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#notthewombat – When Auto Journo’s Don’t Heed Their Own Damn Advice

My pain is self-chosen At least, so the prophet says I could either burn Or cut off my pride and buy some time A head full of lies is the weight, tied to my waist So let’s start with a little backstory.  Here in Metro Detroit, if you have a …

Going for Broke(n) in 2016: Hooniversal Secret Ninja-Claus Rides Again

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been handed some urgent and horrifying news. I need you all to stop what you’re doing and pay attention: It’s time for Hooniversal Secret Ninja-Claus 2016.

False Neutral #40: Our Fantasy Guest List

First off, the three of us devote some attention to the 2017 Honda Rebel 300 & 500. We then briefly discuss a couple of other newly-introduced bikes that none of our listeners will ever buy, or likely even see. Finally, each of us names the motorcycle heroes — past or …

The Cammed & Tubbed Podcast: Episode 150! – Fifteen Miles Per Hour

Cam and I have been doing this dumb podcast for just under three years, which makes me sit back and evaluate what I’m doing with my life on a regular basis… Anyway, existential crisis aside, we have enjoyed producing these episodes for our listeners, and we’re happy to see when …

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#notthewombat – When Auto Journo’s Don’t Heed Their Own Damn Advice

2007-mercedes-benz-e350-wagon-4

My pain is self-chosen

At least, so the prophet says

I could either burn

Or cut off my pride and buy some time

A head full of lies is the weight, tied to my waist

So let’s start with a little backstory.  Here in Metro Detroit, if you have a “fun car” you also need a winter car.  In my case, the fun car is a 95 Mustang GT that makes 452 horsepower to the tires, and, as you would imagine it’s pretty useless when the snow flies, more so when you are rolling with 315/35ZR17’s on the back.

My planned winter car was the one I had last year, a 2005 Ford Escape that was my wife’s from new until she replaced last fall with a new Edge.  It’s been a good vehicle, V6, front drive and had 170,000 miles in it.  Well, the best-laid plans of mice and men and all of that.  On a day in late September when driving, there was a sudden banging noise coming from the right rear wheel well area.  Once home I investigated and found this:

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Going for Broke(n) in 2016: Hooniversal Secret Ninja-Claus Rides Again

hsnc2013

Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been handed some urgent and horrifying news. I need you all to stop what you’re doing and pay attention:

It’s time for Hooniversal Secret Ninja-Claus 2016. … Continue Reading

Track Tuesday

Robert Emslie December 6, 2016 Track Tuesday

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Welcome to Track Tuesday where you are asked to identify a (maybe) famous race or test track from just one closely-cropped aerial image. This week, it’s more corners.  Good luck!

Image: ©2016 Hooniverse/Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

False Neutral #40: Our Fantasy Guest List

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First off, the three of us devote some attention to the 2017 Honda Rebel 300 & 500. We then briefly discuss a couple of other newly-introduced bikes that none of our listeners will ever buy, or likely even see. Finally, each of us names the motorcycle heroes — past or present — we’d most wish we could sit down and have a conversation with. Garrett’s Internet connection continued to have bandwidth issues in a few spots, but just convince yourself that he’s actually a cyborg; hopefully this will be resolved when we return. Speaking of which, we’ll be taking a break for few weeks over the Holidays. We’ll resume our regular weekly schedule on January 10th.

Rate and review our podcast on iTunes.


False Neutral – Our Fantasy Guest List

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Why is Clarkson wearing ladies’ high heel shoes?

Kamil Kaluski December 6, 2016 All Things Hoon

high-heels, the grand tour, clarkson, conversation street

The cheeky segment of The Grand Tour called Conversation Street starts of with a cute little intro of the three hosts sitting on bar stools, waving their arms around, presumably conversing and making their own pointless points. That is all well and good except for one thing – Jeremy Clarkson’s shoes.

Jeremy, who is 6’5″ tall, is known for wearing flat shoes on the show. Flat shoes likely make driving exotic easier and reduce his height advantage over Hammond. But I can’t help notice that in this intro Clarkson is wearing what look like ladies’ fuck me pumps.

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Hooniverse Asks: Do You Have an OBDII Scanner?

