Help me help you!
There are many tasks that are difficult, and then there are those peculiar few challenges that seem completely insurmountable. This is where only eagles dare, where the brave stalwartly reside. And then there are tasks that make grown men weep: like conducting an intervention on a Porschephile to cure him of his self-destructive habit.
Let’s get one thing straight before you all go and flame the bejesus out of this thread: I’m not hating on air-cooled Porsches. As they say, Porsche’s one hell of a drug. I love those quirky motors, with their prodigious leaks, the thermal expansion issues, pulled head studs, the impenetrable service manual. But to play with fire, you have to bring a fire extinguisher, and in the case of Stuttgart’s finest, that fire extinguisher suffocates the flames with your life savings. My good friend and fellow hoon, let’s call him Ricardo, got the bug real bad when he got a great line on a cheap fixer upper – a ’76 911 Targa. Two years later, he’s got two busted (and worthless) 2.7 liter motors and a 3.0 out of an SC with the infamous broken head stud problem. He’s put a lot of sweat and curses into that impetuous fraulein, and he’s come up snake eyes. It was really a valiant effort, but there comes a time when all this too must pass.
So he likes ze Germans, and he wants some performance. And yet, despite all my pleading, he won’t even look askance at a Merc 190E 2.3 16V (as seen earlier today), or an M3 of any variety. I need to switch this guy off the hard stuff and onto a more tractable methadone-like vehicular substance. Faced with this situation, and an absolute top end of $12,000, how would you cure a Porsche addict of his habit?
Dude, don't look at me… my addiction really isn't any better.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was the 2.7 that pulled head studs in warm weather, while the 3.0 is relatively bulletproof if maintained by anyone with half a brain.
….and yes, if I get the job I'm angling for, I'm going to immediately start socking away cash to buy one of the following: a Pinzgauer, a 911SC, or a Citroen ID/DS. Yes, I am insane.
If you want "easy to live with" I can't say that "M3" would be my first choice. Cool car, but still crap that's gonna leave you strung out on the street. Why not just do a Miata or S2000 and enjoy your free weekends. Go to a movie! You'll have a few extra bucks.
I wish he'd bite on a Japanese car. $12k would buy a really sick 240z (if he wants to preserve some classic sportscar elements), or even a decent S2000 as you point out. Those are manically fun to drive. (And he's driven my '95 Miata but wouldn't ever buy one – shame.) He's got it BAD.
*cough* boxster *cough* …. escapes via VW beetle
But I can just see the beautiful potential in that Porsche.
I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who thought that…
Guys, that's one seriously beat Porsche. Yes it could be great, but damn.
It's a pandemic!
Maybe convince him to drop something less German in the back of his 911, be it some form of LS V8, a Subaru flat-6, or something I haven't thought of yet. Or, direct him towards a Porsche 914 – it's a gateway car. He might see it as being the little brother to his immobile vehicle, and warm up to it. Next thing you know, he's moved on to all forms of air-cooled V-dubs (you know he's got it bad when he's driving a Squareback). And maybe one day, he'll have gone reasonably conventional and bought a used Audi TT, to which he immediately ups the boost.
Locost with a redblock engine. Fast, reliable, and cheap.
It may not directly apply to the question, but it's always a good answer.
/enabler/
$12k can get a really nice 968.
Can't be a Porsche? Gotta be German?
I love the E30 M3, but if you find one for $12k, it's not going to be trouble free.
I like the 190E as well, but neither the Benz, nor the Bimmer is going to sate the tastes of a Porschephile.
I wouldn't give up on the air cooled 911, but it should be noted that, in general, the money spent on one will return exponentially better reliability. Don't try to get the cheapest. Buy the best that you can afford (minus a little bit for the inevitable shortcomings)
A $5000 911 will take another $10k and 6 months to sort out. A $12k 911 should be drivable straight away.
That's the conclusion HE'S reached … as he's currently lusting after a blue '84 911SC with a RUF front clip. I fear disaster with a higher entry price …
Get an M6 and have Mad_Science spruce it up…
You are mad, sir! Mad, I say!
If you can get him our of Deutschland:
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cto/1470839089...
If not, this one's a looker:
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cto/1468800150...
I don't have a problem, man… That isn't motor oil on my arm, I swear!
What about an NSX? Could you find one so cheap? Sorry I present more questions than answers?
I can't imagine you could find an NSX for under $15,000 that's in any drivable condition.
Unfortunatly the only way to get someone off of his 911 tract (if he isn't willing to leave) is to lead him down another alley of Porscheness, I now recomend to you either a 924 Turbo from 1981/1982 or a Porsche 944 from 1985-1/2 and up and last but not least 928 if he doesn't mind going with an auto.
