Let’s say you, and 40 of your friends- all rubber noses and big-floppy shoes – need to rock the red carpet so you can collect your award for best pie throwing in a drama, how would you arrive? A town car doesn’t seem appropriate- piling out like a coke dealer and his pale, mini-skirted entourage. No, you need something that makes a statement, something like a Fiat 500 limo with a full landau roof and faux spare bump on the engine lid.
Offered on eBay, and currently up to $3,250 in bidding, this ‘67 Fiat has been stretched like a bum’s last 40. Despite the added length and weight, it still is sitting on four-lug rims and has the Fiat twin-lung out back- which probably pumped out a good 23-hp when it was new.
A Lincoln grill and free-standing lights deny the nose any dignity it once may have possessed, and the padded roof has the appearance of a desiccated manatee. But hey, with a little elbow grease, and a few spurts of paint from your gag lapel flower, you’ll be in clown-car heaven.
The big question is what kind of booze would a clown car owner keep in the bar? I’m thinking some kind of Quince Schnapps. Of course, dribble glasses would be a given.
As award season is just around the corner, you’ll need to stop clowning around and get to some serious bidding on this little limo. Even if you’re not a practitioner of the greatest art form known to man, there’s got to be other uses for so large a tiny car- perhaps you could become some kind of midget call-girl pimp with it?
Thanks to LTDScott for the tip.
fuck. yes.
hell. yes. [in case i get deleted]
Someone'll fucking report you. Watch that damn tongue.
HEY… BOTH OF YOU…
STOP FUCKING SWEARING ALREADY
…fuck
Oh shit it's the Admins! Run!
alright, there is the precedent i was waiting for…
Well it certainly does show the diversity of the word.
The New New Chrysler's answer to the New Chrysler's Lebaron Limo perhaps?
No, this is the next Imperial.
Yeah, but at least the Imperial had Mr. Drysdale!!
http://oleragtop.blogspot.com/2009/12/sedans-seda...
This is for clowns who drink a bit too much and then go around chopping kids' limbs off with machetes. That's how insane you'd have to be to even attempt a journey in this car. Imagine getting sideswiped by a douchebag snorting lines in a Hummer.
It's not just that it's so poorly done, it's that there's so much of it that's been poorly done. My favorite part is, if you "complete the circle" suggested by the spare tire bump, well, I think the tire might actually be below ground level.
I now understand the synergies between Fiat and Chrysler. This car was the missing link: a decent car, "upgraded" and executed SO. FUCKING. BADLY. that you can't do anything but shake your head in shame.
Bunch of fucking hooligans.
This must be Michael Bolton's car, as it looks like it belongs to a no-talent ass-clown.
Cannoli as in "Leave the?" If so, 'bout freakin' time you showed up!
Welcome!
Yeah, where the hell you been, goombah?
Anyhow, Eldrock Bolton would be proud of this fine automobile.
You know if the front and rear-ends of this were un-fornicated, I'd be really drawn to it. Is that wrong?
Crap, of course it is. I'm hopeless …
Just the front, rear, and MIDDLE. Otherwise it is just fine.
Is that a Morgan next to it?