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Hooniverse News Network- Toyota Matrix Car Wash Attack!

Robert Emslie March 10, 2010 All Things Hoon 10 Comments

Wetter Pussycat - Kill! Kill!

The Cape Cod Times is reporting that a South Dennis woman was dragged through a Rte 134 car wash by her Toyota. Carol Burton-Groman, 74, of South Yarmouth got out of her 2008 Matrix, but then was inexplicably drawn back to the car, as if under its spell, and was dragged into the Shell car wash as the pusher mechanism engaged.

Burton-Groman was able to free herself, but not before being dragged through the wash. The unattended Matrix attempted to make a clean getaway, but was foiled by an opportunistically placed tree at the edge of the service station’s parking lot. Burton-Groman was taken to the hospital complaining of pain to her lag and hip, but is currently reported in stable condition.

There is no word from Toyota whether this incident will spur another spate of recalls, or possible owner warning to only hand-wash their cars, but remains yet another black mark on the already besmirched reputation of the automaker.

TRUTH TIME: While it is truly sad  that a little old lady got dragged through a car wash (stop laughing!) the above should be read as satire, and I posted this to bring up a point, which is that not all Toyota-related injuries are the fault of the corporation, or their products. There are people digging back ten or twenty years to claim accidents involving Toyotas for which they have been blamed were really the fault of the car. This despite the fact that those cars shared nothing with the modern cars that do seem to have issues. This “Toyota Defense” is becoming a prevalent method to scapegoat the carmaker, and potentially offering an out for those convicted of criminal vehicular actions, but that doesn’t make it right.

So, if you drive a Toyota, go ahead and patronize the car wash- just pay attention to the signs.

Image source: [wikimedia]

  • This is America. Nothing is my fault. Personal responsibility is a foreign concept. Plus, if I can make a few bucks off an "evil, large corporation" what's the harm?

    • If Dirty Harry was fascistic while worrying about the rights of the victim, what am I for worrying about the rights of the accused?

  • I'm convinced, even having been there, that the town of Dennis exists for only two reasons: as a punchline for a punny joke about Barney Frank, and as an impossible destination when travelling from Strongbadia.

    I guess now there's a third reason.

  • Oh noes! I hope this is the first and last mention of the Toyota recall. That is so not hoon-worthy. Wait, is it the first mention? What day is it? Where am I? Who are you people and what are you doing in my house?

    /Memory loss is a bitch, especially in your twenties.

  • Not since the Supra has there been so many Toyotas that have required so much driver input!

  • Is anyone else bewildered by the part where she got out of her car for the auto wash? I've never done that…

    • Back home in Waukesha, WI, there is a very large car wash that makes you get out while the car is run through all the mechanisms that you would normally sit through in any other car wash. I can only assume it's because they either had the foresight to avoid just this thing or had just this thing happen.

      Either way, it's cool – you get to walk along watching your car get washed through giant windows and then you and the car pop out at the end, reunited. Awwww.

      • Such fancy ways… I'll have to take the Jeep down to one and see how it goes.

  • Last night on the 11pm news here in DC, the top story was about 2 Prius in two days that ran off with their owners. What I failed to comprehend was that one was an 05, one an 08, and it was reported no where that these cars had ever taken off with their drivers before.

    This begs the question, how did Honda hack in and when are they going to stop pushing the "Go Faster" button?

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