’s the love for the states that founded the country? Why should races in other regions get catchy, zany titles like Gator-O-Rama, Arse-Freeze-Apalooza, Laissez les Crapheaps Roulez, Southern Discomfort (slang for gastrointestinal infection, no doubt) or the vaunted Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500? What’s a “blagojevich,” anyway? Some obscene Yiddish swear word? That’s weaksauce, brah. Surely we lobster-shucking, bean-farting, gay-marrying, tax-inflating, Sawx-loving, molasses-drowning, non-rhoticizing, Godsmack-blaring, Volvo-driving, Kennedy-stalking, teddy-bear-making, Sam-Adams-chugging, Boston-Massacring, Big-Digging, McGovern-voting, Yale-namedropping, secession-threatening, Good-Will-Hunting, Hahvahd-Yahd-pahking bunch of hoity-toity liberal weenies can do better than that!

So we’re putting you, Dear Commentariat, to work. Think of a name for this wonderful event that best captures the essence of New England: the beautiful autumn scenery, the quaint 18th-century villages, the prepubescent oral hygenic nanny state hand-wringing. Draw from your experiences living in this fine region–but even better if you haven’t,  as you can draw on the finest grab-bag of regional stereotyping available to those in flyover country out-of-staters!

Later this week I’ll post the finest titles for our readers to vote on—after all, you won’t have anything better to do at work, anyway. And the commenter with the finest name will win a fabulous Hooniverse/LeMons prize pack! Including a “lightly sweated” LeMons hoodie, a Hooniverse T-shirt, and Aerosmith tickets the undying love of millions of hoons around the Boston–Washington megalopolis. Try wrangling that out of Bob Barker’s cold, dead hands.

Here’s a completely gratuitous Dropkick Murphys song to help spark some inspiration.

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