Robert Emslie December 6, 2016 Hooniverse Asks

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I’m old enough to remember when the most important tool for working on your car was a stout length of solid steel rod. It could be used to whack a recalcitrant starter into action, pry interlocked bumpers apart, or fend off wolves while broken down in wolf-infested country.

These days it takes more than that to wrench on a car, sometimes even actual wrenches. One of the most useful tools in my arsenal is my OBDII scanner which has proven invaluable in diagnosing issues with the post ’97 cars in my fleet, as well as in extinguishing those annoying check engine lights that pop up on the dash from time to time. What is it that the AA people say?  Before you can fix a problem, you need to admit that you have a problem. An OBDII reader can help you with that.

Not everybody wants to invest in what is admittedly a fairly expensive piece of kit. Especially as infrequently as these things are needed on newer cars. Plus, many auto parts stores will gladly scan your car for free. Me, I like to be able to know what’s up even after regular business hours, so I have a couple of OBD-reading scanners on hand. What about you, is an OBDII scanner part of your tool kit? If so, has it ever saved your bacon? Mmmm, bacon.

Image: ScantoolCenter

Last Call: Great White Nope Edition

Robert Emslie December 5, 2016 Last Call

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You’re gonna’ need a bigger bus.

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.

Image: Imgur

Pro Tips: Minimum Standards for eBay or Craigslist Pics

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The lede image of this article shows a vendors attempt to portray the interior of a car he is selling. A picture can paint a thousand words, as we all know, and you’d think that eBay sellers would know that, too. Yet this guy took his photo on a rainy day and didn’t even bother opening the door. Hopeless.

It stuns me that, in this day of ever more informed, enabled and tech-savvy consumers, people still lack the wherewithal to post useful, informative and representative images of what they’re trying to sell. It’s clearly a lot more difficult than I assumed. OK, not everybody’s a wizard behind the lens, but the photos don’t need to be of David Bailey quality, even a few snaps from a low-tier ‘phone camera will do just fine with the application of just a little common sense.

So, in order to help navigate through this apparent minefield, I’ve taken a look around and found some specific areas that people seem to have trouble with when it comes to eBay photography. Now, I’m no expert but I still think I can share a few hints and tips to help make your eBay listings look a little more professional and a little less like a feeble and futile waste of time and energy. This is a Hooniverse Public Service broadcast.

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The Hooniverse Motorsport News For December 5th, 2016

Bradley Brownell December 5, 2016 Motorsports

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Not much to report on racing this week, just the usual. There was an excellent race in the Supercar series, Thunderhill held their annual 25-hour endurance race, Asian Le Mans series was in Japan, Ferrari tried (and failed) to make some kind of record happen, Porsche announced three new racing drivers hired, and OH YEAH, THE FORMULA ONE WORLD CHAMPION RETIRED! THAT’S NEWS!

Read along to see what good stuff happened this weekend. Summer is winding down a bit, and the racing is running to the end of the championships, so we’ll do our best to help keep your finger on the pulse. Just be aware of the fact that this post is filled with spoilers. Giant carbon-fiber, multi-element, DRS-equipped, Gurney-flapped, Spoilers! Oh, and in case you missed it, I am also hosting a new motorsport podcast these days…

Supercar Finale

25 @ T-hill

AsLMS Heads To Japan

Some Guy Retired From Some Boring Open Wheel Series

Porsche’s New Drivers

Things You Should Read

Things You Should Watch

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Quick Pic: Sebastian Vettel is a Hoon

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Sebastian Vettel making fresh donuts.

I had the pleasure of attending the Ferrari Finali Mondiali at the Daytona International Speedway this weekend. It’s a huge annual event that Ferrari hosts to celebrate the year’s motorsport successes, run world finals for their various one make customer racing events, show off the XX cars, and give their old F1 cars a chance to stretch their legs. It was a spectacular weekend with (literally) thousands of Ferraris as far as the eye could see. To cap it all off, Ferrari brought out Sebastian Vettel and Kimi Räikkönen to put on a little smoke show with the 2009 F1 cars.

You’ll be seeing much more from this event throughout the week.

[Image © 2016 Hooniverse/Greg Kachadurian]