1) Some of my earliest memories are of riding in the back of my cousin's conversion vans in the very early 80s. It had a table and a refrigerator in the back. It seemed enormous at the time. Later, their cat died in it and wasn't discovered for a week. The van was sold shortly thereafter.

2) While working for my uncle in the late 90s, I performed mobile 12v work out of two Chevy Vans—a '78 "20" and an '86. The '78 was rusty to the core, but ran a rebuilt 350 and studded snow tires year round. Spark-throwing burnouts in a van with a giant company logo on the side? Yes.

2a) I was borrowing the '86 (also with huge company logo) during a cold, cold winter while my Jeep was disabled. Because it takes FOREVER for a full-size cargo van to heat up, I occasionally donned a ski mask while driving. During one such occasion, I was going to visit a friend in a somewhat sketchy neighborhood—I noticed news vans, and later found out that a murder had occurred in the area. How did I find out? My irate uncle called me to ask why I was driving his van, wearing a ski mask, on the news, during coverage of a murder. Apparently the action shot of me driving through was irresistible to some programmer with a healthy sense of humor.

3) My cousins (of dead cat fame) ran a nursery, and Dodge Tradesman vans were their main transport vehicles for Gladiolus (flowers). There is still at least one of them around, parked in a barn, totally pristine and rust-free. I want it so badly I can taste it.

/End vangasm