The Porsche mindset runs deep and hard but I know personally from owning a 924 turbo that it's good fun and it's cheaper then a 911. Also theres a bunch of open knowledge out there from places like Rennlist, Pelican Parts and 924board.org.
To be completely honest though I don't think he'll budge especially if he's two years in and still has nothing but parts and pieces and no running car.
A Corvair with a V-8 conversion. Lots of power and the engine in the wrong end of the car. Likely to break down, but cheap to fix. You just wouldn't have a really snobby club to join.
$12k will get a pretty nice LT-1 C4 Vette. TORQUE and handling without the quality or precision.
Eugh. Not to be argumentative, but from where I stand, there is no such thing as a "nice" C4 Corvette… except perhaps one that has been treated to a great deal of C4 explosives. Them's some UGLY, tacky-looking cars.
You need to see a Gran Sport, or perhaps a ZR-1 in person. I suppose reputation helps appearances.
Personally, every time I see a rear engined Porsche I think VW Bug. I think the 91 aero refresh really helped the looks of the C4s. As the former owner of a 94 Vette, I thought the C4s were pretty good looking cars, and a great bang for the buck to drive.
German, eh? I guess that rules out the Citroen SM, my standard "what project car" answer.
Old-school choice: BMW 2002. German engineering without German seriousness. Twelve grand can find you a really nice 2002 that will keep a smile on your face all day long. They're not as fast as new cars, but they're both sporty and comfortable. They can easily be daily drivers, if one is so inclined, but they can also be tweaked into a razor-sharp track weapon.
New-school choice: BMW E36 M3. 240 horsepower in a chassis that Car and Driver decided was "the best-handling car in the world." Fifteen years after it was introduced, it doesn't seem as blindingly fast as it used to, but it's still a hell of a performance car. Like the 2002, it can be used every day or tuned for the track; in fact, you can make it deal with the track pretty well while still keeping it docile enough to take to the grocery store.
Crazy choice: Mercedes 280SE 4.5. No, it's not a sports car. It's also not the batshit-crazy 300SEL 6.3, which can still be found for twelve grand or less. But by getting the 4.5 he can avoid the 6.3's air suspension (spectacular, but prone to expensive problems after all these years) and the massive V8 that costs as much to run as a nuclear submarine. Considering their age and bulk, these old Benzes handle really, really well; with the 200-horsepower 4.5-liter V8, they'll cruise effortlessly at high speeds.
Armand, if you keep telling them about the W108's with the 4.5, they'll be none left for us!!
With all due respect, this is the wrong group of people to come to for help with getting someone off their addiction. We're a group of freaks who like '70s British cars with their Lucas electrics, '60s French cars with their hydropneumatic suspensions and ridiculous accents, Cold War era Soviet metal, and anything else that sane people have shrugged off as dangerous, too costly for its worth, and detrimental to the general well-being of society.
Having said that, and if he's refusing BMW and Mercedes, might I suggest something Italian. For $12k he could buy 2 Fiat Spiders or a fully restored 500.
If that's not potent enough, maybe a Maserati. Like a '64 3500 GTI ($10,000) or a '66 Mistral ($9300).
Why is it, exactly, that you're trying to talk him down from the Porsche? He's having fun, I'm sure this is keeping him off the streets (though maybe away from work, too, though if you point out that loss of job leads to loss of funds for parts supply, that should correct the issue). If it's affecting marriage or parenting, well… that's another story, but he can always get the kids out there to hand him wrenches, teach 'em
vocabularythe finer points of air-cooled engines, etc… I mean, worst-case scenario, he's learned all about the wrong things not to do and the right things to do on the next Neun-Elf he picks up.I guess it could be worse…
<img src=http://hooniverse.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/JagCarcass.jpg>
Oohh. I just got a really cold shiver down my spine, and strange metallic taste in my mouth. I gotta lie down…
Forget ze Djhermans … dat is for de rich.
Integra R, as hardcore as a 911 but won't cost the earth to run.
If you can get him aus of Deutschland:
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cto/1470839089...
If he's dead-set on a new Project Fraulein, this one is a real looker:
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cto/1475587589...
BTW, Worst CL Ad ever. Figures it was by the owner of a "Slandnose":
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cto/1478735587...
Yeah! Just help him fix the 911. If he really has lost dedication to the current project – a serious peril and almost impossible to push through – then he should get the newer 911. They're good cars and aren't all that difficult to keep running once you've sorted it. (Or so I've heard from wide-eyed men that tend to scratch their forearms while shifting from foot to foot while waiting in line at the parts store…)
But really, the key point to consider is the folly of trying to get reasonable advice from a group that would suggest a 40 year old Maserati instead of a 911 when the concern is reliability or frequency and cost of repairs.
An addict would have pawned that watch a long time ago.
PS O hurr durr! I is new!